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/adv/ Advice

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Most viewed threads in this category

24 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: Cry.jpg]
How do I apologize for being such a heinous bitch? Boyfriend was going to a high-school reunion. He was really quite excited, even though I got the impression he wasn't hugely enthralled by high school. I kept saying I wasn't going to go, that it was an opportunity for him to re-connect with old friends, but he kept talking about it, and especially this one girl, Dianna, whom he used to play a lot of chess with. (And he teaches chess, professionally, to him the game is a BIG deal) And this went on to the point where I was half-sure he was going to hook up with this Dianna chick, and I didn't explicitly say I thought that, but I'm pretty sure he picked up on the vibe anyway, and I wound up at the last minute deciding to attend, more to keep an eye on him than anything else. We get there, and I meet Diana. She's in a wheelchair, her middle body's all twisted, her arms are sticks, and boyfriend whispered to me later that she's been like that, physically, for as long as he's known her. I don't know what condition she has, but it's probably some sort of muscle degeneration? The point is, I'm not even sure she'd be able to have sex from a purely physical point of view, and it took two seconds of observation to realize bf sees her almost as a little sister he's there to protect and not a love interest. I feel terrible, for my lack of trust, but he keeps going on, I'm sure in his mind he's being gracious, by simply pretending not to acknowledge how much of a bitch I've been in the past few weeks, and that makes it hard to apologize to him, which he really does deserve. I sort of know what I want to say to him when we both get home, but I'm not so sure how to open the conversation up. Anyone help?

Cheating thread

13 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: 1366022752557.gif]
Hey /adv/, After someone cheats how long in your experience can a relationship last? Why would someone cheat six years into a relationship? General cheating experiences thread

ping pong ball in colon

19 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: 200px-Dickdarm-Schema.svg.png]
hi fellows.. as an heterosexual male I did some stupid things. well, in brief, I have a ping pong ball in my colon since January! :( somehow I kept on having bowel moments daily as usual. just with the fact that I poop less each time (I guess it's just the amount that can make it beyond the ball) and constantly feel a little constipated. I feel the ball moving inside time to time. referring to the schema I posted here, I can say it's usually hanging around between part 3 and 4. a few times it went to part 1, but never came to the end, which is part 5. I guess it just can't pass from 4 to 5 because of the sphinchter muscle between them. once because of some light ache, I felt as it was passing to 5 but then it got back. I'm pretty sure I can let it out, only if it can pass from 4 to 5. I tried; relaxing in different positions, sitting in hot water for a while, having diarrhea, having constipation, minding my diet accordingly, etc. but nothing worked. luckily I don't feel like there's an emergency; no pain, no permanent constipation, but just some feeling of discomfort time to time, and knowing that it's still there.. as you can see this is not a joke. and I still don't want to think of going to the hospital because of some personal reasons. I'd really appreciate some serious suggestions for getting it out or at least making it pass from 4 to 5, or maybe some way to relax my intestine muscles to let it out. thanks in advance to the ones who will care..

Sexual Abuse

33 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: sex abuse.jpg]
Need your help, guys. My cousin just told me she was abused by a family member when she was a kid, it lasted for about 6 years. It stopped a while ago but it never came to light, I'm the second person she's told. She wasnt raped but she was touched heavily everywhere, and this happened at least once a week for 6 years. Of course she's still dealing with it, coping in her way, but just wanted to know what I could do for her other than be there for her and listen. I recommended therapy but she says it's still too early. Anybody wanna share their own stories dealing with this? Advice? Anything? Thanks
0 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: Film_410w_UnderVolcano.jpg]
The girl I like is sad. Not depressed, but very sad on her daily routine. The few times we meet and had a date, she was very very happy with me. But I can't date her every day. Ways of cheering her up without looking too clingy? I called her yesterday and it took her by suprise. We had a few laughs and she sounded happier
0 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: pic unrelated.jpg]
Not exactly world-shaking stuff here, but if anybody has some input, it's welcome. Pic unrelated. I quit college half-way through and got a box-pushing job. I found that I had no motivation to do any of the things that I really want to be good at. I figured getting a job would help with that. It is not. I've found that with the right incentive (a paycheck), I can motivate myself extremely well to accomplish tasks that OTHERS set for me (getting to work on time and doing a good job while I'm there), but I still have no way of motivating myself to accomplish tasks that I set for MYSELF (learning to make indie games, writing fiction, getting better at the guitar and starting to compose music). All of those things I am so deeply interested in. I can't imagine myself dying happy unless I had spent my life doing one of them for a living. But for the life of me I cannot motivate myself to start making habits out of them, or even to get out of bed at a decent time unless for work. I always end up telling myself "I'll start on that tomorrow." Sooner than I think there may not BE a tomorrow. How do I build self-discipline when I do not have enough self-discipline to start disciplining myself? Broad philosophies and mindsets ("only put off till tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone") have inspired me to worry about this, but what I might need are actual practices, tricks, systems, et cetera.

He stood up a girl for me

15 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: Bjrk+bjork1.jpg]
Aright I feel truly awful. Last friday I had tough a night. I just heard my boyfriend was cheating on me and we broke up. I wanted just wanted to get drunk with a friend. Then I realised I had no friends, my only good friend being my bf's best friend. After hesitation I called him. He heard I was crying even if I tried to hide it. I told him I just wanted someone to talk.. He was at my place with alcohol 20 minutes later. We got drunk. I told him things I never thought I'd tell him. I cried. He was awesome and he told me he was still my friend and that we'd still hang out together (which was exactly what I wanted to hear). He stayed till I fell asleep. The next morning I sobered up. I thanked him. During casual conversation I asked him how it was going with the girl he told me about. He said "I don't think that will work". It's only later by another friend that I learnt that he was on a date with her when I called him (I could never have guessed by the tone of the voice) and that he left her in the middle of the date. Apparently the girl was kinda pissed. So I feel very bad. Do you think I should try to contact the girl and explain her the situation and try to get thing better? I'm tempted to do so but he hasn't told me about that story so I don't know if I should interfere...
2 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: help_wanted.jpg]
Hey /adv/, I'm really quite sick and might have to face the fact that I could very well not be here too much longer. How do I accept my own mortality? I don't want to come across sounding like an edgy brat, but I don't feel like it has really hit me yet; and I'd like to be prepared for when it does. I'm sorry to bother you, but I don't really have anyone I feel comfortable discussing this with.
20 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: previewc016f80f172ed8648b07a88e6961ff60.jpg]
/adv/, help me. I would research this on my own but I really can't think straight at this point. I'm afraid to leave my house. It's become too unpredictable for me because I hallucinate (yes, I'm positive they are hallucinations) and can't control my reactions. I hear a voice as well, but I have learned to handle that with very, very loud music. I don't think its schizophrenia. I don't take drugs or drink or anything, so I don't know what else it could be. I know I sound like the biggest pussy, but could someone tell me what this is or at least give me a way to deal with the hallucinations in public without acting strangely in front of others?
15 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: getoverherebro.jpg]
Why is tomorrow worth living? I have no desire to do anything. Money means nothing to me. I haven't been genuinely happy in years without the assistance of weed. I haven't been able to find a job since I got discharged from the navy. I live in my moms basement and I'm going to college, but I'm not doing well because I just don't have the motivation for it. I don't even understand what motivation is. I'm constantly alone when I'm not at school. I haven't had a girlfriend since my ex-fiance cheated on me and got preggo with another guy. I have no desire, no drive, and nothing that I care about. I think about suicide on a daily basis just because I don't see the point in existing. I need help, otherwise I'm just going to end up living the rest of my life mooching off my mom (who used me as a walking bank account until I turned 18) and dad (who's willing to give me all the money in the world as long as I stay away from him). What do I do /adv/? How do I want? How do I become happy? How do I care about the things around me? I don't understand. I need to find a purpose, but nothing in the world sparks my interest. If I keep living like this I'm going to blow my brains out, but I don't want to, I'm just sick of this pathetic existence.
25 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: waiting-by-the-phone1[1].jpg]
>fight between gf and I >gf says she is done >try to get her to talk >doesn't want to >goes out last night with people >removes relationship from facebook Should I consider it over? What usually happens when she is upset is she acts like this until we meet in person, then she can't stay mad. Should I keep trying, at least a few more times, to get her to talk in person? I really care about her, but the worst part is not knowing. I'm basically in relationship limbo here.
9 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: 1365641039119.jpg]
Why am I such a cunt to everyone that isn't my family?
3 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: 1358516102176.jpg]
/adv/ I've been speaking to a guy for a few months now. We originally met through /r9k/ (yeah, I know...) and we got on really well. We spoke almost every day when I was available and over time, it was apparent that he had feelings for me. This wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted someone to chat to when I was a bit bored. I have no interest in meeting somebody online. I explained this to him and he has the attitude of "Let's just see how it goes". After explaining to him numerous that I would never be interested, I gave up. He sent me a photograph of himself and I was polite, but he's really not my type. He's slightly overweight, quite short and clearly doesn't really look after himself. He doesn't work, still lives with his parents and doesn't seem to have any motivation. He says he is depressed but doesn't seem to want to improve himself...blames everyone else for issues that he should take responsibility for. I have no interest in him romantically and he's starting to express his interest in me more, even though I have explained this to him. What can I do? Cut all contact? He's a really nice guy, he's just a bit intense.
5 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: PicardDoubleFacepalm-1.jpg]
First time poster /adv/ so Im sure you get stories like this a lot but I'm going to go ahead anyways. I fell in love with a girl for two years and she cheated on me. Typical story I guess...but It was the only girl that Ive ever had feelings for, or loved. She then proceeded to lead me on and throw me away for a few months. This has totally destroyed me emotionally. I'm unable to communicate with people, generally apathetic, paranoid all the time, and I haven't been able to emotionally connect with a girl since. Its been about 2 years and I finally met someone I'm interested in...the problem being that now I think I'm too anxious. I'm constantly worried that she might be interested in someone else, or might leave me, or afraid Ill scare her off by being to direct. I genuinely don't know what to do or say. I panic about the future and am unable to enjoy the present. So my question /adv/ is, how do I get over this crippling anxiety and fear. How do I open myself up emotionally again. I mean I feel its a bit weird/embarrassing that I'm still hurt by this girl after so long. But at this point I'm just not enjoying life, and Id really like to be able to be excited about someone again.
7 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: image.jpg]
Hey can anyone give me a good method to drain my sinuses they've been bugging me all day it'd be much apreated.
10 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: The Barn Owl Trust.jpg]
Hey guys just wanna let you know my girlfriend was fat then I took her to the gym to work out with me and now she's getting skinnier.

2+ Jobs at once

2 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: Thanks adv.png]
tl;dr - How to work two or more jobs? ~greentext need not be read, but it provides some context~ >This is my first real time at this board, checked out the >other threads. There are a few on jobs and such, but not >quite what I need. Long story short I'm going to need to >work at least two jobs. Due to circumstances I am currently >unemployed and I need this to change *ASAP*. I'm seeking advice from others who have worked two jobs at the same time, but all advice is welcomed. What is the best course of action: - A full time job, 1+ part time jobs - 2 Full time jobs - All part time jobs - other??? Any tips/adv/?
19 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: HNI_0028_JPG.jpg]
Yesterday some anons told me I have depression. How do I cure it without pills? Is it even worth curing?
17 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: dawww.jpg]
So /adv/, I need your help. Tomorrow my gf of 14 months is going to the dr. We assume she's pregnant, because she missed her period last month and has been getting morning sickness. We're far from being on solid enough footing in our relationship to raise a child together, and I do well enough to support myself and maybe her but I can't afford a baby right now. It's her body, so I let her make the choice and she agrees the mature thing to do is terminate. Has anyone gone through this in a relationship before? Anons, if you have what sorts of impact should I expect this to have on her emotionally? Femanons, how am I supposed to "be there" for her in this situation and and what sorts of things can I do and say to comfort her and help her through this experience? How can I try to get things back to normal? Is she going to resent me for this? Will our relationship have a high failure rate now that we're going through this?

To ponytail?

6 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: Window Licker.gif]
So dear friends Recently my hair has been needing a cut however I am lazy and haircuts are overpriced. I'm tempted to grow it out to the length of a (short) ponytail. Is this acceptable in today's society or still frowned upon?

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