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How do I deal with the fact that Im spending my New Year's Eve in bed because people think I'm too ugly to be around them? My friend is at a party, probably going to fuck, too.
And I'm spending my time in a fucking bed, and I want to cry so hard, but I just can't. Haven't been able to in years. I'm just exhausted from the daily mental marathons of coping I go through and telling myself that after I get the money and surgery everything will be fine, while deep down I know it wont change a thing since I am inherently ugly just like my parents, and the fact that I'm still a virgin at 20 and spent and will continue to spend the best years of my life feeling sorry for myself and the genes I was born into while other people get it all.
What Im trying to say is, I will snap sooner or later and just take my life, I can almost certainly guarantee that this will happen in less than 3 years.
What the fuck should I do? I need serious help, I'm mentally breaking down...
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I hate seeing things like pic related. I also hate when people say "adulting."
It is like if you didn't have a good childhood, or a good adolescent experience, then you're fucked. Your first 21 years are the only time you're able to have fun.
But fuck that, I'm 26 and I'm having more fun now than I have in my entire life. I'm finally free to do what I please. I dress how I want, act how I want, do what I want. But it seems like somehow I'm inherently "misbehaving" or not acting my age.
What gives? Why are people like this?
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I'm a young guy that has never really been sucessfull with women. I was the weird kid without a couple in prom, the guy that went through highschool without a girlfriend. When I was 15-16 I decided to change, started lifting in hopes of changing this to no avail (I'll post some pics of my body below for reference). I hardly ever get out of my home and social events are very, very rare in my life - something I'm not entirely content with but my crippling fear of rejection won't allow me to change. I've lost my virginity to a hooker but had no success with girls so far. Some compliment my body casually and that's about it. I won't be posting my face due to privacy, but I like to think it's tolerable, not 10/10 handsome but not a deal breaker either.
So I come to you for help. I have little to no standards, I'm pretty sure I'd be okay with a 4/10 girl with no real qualities. I'm not looking for a model, I'm not looking for an older/younger woman, I'm not looking for anything specific. At this point I'm just looking for anyone that's not absolutely abhorrent. The girl can be a virgin, a whore, I don't care.
So please give me your honest two cents. You can be a guy, a girl, or anything in between. Give me your honest opinion and tips to score.
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so, my bf is starting to act really weird.
>would have had a class reunion next weekend where they would have gone to germany. he is determined to cancel, because he'd "rather spend his time with me"
>i told him i want to gift my sister a weekend trip for her and me for her birthday. he said "i don't want you to go on vacation witheout me"
>we went to a club two days ago and all he did was urging everybody to go home again "because he would rather be alone with me" (he only told me that, not his friends)
>we were at an amusement park and he said "i never want to go anywhere with you again, because if we're put, all i do is wish we were at home again"
>i got ready for going for dinner at some friends house and i jokingly said that i might have to wear a different dress to cover the hickey he gave me. he said in a strange tone "are you going to wear auch a low neckline?". then he suddenly changed his outfit to something a lot less fancy (from suit with tie to jeans and button down), so that i decided to wear jeans and a blouse too instead.
>today i got dressed after showering and he came in, embraced me from behind and suddenly he nonchalantly pulled up my neckline. i said "what are you doing?" and he said "i don't want you to go out like that", so i answered "ok then muhammed".
>a short while after the incident above, he asked me if i got any push-up bra's. i said no, but that i could get one. he said "that would be nice, but you could only wear it at home".
honestly /adv/, what's his problem? i really don't dress slutty. quiet the opposite in my eyes.
pic related. about the same neckline he "pulled up".
What do I do with these friends?
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I have a weird problems with my friends but let me just give you a little background first.
There is this dude, let's call him Joel, that was a really close friend when I was a kid/pre-teen. We kinda lost each other but we started seeing each other this summer. First it was just once but I quickly met all of his friends and integrated the group pretty well.
We spend the best summer ever, it was almost like one of these cliché teen movies.
Fast forward to last month, obviously summer break is over so we don't see each others nearly as much as we live pretty far apart but we still talk a lot over facebook and that kind of stuff.
I got invited to his birthday and I saw everybody after 1 and a half month of not seeing anyone IRL. It was a really nice party and everyone seemed really happy to see me. Last thing we talked about was how we should try do another party across multiple days soon and all that.
But here's the problem, I just find out that they were throwing a huge party for new years eve and they didn't invited me. They haven't talked about it at all.
Now that I trough about it, I realized they had seen each others multiple time between the summer and Joel birthday without telling me anything. They actually invited once between summer and Joel's birthday but I couldn't come.
What should I do? Why in the world do they seem to like me this much, but never actually include me in group plans? I really don't understand.
Any help /adv/?