196 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: 1340168725935.png]
Starting it off with some oldie-but-goodie recycling.
>look at myself in the mirror one day and decide to change
>lose 120lbs, start gaining muscle
>co-worker notices and asks me “hey anon, how did you lose all the weight? Did you take pills? Or was it just something the doctor prescribed?”
>me: “actually neither, I looked at my diet and cut out all the crap food and replaced it with healthy and nutritious food. Was surprisingly easy once I made that change over”
>her: “well just thank the lord for giving you the ability to change, I wish I could change. It’s a shame I’ll never be thin”
>me: “wait what? Anyone can do it. Literally just stop eating a load of bad food and start exercising more”
>her: “oh I can’t exercise, I have a bad knee. I wish I could though”
>me: “well go swimming then, very little load on the joints there. That’ll help you lose the weight”
>her: “oh no because then people will judge me and judge my body. Also it’s waaay to difficult! tee-hee”
>me: “so what if people judge you? You think people didn’t laugh and mock me while I was running down the street? When I couldn’t finish a small hill while cycling because I had already ridden 40-50 miles before? It doesn’t matter what other people say, just stick to a diet and know that in a couple of years time you’ll look better than they ever will”
>her: “oh you make it sound so easy! You really do have good genes don’t you! I’m hoping my doctor will prescribe me some diet pills next time I go”
18 more posts in this thread. [Missing image file: ath_seth_feroce_arms.jpg]
Oh god, /fit/ what have i done
>be 16 in highschool
>Betafag virgin, very few friends
>New girl in school
>6/10, frizzly hair and really long legs,
>Everyone makes fun of her, calling her "Birdy" "big Bird" "Bird Legs" etc
>See her at lunch one day all by herself, even i have friends to sit with
>Feel really bad to her
>Build up my courage and sit with her
>We get to talking
>Turns out we have a lot in common
>We keep in touch and eventually begin dating
>Lose my virginity to her, feelsgoodman.jpg
>My new relationship makes me more confident about life
>Begin working out more, eating more properly
>Begin to expand my circle of friends, feel cooler and cooler
>However my gaining in population means my gf begins to drag me down
>Everybody starts telling me "Why are you dating Birdlegs?" or "I can't believe you go out with that birdy girl"
>Stupidly listen to them cuz i'm an arrogant male teenager
>Decide to break up with her
>Break up with her via text
>We get in a huge fight
>She mentions that she's been there for me since I was a loser
>Blow her off and say i don't like her anymore
>She calls me crying, I have none of it and hang up
>Feel like a boss for dumping the only girl who liked me
>Next day come to school feeling chipper
>Everyone's got their heads hung and looking somber
>Few girls are crying
>Wonder what's going on
>Friend walks up to me and tells me "I'm really sorry"
>Sorry about what?
>You didn't know?" He says somberly "I thought you of all people would've heard first..."
>Heard about what fucking tell me
>"I thought everyone had heard...about the Bird"
>Bird bird bird
>Bird is the word
>Don't you know about the Bird?
>Well Everyone knows the bird is the word
>Papa ooh mow mow Papa oo mao
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>doing health and safety exam
>crash dummy lying on the floor and guy grading me sitting on a chair nearby
>me: scene safety ?, *tapping the dummy on the shoulder* "hello, hello, can you hear me" ?,
>ask the examiner if there is anybody around that I can get to call 911.... no response
>ok...pretend there is, "you there call 911 and tell me how long they're going to be, and stay on the line"
>lean down in a position to check if the dummy is breathing, [asking the examiner] "is he breathing?", no response..
>..go to check the dummies pulse; [asking the examiner] any pulse? won't respond...
>Right, "you there, call off the ambulance" *time of death 3:22pm*, "fuck this im outta here.tar.gz"