59 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: grocery_store_masochist.png]
I find myself constantly wanting to humiliate, defile, and degrade my girlfriend.
She isn't really into it, but she does it because she knows I enjoy it and get off on it. But I can see it's really taking an emotional toll on her lately. I can't help myself though. I don't know what it is exactly, but I see her, and particularly when she is nicely dressed, you know that clean fresh start of the day look, she has her makeup on, and looking at her, I just get these dark thoughts. I don't know why, I don't know what the root of them is. Perhaps it's because she is such a kind and compassionate person, but I see her looking normal, and I want to destroy that image. And I make her do real fucked up sexual things.
It didn't used to be like this. I mean we dated for a year without anything like this ever happening, we were normal, we had a good sex life, what the fuck happened to me? How do I stop doing this? I get caught up doing this stuff to her, and then afterwards I look at her, and at first I am satisfied, but then I deeply regret it. I can't believe it was me that did such things.
I'm probably fucking talking in circles here. I don't even know if anyone here will understand or be able to help me, but maybe other folks have felt this way and dealt with this? I'm hoping so. I don't want to lose the relationship or really start to fuck her up emotionally.
22 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: marijuana-dbc04668ba596d1d11bbfdcab(...).jpg]
Any success stories from former potheads? I've tried and failed to quit smoking weed three times this year, I'm determined to make it stick this time. I know, it's not addictive and I'm a pussy, but it's proven to be a very difficult habit to break.
I've been smoking daily (pretty much whenever possible) for about four years now. I don't judge anyone who enjoys weed, obviously I do too. I'm just tired of it. I blow off my friends because I'm too high to go out, I procrastinate for days on tasks I could finish in an hour, I feel like my brain is floating in a fish tank, and my life has barely moved forward in two years. I'm a slower, stupider, more socially awkward version of my former self. I'm ready for a clear head.
I guess I just need to hear that it's worth quitting from someone who has done it. I know I can't blame pot for all the problems in my life, but I feel that I'd be more proactive about solving them if I wasn't stoned all the time.
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How important is it to go to university if you want to write professionally? Because I don't have that kind of money, also I didn't do the right subjects in school; so if I did apply, I'd only just get in, also it's hard for me to write essays and stuff unless I'm actually interested in the book/poem/whatever.
Yes, I know writing analysis of text is meant to make me a better writer, and I have been known to pick things I've watched or read apart like that before, but it's very subjective, so I can't do it when I'm forced to do it.
And there's no other courses I could get onto or am interested in.
But if it's the difference between making it on my own and staying the fuck here then I'll do it.
I don't know.... did any of you major in English Literature? Was it like it is at school, or not?
Because I couldn't do it at school, not because it was too hard, because it wasn't, it's just that it required to me also do other subjects as well, which I struggled with and therefore hindered me doing English.
I do think it's sort of ridiculous that just because I wanted to do English in school, I would have had to done other things. Because you get autistics and such that are creative yet not academic. They usually end up doing media courses. Maybe I should do that. I don't know.
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need some /adv/ guys
Long story, but i'll try to summarize it;
>friends with this girl for 4 years
>go out clubbing together a few times a couple of months ago
>dance, hook up, etc, every time we go out.
>she tells friend she doesn't want a relationship with me, it's only sexual
>her friend tells her boyfriend, who is my best friend. he tells me
>text back and forth
>catch up a couple of times, nothing happens
>go out clubbing with her and her friend last thursday
>all over me, pulls me over to her to grind on her
>her friend asks me if i'm into her, i obviously say yes
>go back to house we're staying at
>she leaves her friend to get into bed with me
this is where the night fucked up.
it was their friends step mums house, because it's close to the city
>find syringe in bed
>cock blocked by syringe
>we all leave to go to girls actual mums house
>only 1 bed
>can't fuck next to her best friend
>she tells me how glad she is that i'm there
>next day leave for home early because work
>she texts me all happy
>no fucking reply, now 4 days later
What do I do?
I'm pretty close with her best friend, i've been friends with her for almost 5 years.
Should I ask her friend if it's worth pursuing?
Thanks for your time guys
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Why does it feel like everything in life is like a gamble?
I really want to be a professional illustrator. Whether it's drawing comics, doing children's books, concept art/character design for video games/animated movies.
After high school, I went to a technical/trade school for cartooning and graphic art because I was told "you don't need a degree to succeed in art, just an outstanding portfolio."
Graduation approached 3 years later, artwork improves a shitload, but during interviews with professionals from art companies I was told "your good, but you still need room for improvement"
Graduation comes, no job offers, move back home with parents and apply for a retail job because I had no work experience prior to graduating. Get a few freelance jobs here and there, but there were few and far between. And a learning experience. Each freelance job took 6 months at a time, but not much to add to my portfolio. I feel like I wasted a lot of time, and not much to show for it.
Overall, other than putting the time and energy into the freelance jobs, I didn't put enough time into drawing my own stuff. So for the next couple of years, I keep searching for a good entry level job with artwork prior to my graduation. For some reason, going back home and not being in school just made me... not want to draw anymore. Or it made me become stuck with what I want to draw.
Comics? Should I focus on just drawing comics if I want to work in comics? Illustration? Should I focus on making just an illustration portfolio if I want to become a book illustrator or something?
Concept art for movies/video games? Should I put all my time and energy into making character sheets and environments?
After a lot of pushing from my parents, as a "just in case" I don't ever land a job in the field I want, I finally just went back to college this semester. Not an art college, but just a regular local CUNY school. Cont...
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So I'm talking to a chick lately, and basically she doesn't talk much
Her responses consist half the time of just
>Oh, haha. I see. Interesting. XD
Not really any conversation, and I have to initiate most of it.
It's safe to say she's just humoring me at this point, right?
Granted she's studying for some big test apparently, but this happens even when shes not touching it.
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Aw Boy i love posting my life story..
Theres a girl, my friend of 8 years, we went to highschool together We were good friends, she told me a secret of her past when we were young. That her grandfather had molested her, she hadn't told anyone. Noone in her family knew. We had a falling out in the last year of highschool because of something stupid I did. I moved away after highschool and came back 7 months later.
We became even better friends than we were before, it was slow going. But we became even closer.
She started hanging out with some 8/10 at her work and it made me pretty jealous that she they were making out at his house. (Neither of us had dated before).
We were hanging on night at my place, and my balls got the better of me when i started groping her crotch. Although my balls were right i guess because we kept doing that for a couple months and she stopped seeing that guy from work.
Eventually we realized we were dating, just calling it something different. (we were going out to dinner and all that good stuff). I dont have a car so she drove us around (Made me feel hella beta) and after 9 months we broke up because I was being an asshole.
We kept foolin in bed for awhile because she trusts me and it was fun for us both lol. Eventually though, my roommate started going out with her, neither of them mentioned to me, except when she stopped staying the night in my bed, unfortunately I realized i really loved her now and pulled up my bootstraps and told her, i was totally friendzoned for it.
Theyve been dating for a month, I know she stays the night with him, and she still wants to be friends with me but it pisses him off abunch and he threatens to break up with her when she hangs out with me too much lol.
The problem, i come to you for, is that shes putting off crazy signals, she denys that she still has feelings for me, but says things about how big my dick is and she liked it when we were dating, or how cute i am, or how he might be moving awaysoon cont
11 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: work.gif]
So I am a smart 18 finishing first year of college. I managed to do well in high school because it took no effort, now I am failing my math course (my strongest subject). I have no motivation for anything. People around me have goals, dreams, and aspiriations thatn drive them every day, I dont. I have hobbies like coding and playing piano, but I have no passions that drive me. I hate physical excersize and the pain that goes with it. But I tried out for swim team in high school and went to the SLS program at West Point and honestly enjoyed some of it because for once in my life I pushed myself and made it through something that was hard as hell for me. The problem is, I have to have someone FORCING me to do it, I value the triumph but dont have the will power to do it on my own, I hate the suffering too much. I was thinking about looking into a martial art. I used to wrestle for fun with a friend at my boarding school and really enjoyed it (and would enjoy another martial art that employed striking and grapples) but the point is would it help with my motivation, should I go to a gym/club with no drive of my own? Sometimes I feel like i am slightly masochistic, but I wont put myself in those scenarios (working out, pushing limits) but at the same time I get a little bit of pride from doing them. ADVICE?