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I have this really stupid problem. I hate my boyfriend partying and it makes me feel like a shitty girlfriend. He doesn't really do it so much anymore, but he just got a job recently with some people that like to party and I'm scared he'll start again. I know he won't cheat or anything, I just hear all these horror stories about parties in our area that I don't want him to be a part of.
I used to hate when he smoked weed, so I just kinda forced myself not to freak out over it and eventually tried it and got myself over the fear. Thing is, I didn't think I wouldn't like smoking, and I don't think I'll like parties, because I don't particularly like people, and I REALLY don't like drunk people. I'm more of a stay at home playing video games or playing with my pets or something kind of person. I just feel like I really need to get over this because just thinking about him partying upsets me, even when he's not partying. I just want to be able to stay levelheaded (at the least) if he does go party again, and I especially don't want him to have to lie to me. I should mention, I have pretty bad anxiety and have panic attacks on about a biweekly basis...
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First serious job, been at it a few months, and I've broken my whole socially awkward thing and become confident and normal. And the more confident I am, the more my boss seems to think I'm awesome, and gives me more tasks and generally seems hyped about it.
I think it's sort of gone to my head, because while I'm getting shit done like a boss, I'm also doing it with a fucking swagger, which is having a sort of noticeable change in who I talk to and how I talk to people.. my boss seems relieved she didn't hire a moron, and most people I work with talk with me a lot more now, but I actually have an entire department pissed off and me and I'm suspicious they're actually sabotaging some of my shit. My boss is behind me 100% (without outright accusing them or anything) but should I maybe start to dial back on my interactions with this department and shift it to other people? I don't want to outright give up because I do need to learn how to deal with people who hate me, but maybe I ramped the charm up a bit too fucking quickly.
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Why can't I have friends? The past three years of my life, in a nutshell:
>Have no friends in high school until halfway through senior year; they all move away for college.
>Start college, try to make friends.
>Few people I've managed to actually hold conversations with more than once never want to invite me to do anything, to hang out, go to parties etc.
>Freshman year: Friends: 0
>Sophomore year. Never see the 3 people I talked to during freshman year again.
>Switched majors, no one in any of my classes who shares any interests with me.
>Again, no one invites me to do things.
>Sophomore year: Friends: 0
>Junior year: Oh I know! I'll spend $14,000 (plus interest) in student loans to live on campus this year! I'll have to have friends!
>Roommates don't speak English most of the time, only see them drinking and smoking weed.
>Well shit. Oh I know! I'll get involved in clubs and shit like that! Meet people with similar interestes!
>Join tons of clubs.
>Show up for club meeting, talk to people, go back to dorm. Even when grouped with people with similar interests, no one wants to associate with me.
>Even went as far as adding some people on Facebook. They never talk to me.
>Right now: Spending $14,000 this year to wake up, go to classes, come back, play PC games until 2AM, repeat. I did that for FREE for the past 20 years...
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dear /adv/ I need some serious advice on this one.
I will keep this brief, I have moved around a little bit from job to job getting a feel for the world as I go. This is my second move after leaving home. Everywhere I go everyone talks poorly of one person or another, for their own reasons. I hate when people talk poorly of other people, especially when its something unfortunate like they are socially awkward, and are trying their best but still fall short of what people consider "socially adept" instead, being "socially inept".
examples: "Yea, he's just a little weird" "Haha, that guys so full of shit, seriously" "Sup *insert poor taste nickname here* what's up?" "Oh anon you're finally getting out of your house and socializing now?" "Did you see what anon was wearing, haha, I was like what the fuck?"
Does anyone else feel that speaking poorly of others is so bad that it leaves a foul taste in their mouths? Or am I all alone. I feel very isolated from people because I can't relate with anyone.
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Of all the tales of sorrow you will read about loves lost on this board, none is more truly doleful than mine. Because unlike the simian-types that devout their lives to monogamy because of emotional barriers, I am a champion of social circumstance, able to mold the feelings of those around me. I've never known these common man issues, which is why this loss has affected me so passionately.
The love I've lost is that of my nation. After throwing myself into even the most hungry and depraved branches of my once great country, I've been rejected and thoroughly insulted. This door has now been closed for me and I refuse to jiggle the lock, which is why I've turned my search to foreign military organizations to inflict more longstanding scars on the face of mother earth.
Two options I've been considering are as follows: Converting to Judaism and immigrating to Israel where I could join the IDF and probably be running the country in about a week.
Applying myself to the French Foreign Legion. Success is probable. I am a staple of physical and psychological prowess.
I am also curious to know if there are any other foreign military bodies that are willing to except foreign applicants. Any help would be greatly appreciated, and as a barter, I can provide advice for anything that ails you to a degree mistakable for mastery.
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What should I do /adv/? There's only a few thing in this world that make me happy, and one of them is helping people out. It's probably my favourite thing to see someone who's been going through a tough time manage to turn it around and they usually thank me for it.
The problem comes is when they clearly don't care about how I feel. Like I'll help a friend out with something that could be anything small to something serious (like helping a friend finally get treated for her bipolar), but nobody asks me how I'm doing ever. I managed to almost die this year and still nobody asked how I was.
It's not the fact that they're unthankful for my help, they say how grateful they are at the time. But eventually they'll go off to do something else now that I'm not needed, and leave me behind.
What should I change about myself to avoid this? I still want to help people since it makes me happy, but I don't want to be left behind afterwards.