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/adv/ Advice

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Most viewed threads in this category

I messed up

1 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: ]
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. A little over a year, and I am so grateful for him everyday. He is doting, and caring, and affectionate. He is there for me whenever I need. The problem is, I think, well, now I KNOW that I wasn't there for him enough. He has depression, and he's had it for quite some time, prior to us even meeting. I thought I was doing my part by ensuring that he takes his medication, but of course there's more to it. I think I neglected to foster his happiness the way I should have and now I'm terrified of losing him.
5 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: ]
sup /adv/ >start uni >in first week i fuck up all my valuables and have to spend a lot of money sorting this out >doing really badly on my course, not as clever as i hoped i was (if the last sentence wasn't enough of a giveaway) >can't get a job because i'm trying to stop being so shit >deadlines constantly, can't cope with the workload >have about £10 to last me 3 months bit lost what do i do
1 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: ]
Hello everyone, There's a lot of background I could give on my problems but I'd rather not go into it all. If you have questions, ask away. I feel ugly constantly, but I know I'm not as ugly as I percieve myself to be. I have acne and I pick at it a lot compulsively. I'm in the process of trying to stop. I decided to stop wearing makeup because I was too focused on my appearance, and wearing makeup actually made me feel worse because it made me feel like I needed it to feel remotely normal. Since I've stopped, I've felt better, but despite my best efforts I still have these skin picking sessions (mostly when I get stressed because of midterms or the like). It takes like a week for my skin to heal and during that week my life is miserable. I feel so fucking ugly. I don't want to leave my room. I don't want to talk to anyone. If I wear makeup, I start thinking too much about trying to look pretty, and the result is the same: I'm still thinking about my appearance more than other more important things. I feel better if I shower everyday and have nice and clean clothes to wear and go to class, but when I'm depressed about having picked/looking the way I do, it's hard to motivate myself to get out of bed and fix my situation. I know I'm the only one that can really help myself, but maybe some of you have had experiences like this (body dysmorphia I think is the term for it) and can share with me what you do to make leaving your room/doing all the things you need to do easier. I just really fucking hate myself right now and I need tips on getting motivated when things are shitty and I feel ugly. Also, tips for helping me stop picking my skin are much appreciated.
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I tend not to keep casual friends, and a few people have expressed reservations regarding what they see as my inflexibility regarding what I define as friendship. I have 2 very close friends. They're more than I deserve and there are dogs less loyal than these guys, I love them. I mention this because apart from these 2 people, I tend not to consider many other of my acquaintances proper friends. In order for me to consider someone a proper friend, I need the two of us to feature in each others lives regularly, and for both of us to speak at length, in depth and have a genuine interest in each others lives. I have people in my life I rarely hear from, maybe once every few months, who I have positive regard for but due to the infrequency I hear from them, or the superficiality of our conversations, I tend not to invest much time or emotion in. I have also been known to cut people out of my life when I don't hear from them regularly and the conversations we're having aren't involved enough, not out of spite but because I don't enjoy them. I'm very all or nothing about this. I know what i want. Do you see an issue with this, and what are your own feelings and experiences?
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Is it common for men to lose the ability to express their emotions as they get older? I don't mean bottling up emotions on purpose to put up a strong front, but actually finding themselves unable to naturally express how they feel? I lost someone I was close to a few days ago and feel like it hasn't affected me as much as it should. I feel like I'm just pretending to be sad because it's the right thing to do, but really don't feel anything. Despite this, I'm having recurring dreams where all I do is cry. Should I see someone about this? I really feel like I'm bottling up emotions unintentionally and could snap at someone.
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I'm not sure how to feel about something my gf (of 6 months) said when we first started dating: >she mentions she was raped in the past and wants to tell me before it gets serious >i ask how it ended. did someone go to jail? what did the police say? >she says no because there was no evidence and they didn't believe her (in US, not some 3rd world country) >ok weird but whatever, feel kind of bad for her >begin liking her a lot, i get increasinly angry that someone raped her in the past >couple weeks later i ask her if she knows who it was, she does >now i'm actually suspicious as to what happened, she says she was under influence of alcohol but insists it was assault rape not date rape >ask for his name (and adress but she doesn't give me that) >he has his facebook profile public >she likes/comments on literally every post of him, also posts after we started dating >ready to break up with her at this point, i call her to come over >confront her with it, she breaks down crying she is trying to cope with it bla bla >at this point i accept it just never happened and was a lie she doesn't want to back out of (i tell her i don't believe her) >she agrees to never contact this guy again, i tell her i will break up on the spot if she does >move on with relationship so now i'm here, too much in love with this girl to break it off anymore. it doesn't bother me anymore, but sometimes i still wonder why she ever made that up?
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hi adv, i came here because /b/ din't help i have 19 years old, and i wonder why, but now i am anger about anything, i can't think about women because i want to fucking kill anybody, i can't control being like this, and im scared because i was so social and even people like to be with me, now i am hating everyone, hell even my mom got scared because im become like this, can anyone help me why?

Girlfriend wants rape fantasy

5 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: ]
So my girlfriend told me last night that she wants a rape fantasy. I know it's a very common thing for women to want; however, I am the least aggressive person ever. I'm just a skinny white dude who spends his time playing guitars and whatnot. I've already had tons of trouble just "dominating" her in normal sex scenarios (which she has expressed that she likes). I got handcuffs because she liked the idea of that as well, and we've had some success with them, but a majority of the time, it's me fumbling awkwardly to put them on, then continuing, and then awkwardly positioning her so the cuffs aren't uncomfortable. She said it's something she's been fantasizing about a lot lately, and I'd really like to do it for her. I got details from her of exactly what she's looking for, and I even came up with a plan to kind of ease us into it (starting with discussing all the times I'm allowed to just take advantage of her whenever I want). But I'm still pretty terrified that I'm going to fuck it all up. And if I can't fulfill this fantasy, won't she always want it? Maybe even get to the point where she goes to other men for it? That idea scares me, and puts a lot of pressure on myself to do this right. The only problem is that I'm historically so bad at doing these things right. So.. any advice?

Advice

49 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: ]
Hey /adv/ Look like I'm going to have a few hours of doing nothing at work, so let's use the time to have a nice GoodGuyGreg's Advice thread. >Review I'm a regular 23 year old guy from the Czech republic. I've had the luck of having such life experience that taught me how to behave in many social situations. I grew up in a hotel, which forced me to make new friends quickly. The high-school I attended, with a 1:9 guys to girls ratio, taught me how to deal with girls. The journalism course I attended in university taught me how to talk to anyone about pretty much anything. Currently I'm working as a receptionist at a middle-sized hotel. I'm here to attempt to give socializing, dating, relationship, pick-up and nonverbal communication advice. >Ask me anything
13 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: ]
If you found out a girl had tits like this would you find it hard to have sex with her? Especially if the girl is nowhere near as pretty as the one in pic related.
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This board is currently a piece of shit. All people talk about here is "how do I ask this girl out" or something very generic and can be simply solved. I would like this board more if people talked about something other than their gf unlike 1% of the time
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Alright, looking for some thoughts here. I make 7.95 an hour and work about 17 hours a week. My GF makes the same and works about 15 hours a week. Gas is no more than $80 a month. We have $3000 in the bank. This place for rent is $275. We would only need to pay for water and electric. We can skimp on food, that's no problem for us. Next semester (early next year) I will be getting some school loans to help with money. We have a cat and some small animals, so that would add to expenses. We've never lived on our own before, so I'm looking for some thoughts on if you think this is feasible or any other advice you can give us. Estimated budget in next post.
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My girlfriend wants to go clubbing on weekends. She asked for my permission and said I can pick her up if i'm worried. Should I be worried? I trust her. But her+alcohol+men not so much.
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ITT write a letter to someone who will most likely never read it.

NEET and Shut-in Advice Thread [Version 60]: One Year Anniversary

156 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: ]
Welcome to the NEET and Shut-in advice thread! (Version 60, running since Oct. 31st, 2013) It's hard to believe but the NEET and Shut-in advice thread will celebrate its one year anniversary on Friday the 31st. Before I begin I want everyone to know that none of this would have happened if Cpucake hadn't started the thread on a whim Halloween night last year. Thanks to her NEETs and Shut-ins have a place to go where they can discuss their situations, receive advice and make friends. I wanted her to make this thread tonight but she was unable to due to a real life problems nipping at her heels. I hope she'll be able to make a statement sometime before or during the anniversary though so please keep an eye on thread in the meantime. When I first found this thread close to a year ago I never expected it to make such an impact on my life. I can remember my first day in #NEETadv in mid November and how I was taken aback by how friendly everyone was to me when I explained my situation to them. I was used to the patronizing remarks and the general disdain people held for me when they learned of how I live. It was a relief to finally be amongst people who knew what it was like to be NEET and the burdens the lifestyle brings. Since December, I've tried to keep the spirit of that day going in the thread, in #NEETadv and in the forum, as much as possible. It has been a task at times especially with Cpucake not being around as often as she used to be. But I don't regret the time I've spent trying to help others and keeping the community together. I want to thank all of the anons (including the google doc maintainer) who have helped others in the thread this past year. Your selflessness should be an example for everyone. I've seen a lot of people come and go during my time here and I hope that they've 'made' it instead of giving up. Regardless, I wish all of them well; even the troublemakers. I hope you all find happiness some day. Happy NEET anniversary everyone!






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