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/adv/ Advice

Warning: All the content of this page originally come from 4chan.org. This is only a partial archive made to avoid destruction. Some posts and images may be missing. All the messages below have been posted by anonymous users and we do not guarantee any truth of what they said.
For any illegal content, please contact me so that I can immediatly destroy it!

Anonymous 2016-07-17 20:47:18 No.17366593

[Missing image file: ]

Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.

>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 20:50:04 No.17366599
Have any of you guys (also a guy) been scared of a girl in a creepy sense? Or is being creepy generally a guy thing?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 20:50:20 No.17366600
Girls, I want an innocent <5'2", really skinny, and decently qt asian gf. I'm good looking, doing well in life, and willing to work hard for it. How feasible of a goal is this?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 20:53:19 No.17366609
Considering how many Asians there are in the world, I say your chances are great. You've just got to be somewhere where you have access to meeting a lot of them.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 20:54:11 No.17366614
That sounds pretty feasible to me.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 20:54:46 No.17366615
Depends on where you live, but I'd say pretty feasible. I don't know the chance of you having a happy and successful relationship though, but that's not what you're asking.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:00:24 No.17366635
Sweet, I just hope there are plenty in the college I'm transferring to.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:01:39 No.17366638
Being creepy is not a guy thing. Being concerned about creepiness is a girl thing.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:01:46 No.17366639
Just because there are a ton around, doesn't mean that they'll want to date you. And be careful that you don't get labelled as that creepy guy who hits on all the Asians

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:03:00 No.17366642
Are you saying that guys can't be creeped out? Even by other guys?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:04:12 No.17366645
I only need one, so....
I'll try not to be creepy but I'll be honest, if I see a really qt one I'll probably try picking her up.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:06:56 No.17366649
>I only need one
Like I said, I don't know your chances of having a happy and successful relationship with one. If you're just going with the first one who'll date you then I wouldn't say those chances are high though.

I'm just warning you. Don't come back and complain that you're labelled as a creep and weirdo

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:09:22 No.17366658
How can I prevent being known as a creep? It's not like I'm trying to get in bed with them.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:13:46 No.17366672
I feel like the fact that you even have to ask that means you're a lost cause, but whatever. If you keep hitting on Asian girls, you're going to be known as a creep, even if it's just between them and the rest of the university doesn't know about it. Word travels fast among Asian girls

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:16:41 No.17366685
A girl from my class invited me to some party at a nightclub over facebook.
Why the hell would she do that? I have barely even interacted with her, outside of a couple of group assignments and the only reason she is on my friend list is because it helped us to communicate during our assignment.
I barely know her, and I can't see a single reason why she would invite me to some nightclub. Especially when I have stated that I don't drink or go to bars in general.
It can't be some invitation intended for our whole class, because that would have been posted into the group page of our class and it has nothing about this.

What the hell should I do? I got no real interest in going to a god damn nightclub because I find the very idea repulsive, but at the same time, I don't want to be impolite.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:18:02 No.17366688
Because she probably added everyone on her friends list, you autist

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:19:47 No.17366694
Why would anyone do that? People have hundreds of friends on their friendlist, especially girls do.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:22:03 No.17366702
>Especially when I have stated that I don't drink or go to bars in general.
She probably either took pity on you and felt like you were missing out on a lot, or she's the type who feels that trying to get a "virgin" drunk is hilarious entertainment.
Third option is that either she herself or one of her friends finds you cute.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:30:05 No.17366721
>Found a great girl
>Ask her out after a few times seeing her and talking with her (and getting her number), she said yes, but made excuses and no date happened
>Tell her she should just tell me if she doesn't want to date
>She says there are other reasons, maybe she wants to date later, and she is kind of avoiding me since then

Why could she be acting so weird? She's neither with someone, nor dating someone else. I'm not needy or creepy, but i feel like she perceives me as that. I just want to stay friends if she doesn't want to date, because we have much in common, which is rare for me with other people.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:31:28 No.17366728
It's not like I haven't been dragged to a bar or a nightclub before. I have just never enjoyed the experience, nor do I have any desire to get drunk. I have never seen a person to become more fun, or interesting to be around after they have gotten themselves drunk.
I hate how not wanting to waste time and money in an expensive club, getting shitfaced, is seen as abnormal.

Also, no way in hell does she think I am cute. I look fucking disgusting.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:32:43 No.17366734
>She's neither with someone, nor dating someone else
How do you know for sure?
>i'm not creepy

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:34:23 No.17366744
>she hasn't moved on from her ex yet and said yes in an impulse thinking it might help
>she's in love with someone else but wants you as a potential back up option, or she only realized she really liked him after she said yes
>she has personal issues (depression, addiction, caretaking for family member) that make it hard for her to let someone else into her life
>she feels rationally like you should be promising, but feels no chemistry/attraction and is debating whether that will grow
>one of her friends likes you and expressed that to her earlier, but she kind of likes you as well

No doubt there's more options, but I hope this gives you an idea.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 21:50:17 No.17366800
But if she doesn't know that, she could think it's fun to give you/witness your first time.

Getting drunk isn't about being an improved version of yourself, but rather about losing inhibitions and feeling relaxed and more at ease with yourself. Like a mental little vacation from your sober mindset and way of seeing things. But it's definitely not for everyone. I think the feeling of being drunk is okay (though I mostly become sleepy and sentimental) but it's not worth it how groggy and shitty you feel the next day. And when I get together with people I very much like being able to talk to them normally.
If you feel no desire to get drunk then that's fine and your liver will be grateful. However I would strongly recommend that you do not share these stances. No one likes being judged for what they enjoy doing.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 22:33:32 No.17366909
In desperate need of help here femanons. I'm about to turn 25 and I'm still a virgin. I've only had one thing that could loosely be termed a relationship. Whenever I realize a girl is interested in me, or an opportunity presents itself, I just shutdown mentally. I don't know what to do about it.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 22:57:29 No.17366977
has anyone of you guys ever cured themselves of deathgrip?
dating a guy for two weeks now, had sex a few times and i only managed to make him come in me (condom) once by riding him at full power. in hindsight i hope his orgasm was real.
the other 3-4 times he jerked it himself and oh boy he wasn't gentle to himself.
stimulation isn't a problem, he convincingly seems to enjoy it a lot, precum and all.

The condom of course doesn't help and I don't want to make him uncomfortable 2 weeks in by pointing it out but does anyone have any tips?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:01:09 No.17366988
Tell him to stop wanking for a month. Promise a reward or something. Tell him if he doesn't wank at all for a month, you'll buy a pill and let him cum inside you sans condom. Paint it as your idea, rather than "I noticed you deathgrip your dick, so here's a solution." Just go with "I had an idea..."

I don't care how fucking hard you grip your dick, you're not making it out of a month's buildup.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:06:11 No.17367010
I fucking love that cat.

Nigga needs to stop wanking, seriously. He is not a pornstar...

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:07:18 No.17367017
Question for females:
What is it about the girls that are the touchy-feely types? The ones that likes to touch you and be around you? I know a girl who I've never said a word to but out of the blue she started talking to me a lot and even rested her head on my shoulder at one point. She also asked for my number but we only texted for like 5 seconds and that was it. She would literally not text me unless I do. I thought she was showing interest in me bit it turned out that she didn't like me. She said she "definitely would've told me" if she did. Why do females do these things? It really fucks with me.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:11:57 No.17367030
I have a similar problem to your boyfriend, and the solution really does seem to be stopping/reducing masturbation. I masturbate once a week with the most gentle grip I can, and it's slowly making things better. I still can't cum with my gf, but it's inching closer, and her play on my cock feels better each time. I've been trying to masturbate with a condom on too, since it's a real obstacle for me.

Also, make sure you're communicating with him both as a way to make your relationship better, but also to make yourself feel better. When this problem reared its ugly head, my girlfriend thought it was her being unattractive. It's not. Dicks are ridickulous. Talk to him and he should talk to you about how you can help, but also about how it's not your fault and that you're still great and that he's still having a great time.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:12:43 No.17367032
Ask how often he beats it. If it's everyday then he should be able to cum after waiting 2 or 3 days. Maybe he has a fetish?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:12:59 No.17367033
Girls or guys, just looking for a little advice

I'm trying to talk to my girlfriend at some point today about being more dominant in our sex play sometimes. We both switch and I think she's ok with domming (we had a big discussion once where I apologized for doubting that she did, that's not fair) but she kind of doesn't often....follow through?

When I dom her, I get really into the role and we have fun. We play for about 30 minutes or a bit less. I spank her, I command her, we enjoy ourselves, have a finale, and then we sink into a bliss of aftercare and she feels relaxed and relieved after.

When she doms me, things are shorter. She's commanding, but I never really get the commands that I crave. It usually boils down into her straddling me and pinning me. I love it, but that's basically it? When we finish up, to me it doesn't feel like a finish, it feels like we trail off. I don't get that aftercare bliss that she does because I feel like I barely need aftercare based on what we did!

For her, the appeal of being dominated is being cared for and desired and relieved of the stresses that get her on the daily. I've been very stressed lately and I could really use the same kind of care.

I get that the answer to this is "Talk to her!" but can anyone help me figure out how to frame this? Sometimes I'll get frustrated and my thoughts will turn to her lying to me about being dominant herself, and I don't want that. I dunno. When I see her curled up after we finish playing, looking relaxed and almost glowing, I feel a little jealous and left out.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:22:15 No.17367062
Girls: Does a young guy who believes in monogamy turn you off?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:31:01 No.17367078
Girls :

What's better, beard ? or no beard ?
Also, what do you feel when you look at my picture, what do you assume about me ?
What can i do to be more good looking ? (losing weight appart, i'll do it soon)

I want to know how i'm percieved by the other gender, thanks a lot in advance for the help !

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:32:20 No.17367079
Young as in younger than me? I think being as close in age as possible is ideal. My SO is technically younger than me but only by 4 months and I think it's perfect.

As for the monogamy part, that's absolutely ideal. The opposite of a turn-off.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:34:25 No.17367084
What do you want her to do exactly?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:34:25 No.17367085
hmm i think you should continue your good work, i was kind of like that (less, to be honest) with my previous gf, after 4-5 try she did made me cum and after that it went better, so you're on the right path !

no, not really, for an unknow reason, i don't find them creepy, they don't make me uncomfortable.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:35:03 No.17367087
Hey femanons. I realize this kind of is mentioned in the OP, but it's been bothering me so I think I will ask it here.Last summer I had a relationship with a 9/10 girl I worked with. We had a few dates, they didn't go well. Find out there is another guy. Figure that's over.

> be me working retail for summer
>go into work
> girl is on shift
>"anon, I have a boyfriend"
> oh joy
> starts being very rude and obnoxious, insulting me
> ask her why she being this way
> "what way?"
>later asks me to come help her with a pallet
>get caught with customer
>After finishing with customer, go to help her
>"Go fuck yourself anon"
>later try to console her, apologize for not coming sooner
> before she leaves "looks like someone is closing by themselves tonight" very loudly
To this very day I don't know what was going on here

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:38:54 No.17367094
Be more demanding or forward in what she wants. Usually her style seems to be "pin him and kiss him, then let him go" when I'd like her to pin me, tell me what to do, have me do it, talk to me in a commanding way, and then finish up the play.

Basically, I want a more complete experience like I give to her as a dom. If I could pull a switcheroo on us in the fantasy that was just enacted last weekend, with me subbing and her domming, I'd be in heaven.

I dominate the hell out of her, and I want her to dominate the hell out of me instead of being less involved with it like I feel she is now. Does that make sense?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:39:31 No.17367099
To Girls:

I hang with a girl out and she tells me often about the guys she has rejected recently. Why does she do it? Is she trying to make me jealous or as a hint to fuck off and don't try anything?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:40:47 No.17367102
You just gotta jerk it less. Used to be quite the fan of distributing free literature multiple times per day and it made climaxing through regular coitus difficult.

Doing it less and more gently after a couple months cold turkey fixed me up pretty good.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:41:33 No.17367105
just ignore her, she's just a cunt who don't deserve your attention.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:45:09 No.17367111
There's a guy that keeps asking me out (well he invites me to go for a drink, i guess thats a date?) but never actually makes a move and has even told me he's not interested in being in a relationship/having a gf. Honestly I don't get what this dude's thinking, should I make a move instead?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:45:35 No.17367113
Yes, but what I'm trying to get at is you formulating very very specific requests. That way you'll be able to tell her clearly "this is exactly what I want" and then she will be able to do it. You can't expect her to read your mind, so you gotta tell her exactly what you want for her to do it.

So telling her "I want you to be more dominating" is a good start, but you need more. "I'd love it if you commanded me to eat you out" or "I want you to spank me", for example.

You've gotta be able to give her specific direction.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:47:11 No.17367121
Guy here.

That really sounds alot like when they used to put heads on pikes as a warning and shit.
I wouldn't.

I'd consider it a warning not to ever ask her out, ever.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:48:35 No.17367127
Anything for this?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:57:41 No.17367153
Riiiight. That makes sense anon. I actually study human behavior, and I was kind of forgetting that one of the biggest rules is that you need to have a very specific definition of a behavior. I just didn't know if that might come off as being controlling myself? I want her to feel in control in whichever ways make her feel comfortable or just suit her personal style.

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:58:35 No.17367157

How would you handle a relationship with a guy who has a very attractive female roommate who is a very close friend of his? Let's say there are no signs of anything sexual between them or flirting.

And, just for fun, would you date a guy who employs a distant ex of his as his secretary?

Anonymous 2016-07-17 23:58:47 No.17367158

Sissy guys, sure.

You can be wary of someone that you percieve as a threat, possibly because they're violent, which puts on edge

Thats the closest to "Creepy" I can think of

Anonymous 2016-07-18 00:04:27 No.17367173
I would probably say im okay with it but inside id be pretty jealous/suspicious.

I wouldnt give a shit.

Anonymous 2016-07-18 00:05:55 No.17367178
He said hes not interested so why do you think you can make a move? Maybe he just wants to hang out.

Anonymous 2016-07-18 00:11:49 No.17367192
Yeah I guess, I was over thinking it, guess it's that simple

Anonymous 2016-07-18 00:12:51 No.17367196

She's showing off, on a pussy power trip

>Look at how desireable I am!

Anonymous 2016-07-18 00:18:58 No.17367214
pls respond

Anonymous 2016-07-18 00:27:09 No.17367239
Personally i prefer no beard. You look like a normal approachable guy. I look like a genuinely nice person. As a guy, theres not much you can do to be more attractive. Theres generally only 3 things a guy can improve physically
>hair: looks fine
>weight: start lifting but you said you're already working on it
>clothes: wear nice clothes.

Anonymous 2016-07-18 00:35:54 No.17367270
ok thanks a lot :)

I'm already lifting, since a long time, but never watched my diet, so i have this husky body with some muscles that, in all honesty, don't find attractive.
I've never done anything at all with my beard, so i wanted to try and let it grow and see if it look good on me, and for the hair, i have some thick kind of curly arabic hair, it's a pain in the ass to have a good haircut, i'm actually letting my hair grow on the top and see if i can have a pompadour haircut...

Anyway, thanks for your contribution :)

Anonymous 2016-07-18 00:38:13 No.17367278
Pls no

Anonymous 2016-07-18 00:40:52 No.17367288
yeah sorry, i'm european and we use emoticons a lot in my country.

Anonymous 2016-07-18 00:50:12 No.17367306
Sorry i meant
>you* look like a genuinely nice person
Yeah experiment with your style, you dont have a bad face

Anonymous 2016-07-18 01:35:18 No.17367445
Girls and guys

Have you ever felt hurt to the point that you get upset/angry/sad when you see the picture of the person you care deeply about who hurt you?

Anonymous 2016-07-18 01:38:51 No.17367451
The picture isn't necessary; I'm still fucking angry all the time.

Anonymous 2016-07-18 01:45:45 No.17367460
my GF's ex messaged her today asking how she's been. she always says how he was an arsehole and regrets even dating him. I asked her if she was going to ignore him and she said 'if its a convo i will but not if its important idk'. I asked how it could possibly be important, to which she replied 'idk'. I'm not sure how to interpret this and her reaction. also would it seem untrustworthy if i asked her if she ignored? i'd be annoyed if she replied

Anonymous 2016-07-18 01:45:52 No.17367461

Anonymous 2016-07-18 01:46:47 No.17367464

Anonymous 2016-07-18 01:48:28 No.17367470

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:24:34 No.17367573
I can't get continuation from women after dates. Last two women I've seen, the dates went well: no lull in conversation, lots in common, they genuinely seem to like me. Both dates also ended in sex. However, both times they stop texting and I'm left thinking wtf went wrong. I have to much pride to keep texting when I don't get responses so I'm my thoughts are just churning in my head. And before it's mentioned, the sex wasn't bad at all, I don't claim to be a sex god but I know when my partner is enjoying it.

I never had this problem when I was younger, but now that I'm on the other side of 25 and out of a long relationship, it's starting to get to me.

Any thoughts? Thanks

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:28:48 No.17367585
Girls, I'm a little confused here. In a good way, probably.

For a few months I've been involved with this girl. She's introverted and not very romantic, but still very close. She never acknowledges when I try to be flirty, she deflects compliments and kindness, she gets all technical and logistic when I ask her out, and most of the time she gives little to no response to things I tell her about my life or day. Plans we make fade away due to her getting ill (which happens a lot even without making plans)
She usually gives serious and to-the-point answers to my usually unserious texts which makes me think I bore her, yet her texts keep coming. She hits me up almost daily, makes plans with me, sends pics of whatever happened to her, and in person she's comfortable enough to have zero personal space around each other and fall asleep with her head on my lap while I'm stroking her hair.

I don't get it. I thought people in relationships were supposed to be all flirty, loveydovey and endless laughter around each other. We're just comfy, I think. I don't get it. We're not official, never got physical or romantic and never even brought dating up, but it doesn't feel like we're just friends. She's the girl closest to me by far, and I'm pretty sure there are no similar guys in her life either.

Doesn't feel like I'm doing this right, though. Yet we're still this close. How is this even possible? I'm physically average and don't feel like I have anything special to offer mentally. She probably should be bored and leave me alone or something, but she isn't and doesn't. I just don't get it. Girls, any idea what she sees in me?

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:29:09 No.17367586
>Have you ever felt hurt to the point that you get upset/angry/sad when you see the picture of the person you care deeply about who hurt you?

Not worth the energy.
If a person makes you that upset and takes THAT much effort out of you, just don't deal with them. Period.

There's a finite amount of emotions you can experience in a day before you get exhausted, choose to use that on positive ones.

Life's too short.

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:36:51 No.17367601

This person didn't intentionally wrong me.. But they did hurt me. She doesn't even know it..

>life is too short

No.. It's too fucking long. I wish was 40 years older than I am right now, so I could be closer to the end. Seriously. I want to shoot myself with the gun I keep loaded by my desk, but I'm worried if I shoot myself I'll go to hell.

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:37:46 No.17367604
You seem like a nice guy who is actually interested in her for who she is. Thats probably what she sees in you.

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:38:56 No.17367610
Is this a man?

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:41:38 No.17367618

Show more pictures

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:43:23 No.17367623

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:43:44 No.17367624
Looks like she doesn't know how to take a proper picture.
I think her mouth makes it look ambiguous; she should be smiling fully.

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:45:05 No.17367627

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:45:18 No.17367629
No way

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:45:33 No.17367631
I take it back, looks like a trap.

Anonymous 2016-07-18 02:46:23 No.17367632
I can't quite put my finger on it, but their face just doesn't look quite right...

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