Lit Major Falling
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I'm dropping out of college. I have barely even begun. It frightened me too much as someone in there late 20s hanging around 19 year olds. No one to converse with similar ideas and interests. If there is I don't know where they are, I feel too small in the large open campus and too introverted to make my way and sift through the many people wondering about that seem at least moderately happy. Happier and friendlier than I.
Do I travel around the world and write on my own? I can barely leave my house every other day though, its getting worse. How can I have self guidance? I feel like I need people to constantly hold my hand but I have very few of these wonderful people in my life. I don't want people to hold my hand though, independence seems like a far off goal. Not even autistic, I just feel like I am regressing back to child. I don't want to feel lost and scared.
Can someone help? In anyway. What books show a similar situation perfectibility non fiction. And all honesty I just want to read and write but becoming a writer in a world of them seems daunting. Is it okay to think writing will make me happy when in the back of my mind I know it wont. Selfish is what I think of myself when that's all I want. Does medication help? I think if the chemicals in my brain fake me being happy I could actually accomplish something but I do not know. Sorry for the rant I know not personal blog, I have never done this before.