North Korea: "we'll invade America!"
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Holy shit guys I totally turded on my pants i'm shivering right now i don't know if i should go see a doctor because my heart is beating very fast, at this very moment i sweat, i'm drowning in fear, this cannot be, north korea is invading the US? we've gone too far, we've told too many jokes about kim jong un and his haircut, this is what we get. this is doomsday, it's our end. we'll all die in the hands of north korea. america will end. the north korean flag will wave all over our great country. there's no hope. they have fucking nukes. they'll nuke us to death. i'm so fucking scared. i got chills just from reading that and when i read it again its hard for me to breathe. crying, i yelled "mom!!". she ran towards me and my PC station, but when she asked what was wrong and i showed her the headline, she fainted away, shocked with the announcement of imminent catastrophy. now there's no turning back, there's no way to pretend we're canada and say "sorry" to north korea. the american dream will be devoured by their armed forces. our freedoms, our liberties, our very way of life are granted to be forgotten in history. oh, i can already see it. the north korean army taking american cities. their soldiers raping our women and children. their artillery and bombers destroying our most famous landmarks, like the statue of liberty and the alamo. i won't stand witnessing such a pain with my own eyes. right now, i'm unlocking my 1911, the most american handgun ever, and preparing myself to suicide. i don't want to watch as our country is invaded by north koreans. goodbye, /k/, it was good to have met you. now, i must go.