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I find myself constantly wanting to humiliate, defile, and degrade my girlfriend.
She isn't really into it, but she does it because she knows I enjoy it and get off on it. But I can see it's really taking an emotional toll on her lately. I can't help myself though. I don't know what it is exactly, but I see her, and particularly when she is nicely dressed, you know that clean fresh start of the day look, she has her makeup on, and looking at her, I just get these dark thoughts. I don't know why, I don't know what the root of them is. Perhaps it's because she is such a kind and compassionate person, but I see her looking normal, and I want to destroy that image. And I make her do real fucked up sexual things.
It didn't used to be like this. I mean we dated for a year without anything like this ever happening, we were normal, we had a good sex life, what the fuck happened to me? How do I stop doing this? I get caught up doing this stuff to her, and then afterwards I look at her, and at first I am satisfied, but then I deeply regret it. I can't believe it was me that did such things.
I'm probably fucking talking in circles here. I don't even know if anyone here will understand or be able to help me, but maybe other folks have felt this way and dealt with this? I'm hoping so. I don't want to lose the relationship or really start to fuck her up emotionally.
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Any success stories from former potheads? I've tried and failed to quit smoking weed three times this year, I'm determined to make it stick this time. I know, it's not addictive and I'm a pussy, but it's proven to be a very difficult habit to break.
I've been smoking daily (pretty much whenever possible) for about four years now. I don't judge anyone who enjoys weed, obviously I do too. I'm just tired of it. I blow off my friends because I'm too high to go out, I procrastinate for days on tasks I could finish in an hour, I feel like my brain is floating in a fish tank, and my life has barely moved forward in two years. I'm a slower, stupider, more socially awkward version of my former self. I'm ready for a clear head.
I guess I just need to hear that it's worth quitting from someone who has done it. I know I can't blame pot for all the problems in my life, but I feel that I'd be more proactive about solving them if I wasn't stoned all the time.
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Is there any real point in getting married anymore?
My girlfriend and I have been living together for 4 years. Neither of us are interested in it. We do great like we are but there's always pressure from friends and family for us to get married.
I mean, we have no plans to go our separate ways or anything. I don't see how life would be any different, going through all that. We thought about it once, and it was so she'd be able to get on my job's insurance plan.
Yes femanons, I am sure that she doesn't want to either. I'm not playing her.
Also, is anyone else in this situation? It's like we're the only couple in our area that feels this way.