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Can anyone recommend a book that will stop me from falling into absolute misanthropy?
Today I have found out that I am likely infertile due to the soy milk formula I was fed as an infant.
To be brief: I've been poorly treated all my life. My father is an alcoholic and beat me regularly as a child. My mother never loved me. I suffered from extreme pain due to ear infections throughout my childhood, and needed numerous operations. I was bullied for much of my childhood, and for my early teenage years, and was bullied even by some of my teachers. I am ugly, and see my ugliness reflected in the eyes of anyone who looks at me, usually in the form of derision or contempt.
How did I respond to all this? I'll answer without any of the false modesty I've lied to myself with for years. I got on with life. I was polite and kind, and always willing to help others at any cost, because I knew all too well what misery felt like. Many people opened up to me about their deepest personal problems because of this. I never used this information against them for my own gain, and instead used it only to help them.
What has happened today has driven me to the brink. I am beginning to despise humanity. I am beginning to think I should make others share in my misfortune.
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So, I just got out of rehab, not because I needed it, but because a judge thought i should go(even though i have no drug related covictions). i wrote a letter to the program director of the rehab telling her what i thought of the 12 steps then made my own
>1st time in a rehab
>introduce anon, drug of choice, win
>dont understand whats going on and a little nervous about sharing
>finally share after 2 weeks of drawing and barely paying attention
>Hi, i'm anon and im not and addict
>don't know its a sin to say you could use will-power to overcome your addiction
>share that i dont think i need the 12 steps
>15 people who failed while using the 12 steps argue with me that the 12 steps are the only way to get sober
>tell them i dont feel powerless
>counselor is listening in on meeting
>counselor is black
>counselor chimps out
>argue with counselor in front of community
>counselor says basically the same thing as the failed 12 steppers
>tell him i'm agnostic
>counselor says use mother nature as my higher power
>tell counselor a rock and tree cant help me stay clean
>get called into the Director of the Programs office
>she says I'm ruining other peoples programs
>tells me 12 steps are the ONLY way to get clean and will-power alone can not, will not, and never has gotten any1 clean
>realize im in a cult
>make my own 12 steps
>write a letter to the Program Director explaining why i dont like the 12 steps
>get it off my chest, never intend to send it
>roomate reads new and improved 12 steps
>shows some1 else
>he makes copies
>passes them out
>realize over 1/2 the people there agree with me
>let them read letter to director
>ruin everyones program
>drop letter on floor
>TA(theraputic Associate) steps on it.
>her fat ass thinks its to a girl so shes jealos
>rip it out from under her feet
>refuse to show it to her
>get written up
>slip copy of letter under program directors door
>leave with a completion
here's the letter
I'll post my version of the 12 steps next to theirs in the replies
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/lit/, imagine for a moment that I'm in highschool, which I'm not. Is this a decent opening to a synthesis essay?
“Everyone belongs to everyone else”: such is the subtle whisper that weasels its way into the dreams of the young in Aldous Huxley’s vision of the distant future, Brave New World. In a sense, in this dystopic world, that pseudo-aphorism rings true - all the fetal conditioning, hypnopaedic training, and the power of sheer convention has molded each individual into an interchangeable, even expendable, part of the society, or, as the elite put it, a utopia. However, is a society where uniqueness is uselessness and uniformity is bliss truly a utopia? Perhaps it is in that it sates the human desire for happiness - even the Deltas seem happy - but, as Immanuel Kant put it, happiness is not an ideal of reason, but of imagination. It is unlikely that the World State, as this political zeitgeist is referred to by its inhabitants, would stand up to, say, an invasion of some sort, or an intellectual rebellion from within - in fact, it is certain that the society as a whole will eventually be crushed beneath the weight of both external and internal pressures.
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Forgive me for being a pleb, /lit/, but how am I supposed to read this?
I think I get that it's supposed to capture the sensation of a drug addict blundering through life in a barely-sane haze, or something, and I respect that enough to keep reading, but I feel there's a lot of it flying over my head.