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Shat myself in BJJ, should I go back?
I've been doing BJJ for 2 years now and am trying to get my blue belt. Last week I agreed to spar with this 11 year old kid on his first lesson. Now I'm a 31 year old man, 6'0 and 135 lbs and to put it in perspective he comes up to my midsection in height and he tells me he's 60 lbs. So obviously I decide to go easy on him during sparring. During the 15 minutes neither of us got a tap out.
So next lesson I decide to go harder. I'm all attack and then suddenly he counters. I'm flat on my back and he's squeezing the life out of my neck with his legs. I decided to just try and lift up his legs since he's only 60 lbs but I couldn't budge them, turns out small and skinny white boy has disproportionally muscular legs that are probably bigger than mine and I'm serious. To make it worse he just grabbed one of my arms and was twisting it like crazy.
It was the most pain I've been in my BJJ career. I started loudly gagging and am tearing up. I really wanted to tap out but I just kept on thinking of how embarrassing tapping out to a 60 lbs kid would be and got knocked out instead. When I woke up, I discovered that I had shit myself. And yes, it was very noticeable (some of it went on the mat).
How in the hell am I supposed to go back now? I really want that blue belt but I don't want to be pitied by the class when going back. And if I move to another gym I'll lose all my white belt progress. Help!
First Time Sex
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GF and I are both virgins and have a really hard time bringing up sexual stuff on account of being shy and easily embarrassed. We've been together for 5 years (since we were both 17) dating over long distance but haven't really had a chance to be intimate on account of her still living at her parents' place and also being two states away most of the time. Now, I know that probably raises a few concerns but I trust her and she trusts me. Plus, she's as much of a friendless shut-in as I am, so I doubt she'd be able to cheat on me if she even wanted to. Either way, that's not the point.
The point is, I'm going to be moving to be with her very soon and she plans on moving in with me shortly after I set up. Since we really haven't gotten to be all that hands-on with each other for five whole years, I assume something's going to happen pretty quickly.
In short, I need advice on first time sex or even just general sex tips so I have some clue of what I'm doing. I also need advice on how to talk to her about it because I think it would help if we had a discussion about it but I'm just so embarrassed to bring it up with her, plus I don't even know when would be a good time to bring it up. We've tried talking about it before but it's just been really awkward and generally difficult. And then it also hasn't helped that there hasn't been much reason to talk about it since we haven't had any opportunity to have sex for these past five years.
Anyway I know this all sounds really stupid but I'm really nervous about all this so any advice anyone can give me would be really, really helpful.
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Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>*NEW* How do I ask a friend out without it being awkward, ruining our friendship or putting them on the spot?
You don't. Ask them out or don't ask them out, it's up to you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.
>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.
>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships, and fart guy
Getting Out There
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/adv/ newfag here, so "whoops" in advance if I break any unspoken rules or whatever.
I'm aware that the way to meet people, make friends, find relationships, etc. is to get out there and be outside to interact with people. But where exactly is "out there" and what do you do in it?
I'm a mid-20s kissless uggo, though I was never really interested in relationships much to begin with. I finished up uni and got myself a nice job and security, so now I feel like the next step in getting my life sorted would be something like developing some relationships or friendships beyond my tiny circle of friends.
I don't really know where to start or what to do. I'm pretty introverted and solitary, so things like going to bars or clubs or whatever doesn't seem like my bag. Really, most of the typical get-together kinds of things just don't seem interesting to me as far as activities goes, and it seems wrong for me to go places or do stuff I dislike just for the sake of finding people.
Should I really be so worried about this? I could always just keep doing what I do in solitude and probably be content with it, but a part of me feels like I'm not living my life properly if I don't have these sorts of things set up.
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I need some /adv/ice, I have finally come to terms with myself that I really would not work well in a relationship or dealing with that stuff. But I still wanna be loved, so I need a pet. BUT i am allergic to birds, cats, and dogs.
What is a good alternative to a dog, but get the same affection?
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I have this neighbor I've known for a long time, we're friends really, that I'm not attracted to in the slightest, but I know he is to me. The deal is, I'm 19 virgin male and this seems like a good opportunity to get experience, should I suck it up and talk to him about it?
On a side note, there is this one friend of mine that I'm really attracted to, he identifies as straight, but has been with a boy like once. Should I try telling him what I feel? Any healthy ways to approach this without spoiling our friendship? I think he's hot but I rather not say anything if it would make things between us weird.
/ODAG/ - Online Dating Advice General
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Trying out a new kind of thread, significantly different from the /soc/, or other tinder-centric threads. There may have been threads similar to this in the past, but this advice is platform agnostic. Gonna give this a few trial runs and maybe it can catch a good cadence if the feedback is positive.
I do get that there's a blur between /adv/ and /soc/ with respect to this topic, but here we're looking for a little more than just picking the right images for getting laid.
Here, we offer advice, coming from both males and females, on ways in which we can improve our online persona so that we increase our value to the opposite sex and attract the people we want to have in our lives. There are people who get paid to do this, so who knows, you might strike up a career path if your advice is good. Let's try this.
>Possible advice on
Biographical paragraphs and related ilk, image selection and simple photography tips, links to good advice, do's and don'ts of first messages, how to master the algorithms, formatting and content improvments for the OP
>Possible discussion about
Timelyness, ex: profile creation date vs first date with s/o. Online dating platforms, one vs another. Subscription models - worth it? Age evaluation - does it get better?
Try to leave whether you're male or female in your replies, ratings for images and bios (x/10) should be discouraged for actual qualitative not quantitative feedback, anonimity should be respected as well, blue board rules apply, be descriptive on what areas you need help on
Are you male or female, and how is/was your experience with online dating?
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I dont know what to do anymore. All my ambitions are gone, and my interests are slowly slipping away. Im 19, and next month will be a year since I graduated. Ive accomplished jack shit. I'm going to community college, and I'm doing terrible because I lack any motivation. My high school experience sucked, and now I look back at with regret. My teachers always told me I had potential, but no one ever guided me into the right direction of going to a good college. I was in one club, but besides that nothing else. I was a musician in middle school, but didn't follow through. I could be great right now. Im beginning to notice all of the girls that liked me, and how I could've had multiple girlfriends by now. I'm working in the fast food industry (McDonalds). Just a couple months ago, was in the process of being promoted. All of that went out the window once I went back to school. Now I'm shit at my job, and my manager has pushed me to the side. The only good thing in my life is my girlfriend, but I feel sometimes it'll end. She's ready to settle down, because of all of the assholes she dated. But I've never dated anyone. I would've liked to explore with other girls, but she's amazing. I don't want to lose her. Im just lost, and I don't know how to get my motivation back. I have a gym membership but haven't gone. I don't have a car, and I don't have a license. What the fuck. Im a loser.