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/fit/ Health & Fitness

Warning: All the content of this page originally come from 4chan.org. This is only a partial archive made to avoid destruction. Some posts and images may be missing. All the messages below have been posted by anonymous users and we do not guarantee any truth of what they said.
For any illegal content, please contact me so that I can immediatly destroy it!

Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:21:58 No.15404268

[Missing image file: toomuchfeel.jpg]

This just happened to me earlier tonight (I couldn't make this shit up even if I tried).

>be me (fat-but-cutting 6'0 manlet king with nice facial aesthetics and 6 months of lifting under his belt)
>foreveralone permavirgin aspie, and not a care in the world
>walking home at night and sipping on a cola, carefree and oblivious
>passing by a cafe... cute waitress stops me and asks for help... alarms go off, straining to contain all that spaghetti
>I remember /fit/'s advice, look her in the eye, and ask what she wants
>"Hey anon, sorry to bother you, but could you help me roll up these overhead panels? The mechanism's a bit rusty, and I need a hand."
>"S-sure, no problem!" (alpha as fuck, yeah!)
>get to rollin'... she's mirin', can feel her eyes on me... make stupid small talk to contain the tubs of spaghetti breeding in my pockets
>"There, all done!" (look her in the eye again, and smile, fuck yeah, alpha as fuarrrkk!)
>"Thanks anon! Sorry to have jumped you like that." (smiles seductively while mirin' with the intensity of a thousand suns)
>"No problem, happy to help!" (oh god, gotta get out of here, her stare is boring through my skull!)
>"Hey, you wanna come in for a drink? It's on the house!"
>"Uh, n-no t-thanks, I already drank a c-cola!"
>her shoulders sag, she's disappointed... "Oh, ok. Come back tomorrow, then?" (smiles again, hopeful)
>I turn around like a faggot, and flee... "Bye!" (I swear to god I almost said "You too!")

Walking home, I remember what /fit/ told me, and decide to leave the fucking cacoon and act like a man. I go back, make up some bullshit excuse, and we talk for almost two hours. She's funny, perky, cute, but also happily married, and was just being nice to me earlier.

Oh god, so many feels... Can't deal with all the feels! I'm sorry, cacoon, I'll never leave you again!!!


>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:25:08 No.15404336
Whoa, calm down bro...your gonna need to go the ER to get those feelers lanced.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:28:49 No.15404417
>be 18
>In college
>7/10 girl comes over to table where me and my friend are sat
>"You have really nice eyes"
>me: "u-uh t-thank you"
>turn around to my friend
>"'uh... we're late for class"
>Jump up off the table and sprint out of the canteen
>spaghetti spweing everywhere

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:36:47 No.15404565
>>15404417
are u me?

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:37:49 No.15404593
>>15404268
>sipping on a cola

10/10

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:40:40 No.15404650
>>15404268
>inability to discern the difference between when a woman is flirting and being nice.

Autist detected.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:42:18 No.15404687

[Missing image file: whatareyoudoing.jpg]
>>15404268
>cutting
>sipping on a cola
pls go

>>
theprplehaze 2012-10-24 21:43:05 No.15404707
>be 17 at teen club
>going full zyzz mode
>not giving a fuck
>dance off with this girl
>she won but it was inevitable because dat ass
>grab her neck
>pull her in
>decide to alpha as fuck
>"you're cute, you're a great dancer, what's your name?"
>she has a huge smile: "thank you so much, you're an awesome dancer too"
>she looks prime like i should make out with her right on the spot, dat eye contact
>"y-y-ou too"
>side step nervously
>grind on some random 7/10

them feels when i recall her ass and how i coulda had dat fucking ass

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:44:03 No.15404728

[Missing image file: no gf.png]
>"Uh, n-no t-thanks, I already drank a c-cola!"

this is where I actually yelled in embarrassment OP. I feel. feeeeeeeeeeeel

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:44:35 No.15404739
>>15404687
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coca-Cola_Zero

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:44:51 No.15404743
>>15404268
>I remember what /fit/ told me, and decide to leave the fucking cacoon and act like a man.
>thats what fit told you for sure

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:45:30 No.15404757
>I do not communicate with girls
>no story to tell
>feel.bmp

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:48:41 No.15404816

[Missing image file: datfeel.jpg]
>>15404757

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:51:21 No.15404857
6 foot manlet king? Lol oh /fit/.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:52:06 No.15404871
>hey you coming to the party tonight
>no
>why not
>Im going to the gym

did I make the right choice??

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:54:14 No.15404927
>>15404871

Did a girl ask you? Then no.

Did a guy ask you? Then yes.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:55:12 No.15404952
>>15404927
girl

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:55:43 No.15404966

[Missing image file: laugh2.gif]
>>15404739
>implying coke zero deserves to be called cola

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:57:08 No.15404988
More aspie than beta but
>Be at gym in weightlifting class
>Girl I've been hitting on for the past two weeks says she can't do any pull ups
>Too short to even jump to the pull up bar
>Grab her by the hips and lift her up to it
>She does 1 and quits
>Tell her to do it again and tell her I'll help her
>Pick her up and assist by grabbing her legs
>Boner
>Quickly return to my deadlifts, leaving her there

Not sure if she saw the boner but it hurts, /fit/

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:57:51 No.15405002
>>15404871
you already made a thread for that you fucking asspie, and the answer is still no, you fucked up, you looked like an autistic faggot who's always at the gym, which is only going to make you look worse when she notices your nogainz

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:58:26 No.15405011
>>15404966
In Yurop we call all types of coke 'cola'. What else would you call it? 'Coke Zero' sounds like a gay man's sperm discharge.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 21:59:18 No.15405022
>>15404268
>(I swear to god I almost said "You too!")
lol'd

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:00:26 No.15405038
>smile and eye contact with girls wherever I go
>no stutter, no low voice, always sound honest and true
>no gf

I have dem charisma skills. But I have no clue what to say beyond making friends and acquaintances.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:01:20 No.15405049

[Missing image file: rustled_jimmies.jpg]
>>15405002

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:03:04 No.15405077
SO, I straight up texted a girl from work I like that we should do something tommorow because im free, she replies "like what???"


How do I just say cinema casually but firmly, girls like me to decide shit but just getting >opinions

usually good with girls but I got oneitis and dont wanna screw up.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:03:38 No.15405085
>>15404707
I feel your pain, friend.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:04:42 No.15405104
>>15405011

Then why would you drink something that sounds like gay man's sperm discharge?

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:05:06 No.15405108
>>15404988
oh god the erect feels i have known

keep at the lifting bro but regardless of how strong you become, your dick will always beat you in a test of wills

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:05:06 No.15405109
>>15405077
>"Hitting the movies or something. Perhaps grab a quick bite beforehand. [insert relevant movie here] is supposed to be great."

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:05:37 No.15405119
For god's sake OP, just go there tommorow and make up for your bullshit

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:06:24 No.15405127
>>15405104
Lurk a bit more, newfag. Everyone knows sperm gives you mad gainz.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:06:40 No.15405130
>>15405109
this sounds like it'd probably work to me

then again, i'm a 19yo male who's had a gf for the last 2ish years so i'm a bit out of touch with the whole game thing. probably just as qualified as most of those giving advice, though

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:06:54 No.15405133
>>15405077
Pick a specific thing, like a certain restaurant you've wanted to try or a movie that's currently out.

If you find yourself attracted to her after that, have a plan for afterwards that you can suggest to keep things going during the date.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:06:57 No.15405135
>>15404268
You can't possibly be this retarded. Behavior like this should be punished with an ass rape.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:07:15 No.15405139
>>15405011
What the fuck? Either "Coke Zero" or "Zero".

Yes, yuropfag. Yes, even madder.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:07:20 No.15405140
>>15405127

They why do you phrased it like if it were a bad thing? Be proud when you drink cum

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:08:24 No.15405159
itt: underage faggots talking about hoe socially retarded they are and hating high school

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:08:50 No.15405172
>>15405130
Go for it, bro. Nothing to lose, the world to win.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:09:59 No.15405184
>>15405139
>coke zero
>cok sero
>coksero
>cocksero
>cock's hero

Sure, that'll work.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:12:28 No.15405231
>>15405184
no homo.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:14:16 No.15405250

[Missing image file: diddly.jpg]
>>15405184
You've got cocks on the brain lad

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:15:33 No.15405274
>>15405135
You think I enjoy being like this?! I wish I was making this shit up, I really do! Posting it here on /fit/ lets me laugh at myself along with the rest of you, and we at least get some lulz out of the whole trainwreck. That's still 10000% better than thinking about it by myself.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:16:52 No.15405295
>>15405038
r u me?

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:19:50 No.15405339
>>15405002
did that hurt

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:20:34 No.15405355
>>15404988
lol'd
come on dude thats pathetic

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:21:26 No.15405374
>>15404268

wow brah, I dont understand that some people can be this retarded. If I get in a situation like this (what never happens WTF) id say HELL YES lets grab something to eat or something. and pewpew you got either a new friend(who can lead to more pussys) or a new chick.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:23:29 No.15405401
>>15404268

autism/10

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:24:01 No.15405412
>>15405274
go back tomorrow.

>so, how about that drink?

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:26:56 No.15405456
>>15405374
Well, in my defense, she told me to come back any time and have a drink or two (this was after our 2-hour chat). I'll probably do just that, but it's kind of pointless since she's married.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:28:12 No.15405481
>>15405412
read >>15405456

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:30:04 No.15405510
>>15405456

You've made a friend/acquaintance in any case. I wouldn't try to fuck her, that's just dishonourable. She has a husband after all.

If you bring another girl there she'll probably be beneficial (you'll get drinks/attention faster, she might even throw in a compliment saying what a nice guy you are, etc.)

Good job on going back to talk to her, one step closer to social normality, anon.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:33:08 No.15405566
>>15404268
>come back tomorrow
>get laid
>get a gf
>move in with her
>get married
>die

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:33:51 No.15405577
>>15405510
>I wouldn't try to fuck her, that's just dishonourable. She has a husband after all.
Never meant to, honestly. I cooled off the instant she told me she's married. But yeah, having female friends can be beneficial, even without sex involved.

>Good job on going back to talk to her, one step closer to social normality, anon.
Thanks. Just a few dozen more situations like this and I'll be able to pass myself off as a normal human being.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:36:33 No.15405619
>>15405077
If you haven't acted yet be alpha, girls like being told what to do not asked say something like " Hey anon, im going to (literally anywhere you want to go) later, you should come with me."
sounds a lot better than "will you go to ___ with me?"

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:37:05 No.15405623
>>15405577

Double-dubs confirm a manly intention for self-improvement.

Godspeed You! Anon

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:41:01 No.15405691
>>15405623
Why don't you comment on these dubdubs >>15405566

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 22:43:46 No.15405733
>>15404593
made me lol for some reason

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:04:51 No.15406024
>>15405733
there's something really gay about that mental image. n-no homo

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:05:14 No.15406028
>>15405619

I said "Lets go to the cinema, theres something I wanna see".

She says "Im skint"

fuck I give up, fucking hate oneitis, I just suck at texting and mail, but once I meet irl on a date I rock and always get a girl to like me, just getting them to meet and not flake is where I fucking SUCK. so depressing

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:13:33 No.15406160
>>15406028
Text her this:
"Was hoping you'd tag along, but ok. Guess I'll just have to take [insert female friend's name here!] instead. Oh well."

...or something along those lines. Bishes love it when you show that you're dominant and that you don't care. Those two things together are like catnip to them. Try it, I'm betting she'll text you 2-3 days later and ask how your evening went! :D

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:15:49 No.15406191
>>15405274

I can't help but feel bad for you. I didn't laugh, my balls began to ache and I cried. I wish the best for you and if it makes you feel any better, dating men is a lot easier than dating women. Try going homo.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:17:54 No.15406223
>be fooling around with gf in my bedroom
>she wants me to stand up, pick her up, and then fuck her (so basically lift her up and down on my dick while standing)
>be really wimpy
>barely able to hold her full weight, let alone lift her up and down my dick
>thankfully it only took me 20 seconds to cum so it was ok

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:19:27 No.15406246
>DEAR DIARY

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:20:28 No.15406263
>>15406160
said "aight, going with some friends from college instead, enjoy your day"


not gonna text her ever first now, I just dont get how she can go from finding me hot to not wanting to hang out, I know if i got her alone I could get her wanting me as fuck.

>>
sage 2012-10-24 23:21:51 No.15406284
>Highschool
>8/10 girl comes up and says "You look like the bassist off of green day, I think he's hot."
>"Thanks"
>Sit in silence for a few minutes until she leaves.

>Same girl, another time
>"You look hot when you eat"
>"Thanks"
>Silence

FUCK I hate who I used to be. Also, I don't like Green Day and look nothing like the bassist.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:23:45 No.15406305
>>15406284 You look hot when you eat
>she wants you to eat her pussy

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:25:02 No.15406326
>>15404268

>tfw you read OPs story and when you get to the line -
>"Thanks anon! Sorry to have jumped you like that." (smiles seductively while mirin' with the intensity of a thousand suns)
>you scream at your computer 'TELL HER " CAN JUMP ME ANYTIME!!!!!!!!!!"'
>and OP doesn't deliver
>tfw

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:28:12 No.15406383
>>15406223
face a wall, put your palms up against it

her legs are resting on your arms and her arms are around your neck

i did this when i was a skinnyfat 85lb bench press pussy, easy as shit bruh

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:38:27 No.15406592

[Missing image file: 1299555144997.jpg]
>In math class
>See 7/10, decide, after much internal debate, that its my mission to approach her
>"Hey our teacher is really lame, huh?" Immediately realize how dumb that sounds
>She responds with "yeah..."
>oh and im anon
>she says "yeah well my class is right here" she walks into a unlit room ten minutes before any classes start
>That crushing defeat

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:40:20 No.15406642
>>15406592
Are you fat/ugly/short/smelly/poor? If so, then you can rest easy since it wasn't your fault.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:41:05 No.15406660

[Missing image file: 1345773894017.jpg]
>>15406592
that's actually pretty funny

>>
otter to t-rex 2012-10-24 23:41:18 No.15406667
>>15406223
I do that to all my gf's or one nighters, they go nuts are you from nj ?

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:43:23 No.15406708
>>15406592
read that as

>in meth class

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-24 23:50:49 No.15406842
I've held this girl's hand every day for a week,

and I still get a boner.

At least I have you, squats.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-25 00:03:13 No.15407109
>>15404988
>be 19
>get a summer job at my moms office workplace
>lunch break, join mom's "kickboxing" class (shit is just intense cardio, abs, and calisthenics)
>22 year old 8/10 coworker goes too
>she's short, has datass in yoga pants
>dark hair, light skin, HUGE tits in lowcut tanktop
>so large she has to hold them in place with one arm across her chest while doing jumping jacks
>while doing oblique crunches, her top tit is heavy enough to make the other tit bulge over her shirt twice as much
>mirrors on every wall, cannot look away if you tried
> she works out in barefeet, has her perfect toes painted bright pink most days
>always asks me to assist her with pullups
>holding her knees from behind
>soles and ass alternatingly rub against my crotch
>3x10, everyday, the whole summer
>I very quickly learned to wear boxer briefs to work

I'm working there again this year

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-25 00:05:32 No.15407148
>>15407109
you lucky son of a bitch!

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-25 00:07:30 No.15407188
>>15407109
That crotch rubbing is on purpose
They are very fucking aware of these kind of tricks

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-25 00:42:06 No.15407882

[Missing image file: 1323291227878.png]
>get paired up with 6/10 qt girl
>working with her, everything I say making her laugh
>she smilin' and def merlin
>after class she goes up to see the prof
>i tap her on the shoulder
>"be sure to get the assignment done"
>>"Yeah haha"
>"y-you too"
How I do? I couldn't think of anything else to say without being awkward as fuck, so I said the most awkward thing that came to mind.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-25 00:46:30 No.15407956
>>15407882
should've offered your help on assignments instead

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-25 00:51:33 No.15408059

[Missing image file: buff dino.png]
>>15407956
Yeah I know, but I am a stupid fuck. I don't have this class until next Wednesday, so I think I'll make a move then.
inb4 6/10 would not bang
She's bretty attractive even though DYEL.

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-25 00:59:18 No.15408219

[Missing image file: 1344646674966.jpg]
>>15408059
Dat adam's apple.

Beta story

>>
Anonymous 2012-10-25 01:04:10 No.15408338
>Fat
>she's mirin
I knew this didn't add up right







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