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/adv/ Advice

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Anonymous 2013-01-19 16:29:12 No.11496275

[Missing image file: Crying-baby-010.jpg]

Any Protips for raising a newborn?

i suffer from pretty severe anxiety. I'm not sure if i have some slight autism or aspergers or what but,

certain sounds like chewing, slurping, loud breathing make me cringe and shut down. it feels like i want to slam my head against a wall or jump out of my skin.


anyways, i am lucky to have a newborn baby boy. He is 2 weeks old. I was so excited for him to come. Since he's been here it has been very difficult. My wife has not included me in raising the child because i often get anxious and have to leave the room at night when the baby cries.


I try my absolute hardest to relax and endure the endless shrieking and fussing, but i cannot tolerate it like she can.

She just doesn't understand my condition or the way i feel. it really sucks because she thinks that i don't love her or the baby enough, that i am being impatient, or pissy.

It's just so hard /adv/ i feel like i wasn't cut out for this whole father thing.

I want to give up and leave her.
any advice for me? I'm struggling bad


>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 16:31:10 No.11496280
You're a horrible father.

>hey jimmy why don't you have a dad?
>he didn't like me

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 16:31:23 No.11496282
That feeling subsides once you've been overwhelmed by all of that and possibly sprayed by the baby's poop - in short, by being more involved with your child and forcing yourself to take care. With your wife shutting you out and you running away, your tolerance levels will never improve.

Have you spoken to a mental health professional about your issues? You can attend parenting classes with your wife, couples counselling and counselling for new parents.

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 16:34:03 No.11496295
don't give up, you'd be worse than scumbag. Raising a newborn is supertough, even for patient and mature people.

Try to agree with the mother on tasks that you would do, that will make things easier for her, without exposing more than what you can take (shopping, changing diappers, etc).

Remember, everybody has moments during which the are absolutely fed up. The better option then is just to give the baby to the other parent and take a walk outside.

My newborn cried like hell for 3 months, and the mother could not take it, so I had to deal with it. Compared to that, everything was easy afterwards

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 16:40:18 No.11496329
You want to give up and leave her? OMG. People have cycles, up and down. This is no time to give up.

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 18:34:43 No.11496779
Babies are fucking ugly.

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 18:41:54 No.11496799
>>11496275
What the hell kind of useless prick are you?? Wah wah anxiety?? Everyone on this earth was born and raised just like your son and that means there are endless amounts of fathers out there doing what they're supposed to do. As a human, you really do just have one job and that's to fuck and make offspring and you can't even do THAT without having a nervous breakdown?? Go see a psychiatrist you fucking looney toon. How dare you consider leaving your kid because your own insecurities-that'll fuck that kid up for the rest of their life and they'll blame themselves and they'll never trust you.

A baby is difficult, everyone knows that. But everyone gets through it. Your wife is getting through it just fine as are all those little sluts on that 16 and pregnant show. If a 16 year old girl can raise an infant, so can you. Grow a cock.

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 18:55:32 No.11496854
You can alleviate the anxiety by exposing yourself to the triggers gradually. Every time the baby is making you anxious, stay a little bit longer.
The newborn phase is the hardest to deal with. You suddenly have a noisy, demanding thing that needs stuff constantly. It's a ton of responsibility shoved on you at once, and a lack of sleep makes it much more stressful. In several cases, as a father, you don't have the cocktail of hormones and oxytocin making you instantly love the child. Instead, fathers often have to develop a gradual love for their kids, which is hard to do until they start interacting.
Try to overcome your anxiety to the best of your ability. In the meantime, support your wife as best as you can. Show her that you love her and the baby and that you are trying your very best, and keep in mind that this is a very trying time for the both of you and each of you might get upset and say things you don't mean.
Just try to take it easy and make sure that you two take care of yourselves. You need to take care of yourselves before you can take care of something else. It's okay to leave the baby crying for a short time if one of you is freaking out.

This is coming from a parent of a 2-year-old, btw.







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