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/adv/ Advice

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Anonymous 2013-01-19 20:49:22 No.11497380

[Missing image file: Dr. House Not Happy.png]

aight, i could do with some insight on this
(warning this might be long)
inb4 lol its just a ldr, just break it off, already considered, i'll only do that when theres no other way
>april 2012
>meet girl a online playing the same vidya
>get quite close, meet up, have sex all good
>meet girl b through girl a, not interested (both play the same online game i do), ignore her most of the time
>things with girl a start getting worse and worse, decide ive had enough break off contact
>june 2012
>start talking to girl b more and more, she tells me girl a told her shes met a new guy who lived closer to her and fit better
>girl b's bf breaks up with her after having cheated on her a few tims
>talk more and more, spend more and more time together
>this goes on for a couple of months
>october 2012
>kinda start sexting, start off with the "/tickle" "/slap" bullshit, you know the drill
>sexting gets kind of intense, every day for 2-3 hours, also spend pretty much the rest of the day together
>week into it she comes up with the "what are we doing here" talk, saying she doesnt want anything serious how shes still in tears when she sees something that reminds her of her ex
>tell her its alright but we shouldnt spend that much time together which makes her quite sad
>dont have much contact for a few days
>thing just develop and a few days later we're back to spend most of the day together and sexting aswell
>talk about sexual stuff quite alot, talk about both our sex fantasys, shes rather submissive, i tell her im kinda into easy bdsm / outside stuff which turns her on aswell
>i suggest watching porn together whilst in skype
>she hestitates at first but does it
>watch a pornclip and both jerk off after the clip whilst beeing on skype
>neither of us have done sexting nor jerking off whilst in skype before
>this goes on for 2 months, feel like we're getting somewhere


>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 20:49:55 No.11497385
>>11497380
cont.
>she tells im the first guy who she could openly talk about her sexual feelings, tells me shes never had a orgasm during sex
>things go on as usually
>one day she was going to bed but stays in skype with me, she falls asleep, i mind my business (put skype output on speaker so id hear her when she wakes up)
>she randomly kind of wakes up, is all sleepy and asks me if im there, thought she'd be having a bad dream or something so i reply yeah im here its all good i protect you, she lets out a happy-released sigh and falls back to sleep again
>background info about her: shes had an abusive mother, she moved out at 15, shes also had a abusive control freak exbf who she met in the the town she lived, but who lived 5-6 hours away
she went to visit him and he forced her to have sex with her, violently abused her (punched her when she didnt do what he wanted her to do) due to him locking her in when he was out to work she apparently ended up staying there for a few weeks
because she was too scared to do anything, he wouldnt even let her make a phone call alone
anyways
>kinda talk about meeting up, talk about stuff we'd do to each other etc
>next day she says "distance between us isnt ever going to change" (we live 10hrs apart)
>i reply with "i understand you're scared because of your past, but im not like that.. and for the distance part well.. when theres a will theres a way."
>she says "im scared of losing you, couldve developed into more under different circumstances"
>i reply "thought we were getting somewhere recently, purely hypothetical if we ever meet and we both get along aswell as we do on here, there'd be nothing holding me where i live right now
>she says "you dont whats going on in my life right now..im not as strong as i pretend to be, maybe things can develop.. maybe things change but i'd have to let things happen"

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 20:50:31 No.11497391
>>11497385
cont.
>"im kind of in a swamp right now.. there are a few things you dont know about me..thing with my ex (the one who abused her) then i decide to trust someone and he betrays me (relating to her last bf who cheated on her)
>"how can i let someone in my life when i currently cant even really cope with my own life and im too scared to trust someone deeply
>tell her "i could support you.. id be there for you.."
>she replys "thats what everyone in my life has said so far, and in the end everyone walked away.."
>she then told me about the "reason" shes gotten a dog 2yrs ago, shes had a breakdown shortly after her abusive exbf and wanted to kill herself but couldnt do it
>go on as usually after that, spend most of the day together, jerking off on skype etc
>december 2012
>i stop playing the online game we both play for 2 weeks (spend most of the time playing together)
>we kinda grow abit distant, have less contact, have fights more often etc
>fights get worse, more distance
>during one fight i say "doesnt make any sense talking to you right now."
>she says "you know what? maybe we shouldnt talk then at all."
>i reply "well if thats what you want.. im not going force myself upon you" (that was utterly retarded, i know)
>her "neither...im not goign to bother..its pointless anyways"
>me "see ya."
>her "think about your attitude towards me .. seriously"

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 20:51:05 No.11497397
>>11497391
>next day she initiates and apologizes, i dont, tell her i dont want to lose her
>weeks pass,we talk weekly, shes spending time with different people
>end of december i ask her whats going on
>her "what about it" (sorry, initial conversation wasnt on english, best translation i can come up with)
>me "im worried.. we're getting more and more distant.."
>she doesnt respond
>next day i say "whats the matter? i suppose its because of christmas? (shes told me its not her most favorite time of the year due to her family problems, also her mum having bday near christmas) i dont know whats so hard about just telling me you need time for yourself
>her "are you kidding me? you were like that the last weeks and now you're starting that crap again.. i have to be arround the rest of my family everyday right now..what am i supposed to say? im just sick of it
>i respond with a wall of text basically saying im just worried, i know i was wrong etc spilling my feelings
>no response from her
>few days later without hearing anything from her, i write another wall of text telling her all the things i like about her what i miss about her etc asking her if we can somehow go back to how our relationship once was
>her "im not good at writing currently..ive put the problem between us aside because its too burdening between other things..hope you can understand that.. maybe we should do a little break and move towards each other again..thats all i can say right now.. should be understandable that i cant run after someone (me) whilst having enough other problems.."
>few minutes after i read it she asks me if i hate her now, i say "its alright, maybe it'll help us get closer again" she agrees
>have no contact for a week, i start playing the vidya we used to play again

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 20:51:43 No.11497403
>>11497397
>she initiates a few times, talk abit, blocks when i asks her anything personal
>been like that for 3 weeks now, we talk every now and then, and maybe spend time with each other like once a week.. everytime i try to talk to her about anything personal she either locks up or just ignores me, also been a month since we've been on skype
>week ago i tried talking to her about it, convo went like this:
>me "do you think we will be as close as we once were?"
>her "who knows :) but its not that bad right now isnt it?
>me "not bad but not good either"
>her "why?"
>me "when you compare it to what it once was.."
>her "we dont fight right now so i dont know"
>me "true, we dont fight.. but we dont anything else though.. i wont be happy like this in the long run"
>her "we spend time with each other every now and then, we talk every now and then.. what else?"
>me "so you're happy how it is right now?"
>her "of couse it could be better.. do you want to risk a fight? i dont want to fight anymore.."
>me "no.. i dont want to fight"
>her "why force something that might develop?"
>me "i dont want to force anything, i wanted to talk about it because i have doubts"
>her "why? whats bothering you?"
>me "we have contact again and we dont fight.. i like that .. but im scared nothing will develop, and it kind of seems to me like you're happy how things are right now"
>her "its annoying me how you're always trying to foce things"
>me "im not i miss our time and im worried it'll ever be like that again"
>her "better than no contact and seperated ways"
>me "well.. we'll see how thats going to develop"
>been a week since that convo, we've just been having the casual chat every few days everytime i try to talk to her about something she just locks up and ignores me
>now im not exactly sure what to do here..cutting off contact would be the least thing i'd want to do especially when its not even necessary
i was thinking about just asking her if theres a way to fix the distance between us

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 20:53:09 No.11497420
>>11497385

she randomly kind of wakes up, is all sleepy and asks me if im there, thought she'd be having a bad dream or something so i reply yeah im here its all good i protect you, she lets out a happy-released sigh and falls back to sleep again

That is so lame. How old is she?

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 20:54:08 No.11497425
>>11497420
21, im 24

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 20:57:38 No.11497447
>>11497425

These are the kind of arguments you have after years of living together, not a few months of talking to each other over the internet. You have no idea how stupid what you just wrote sounds.

Move on, meet someone who lives closer and concentrate on developing a real relationship, not a dramatic online fling with a girl who clearly has mental health issues. This will not end well.

Also, chances are she is exaggerating or lying about her past experiences...it may have happened, but I wouldn't assume she's being totally truthful. She sounds like a bit of a drama queen.

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 21:11:50 No.11497515
>>11497447
>>11497447
i know.
im usually pretty skeptical about everything but the fact that i basically had to make her tell me about her past exp makes me believe part of what she said about her past, of course she could be exaggerating who knows
the point is, i have already considered just breaking things off and moving on but i dont want to do that..not yet at least
im came here because i dont know how to make things good between me and her again
i know she has some mental health issues, but i dont mind that.. afterall i'd like to support her
but right now she doesnt seem to let me "near" her

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 21:28:32 No.11497580
shameless selfbump

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 21:58:03 No.11497699
Yeah I agree with the other anon. Forget this relationship and get a real one. This isnt a real one and it never will be because she doesnt want it to be. Seriously it just sounds like a romantic movie gone full retard.

>>
Anonymous 2013-01-19 22:24:58 No.11497898
anyone else?







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