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I made some bad choices in my university, looking back, I think it was depression.
I had a ridiculously hard time getting up in the morning, often sleeping till 1, 2 pm, and still feeling like shit.
I cared less and less about my appearance. I went 2-3 days at a time without taking a shower, several days in a row without brushing my teeth, wore the same clothes several times in a row, etc.
I was emotionally devoid, I just felt empty at times, not sad, just going through the motions, etc.
Long short short, I failed out and got kicked out of the university. I even went through like a college recovery thing where they give you a second chance and you take time management classes and shit, but the next semester I just could not motivate myself to study, do homework, etc. I just could not give a fuck.
Over the summer, I moved to a different state, and went through a long process of recovery. The separation from my friends who would reinforce my habits, smoking weed, and being in the environment I failed was amazing for me.
I am much better now. I am in a community college taking pre-requisites for a Nursing degree.
But I'm sitting here now, and just thinking..."now what?"
What can I do to improve myself, and my life? Other then taking classes, for all my other plans, like going to the gym, I keep holding it off until the next day. I don't even know if the motivation I have now is enough to keep me going.
I really don't even know what I'm asking for, I'm just confused, emotionally, I feel like I am still in the same state, its just that the factors like my friends, that would've reinforced my habits are gone.
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Sup /adv/ I posted this thread a few weeks ago and majority of you had a go at me which I accept it was my fault, I'd like to post an update along with the green text
Female friend we will call N (Known her for almost 10 years)
Male friend and N's BF we will call K (Known him for around 6 years)
>N & K been together for around 4 years
>N has been sending me mixed signals for years, always confided in me, Always says how I'm there fore her, and complains about her BF to me etc.
>Kept breaking up and making up over the period of 4 years
>Recently N & K break up for real
>Go to a club with a few buddies and K
>All of us insanely drunk at this point, K drunk dials N and starts talking to her
>I barely remember this part but I walked up to K and shouted at him "N wants my dick" or something along those lines
> K approaches me the next day asking me to explain myself, I ofc tell him that I was extremely drunk, but then I proceed to tell him about N's behavior over the years and about her body language, mixed signals etc.
> Few days later get a text from N saying "Anon did you justify your commend that night by saying my body language suggested that I wanted to sleep with you? I was under the impression that you made a mistake by making that comment, but knowing that you actually have reasoning for it, I think I have the right to hear that. Evidentially you have been analyzing my behavior for a long period of time to think so cheaply of me"
A little about N: She is a very aggressive tomboy and is practically the man in the relationship, she once got all up in my face and threated to kill me on a night out when I told her to calm down, and she is very up her self.
And here is the update
> K still talks to me and acts like nothing has happened
> N texts me telling me that we will meet up and I will have to "Explain myself" but she hasn't followed up with that
Character limit next post
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So i Started talking to this girl for about three weeks now. Its going somewhat ok. But She recently mentioned how when she was on high school up into the first 2 years of college she went through a sluttin around phase as she put it. She said she did everything(anal,group sex, all girls group sex, multiple penetrations, Bdsm parties, multiple day long fetish festivals). But that doesn't bother me. Im open minded and there are lot of things i want to try. What bothers me is that she said now that shes had her fun she does not want to have sex any more. She feels that now shes done with her raunchy phase shes ready for a actual relationship. I asked what if she was with someone and they were bothered by the lack of intimacy and she said that she wouldn't mind and occasional quickie hear or there if it was going to be an issue. She also said that it shouldent really bother me to much since i'm a virgin and i'm not missing out on much. She added to that since im still a virgin a 23 im past my sexual peak and i wouldn't be as good as i would've been any way. Is she right and im just thinking to much about it, or is she wrong?
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Okay, sorry about this. but:
23. Virgin, never been in a relationship, been fancied, had any interest shown in me etc. Working in a fairly poor job, don't have much money, not a great personality, no real ambition, unfit, not good hobbies (videogames, internet arguments, self-pity, guns). Nothing really to offer for a long-term relationship or for casual hookups.
Moved to a new office lately as part of my job. Attracted to some of the women there. Decided that it would be a bad idea to get involved in any way or try for a relationship at all due to the work thing/nothing to offer. Still has been annoying me a bit due to lust, teenager-esque horndogging.
I understand that I shouldn't try to get a girlfriend just because, for validation, etc. I understand that I should work on improving myself as a person, then possible relationships should occur. My question is: I'm still horny. Is it best to just ignore women completely (to avoid getting my hopes up) and just masturbate to porn/2D as I have been until such a time that I am a Better Person and am more suitable for relationships? Or am I being a massive fucking idiot.
Alternatively, is there a food or something that's a libido suppressant.
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I'm 18, my mom keeps saying I hate her and my sister believes her.
My mom is menopausal and going through mood swings like crazy, as well as divorced my dad and constantly argues with him on the phone.
Any anger is taken out on me.
I don't hater her, at all. I just want her to be a little bit fair.
An example. Tonight my sister is staying at a friends house, but I couldn't stay at a bros house. She said this because the only two reasons for me going out is because (a) I have a girlfriend
(b) I was getting drunk.
She also said that because dad is gone I am the man of the house, and therefore I have to be there to take care of her until I find her a replacement.
If I don't go out with my friends, she says I should be out with people.
If I do go out with friends, I'm either having sex, sneaking around with a girlfriend, or doing drugs and getting drunk.
If I don't do anything, I'm useless.
If I do anything, she doesn't approve.
I do have a job, by the way. I am attending college in January.
My friends vary in ages too, but she has a lot of shit to say about every one of them>
1. My cousin, a year older. Working but not in school. Has a house his parents gave him that is paid off as well as a paid off car. Deadweight and going nowhere. Always talks about how he is on "happy pills" (he has anxiety and depression)
2. Closest male friend, he's 19 and still in high school. Talks about how he is a druggie (he's been clean for a year), as well as how he is going nowhere because of low school marks.
3. Closest girl friend, she's like a sister to me, I'm like a brother to her. I wouldn't date her, but I talk to her about everything and she talks to me about everything. She's 20 and going back to school soon. She's also doing modelling for Victoria's Secret.
4. Another close bro of mine, dropped out of high school, got a ged. He's 21, still living home though. Going to a trade school soon. Mom always tells me he's deadweight for playing video games.
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Tonight I wanted to ask your opinion on a decision im going to have to make /adv.
To start, I have a very great job where I take home 80k a year minimum without overtime and I only work 6 months out of the year. It's great and I've been doing it for three years, but for as good as it has been, I haven't felt fulfilled at all. So I finally decided to join the army reserves since it was my dream to be a soldier since I was a kid and as a reservist I'd still get to be in the military but actually get to make some real money as well.
Unfortunately, with the military in Canada downsizing and the military being the slowest most inefficient organization ever created, it took them nearly 6 months to even call me that, so I applied to join the fire department and got offered a position as an on call fire fighter. It turns out I enjoy it quite a bit, and they are going to pay for tons of courses for me and I finally found a purpose for my life.
Now the army's calling me and I've gone through a bunch of interviews and basically all that's left is my aptitude test and a few other things which I'm going to have no problem passing. The thing is though, between working a full time job, I'm not going to have time to do both I need to pick just one, and the fire department is much better for me in the long run I will get a lot more out of it and its related to my career/future career plans more, but at the same time it's been my dream to serve my country overseas for as long as I can remember.
TLDR; Follow through with life long dream or take option with more career related skills?
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I love my girlfriend... to one point.
Damn, i make always the same mistake.
I assume that my girlfriend uses logic.
And that is always a bad assumption in terms of a woman.
No matter what she says, no matter how she act, what he tells you about her it is mostly shit, there is always something else in the past, in her mind and so on.
How the hell i deal with it?
I know this world is an illusion and we make too much assumptions.
I know that everything has to be taken with a grain of salt, always.. but sometimes bulshitting piss me off..
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>be the class clown/party animal in high school, cool with everyone and fairly popular due to my hilarious antics
>getting laid nonstop
>graduate 08 joined the army not giving a fuck about a recession
>had a few close bros again fairly popular with my group was comedic relief of our deployment.
>still getting laid although nit as much
>get out in 11 because my mrap got blown up and my knee needed a 2 surgeries. (we were leaving in a month)
>get civilian job,find gf,living happily back in my hometown
>gf and me break up all my friends are drifting away I'm mostly by myself,no sex, just broke a 4month dry spell with a 5/10 that wanted my d back in high school
>car meets and work are basically my only form of social contact and ,feel like a has been.go to bars alone sometimes I meet people, sometimes
imI'm just that akawkward alone guy.
>I just tinker on my cars in a lonely sadness or play vidya most days. the only worthwhile girl I'm talking to lives 600miles away