Cannot find a bf
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I am almost 23 and for all of my uni years I was unsuccessful with men.
I try to dress well, go out a lot (uni, student organisations, parties, etc), initiate conversation with people- all that with no success.
I really feel my time to find someone decent shrinks, especially since I dont see myself suddenly getting men interested in me, if they havent been for those years.
What can I do about my situation?
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For years, I've been a deeply closeted gay man trying and failing to be straight. I am now 25 and never been comfortable with my sexuality. I've had several bad relationships with women, and a few guilty trysts with other men. The thing is my tastes in men are very pronounced masculine men, which is another source of shame, I feel guilty of the homo men who are mainly attracted to girly boys and trannies. The type of men I like are distinctly manly: tall, bald, bearded, strong. I'm 25 year old 5'8" 165 lbs man who lifts but will always be a small man; tall, rough looking manly bald guy make my knees weak and I get distracted staring at their heads and feel like spanking their big muscly asses. I'm a complete queer from a very religious and homophobic family who doesn't associate with LGBT fags at all, loves Donald Trump and prays to Jesus; and all I want is a big bald man with size 14 feet to hold me at night. I feel deeply ashamed.
Lately I've been perusing on Grindr while home, alone and horny. I've starting talking to a man who immediately stood out to me as strikingly handsome, I was amazed he even replied to me. He is 6'3", weighs over 210lbs, clearly lifts and has a beautiful hairy body (he sent me pics), Brazillian, very light skinned (I almost didn't believe his ethnicity), blue eyed, thick sexy beard and a completely bald and shiny head. I'm absolutely fucking smitten with this man, I honestly can't believe he gave me his number. Just the thought of calling him and meeting him in person is making my heart pump like crazy. I'd do all sorts of unspeakable things with this man if I had the chance.
The truth is I'm still really scared, he says he'd like a serious boyfriend, is a top and that he finds me very attractive. I feel like I've just won the sex lottery, but I really don't want to admit I'm gay. I still want to believe I'll stop being turned on by guys like him and marry a woman someday.
what do I do?
(pic isn't him but seriously resembles him)
Girlfriend broke up and acting really cold?
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>I was her first serious relationship (all her past ones were just little 1-2 week things, we spent 6 months together and before me she was single for a year)
>We done everything, we were really close, opened up to each other about a lot of things
>I was her first kiss, and first everything else
>Always done cute shit for her, treated her really good
Just to note: There was definitely no other guy or cheating or anything like that.
So anyway after having the best relationship she ends it out of nowhere. Giving me one vague excuse after another and how she has to move on. For 2 days we spoke, and I tried to find the reason, tell her how important she is to me etc, but to no avail.
Then I left it for 2 weeks, and started talking again. During that time her sister tells me she was talking to one guy last week, then another a few days later and this week its another, which isn't like her at all. So I message her, and we're talking. But she's just being so cold and talking to me as if I was never the best boyfriend she had. She's telling me shes moved on, and acting like 2 weeks later its too late to fix anything, and shes saying she can do what she wants etc. I tell her how special she is to me and why is she being like that, she tells me to don't play that game I'm going asleep (but we still talk / argue for the next half hour). Saying she doesn't care about us anymore.
I'm just so confused and hurt she's acting like I cheated on her or something. I never done anything except treat her good, we been through thick and thin together, always affectionate to each other all that jazz and from that, to this??