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/mlp/ Pony

Warning: All the content of this page originally come from 4chan.org. This is only a partial archive made to avoid destruction. Some posts and images may be missing. All the messages below have been posted by anonymous users and we do not guarantee any truth of what they said.
For any illegal content, please contact me so that I can immediatly destroy it!

Anonymous 2017-01-20 15:37:24 No.29304920

[Missing image file: ]

Chivalry Edition

Previous thread: >>29294260

>Where men are women, and women are slightly manlier women
>Treat colts with respect
>Trixie's mama raised her right

Also known as "Wish Fulfilment and Sexist Mares general"

For those of you who are new to the thread, RGRE is an Equestria where sexism and stereotypical behaviour of men and women (often exaggerated for the sake of simplicity) and applied to the opposite gender. The type of sexism and gender roles can come from any time period (most popular are ~1950's and roughly modern-day) and can range from "Stallions belong in the kitchen when they aren't in the bedroom" to "Your mare-spreading is oppressing me". In this world, the mare asks the stallion out on a date and will pay for the meal.

GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b1jASUKcbpyp6u1nk0d8m8m_toNwUGSlesl7F1IPa4o/

Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives: http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea

Anonymous 2017-01-20 15:39:16 No.29304924
Be RGRE enough this time, posters.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 15:40:17 No.29304930
(You) aren't my dad!

Anonymous 2017-01-20 15:48:22 No.29304951
>Anon marries a mare who already has a foal
>The foal is as upset as a little kid IRL would be to have a new dad
>"You aren't my real dad!" comes up in arguments a lot
>Anon tries so hard to be

Anonymous 2017-01-20 15:50:21 No.29304959
>>The foal is as upset as a little kid IRL would be to have a new dad

>anon uses the heavy artillery snuggles

Anonymous 2017-01-20 16:01:36 No.29304986
> Anon is slightly chubby, and self-conscious about it
> Ponies like it, because he's nice and soft like them, perfect for snuggles
> They think it's cute that he worries about his weight
> "Well, he is a stallion, after all. You should never ask about a stallion's weight or his age."

Anonymous 2017-01-20 16:20:08 No.29305047
>Gamerpon from previous thread
>Goes to a convention; Anon says that she'll know him when she sees him
>She does
>Slight chub
>Dat ass
>Shy and bashful (aka self-conscious) about his weight
>Archetypical shy, plump nerd girl

Anonymous 2017-01-20 16:25:38 No.29305066
>Anon is also short, clumsy and has thick glasses

Anonymous 2017-01-20 16:55:03 No.29305178
So I just got back from my pretend deployment Kuwait any God stories posted in the last 9 months?

Anonymous 2017-01-20 17:03:23 No.29305206
>gaymerrrrr stereotype
>Not young fit chad who shows up wearing a extremely slutty (in gamepone opinon) cosplay
>It's the only pone character that a wears full suit

Anonymous 2017-01-20 17:28:22 No.29305282
> Writefags wait nervously, hoping their stories are mentioned.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 17:35:51 No.29305301
>tfw you're a writefag and your name has never once been mentioned in any of these "list good stories pls" prompts

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:24:04 No.29305495
This is pretty much accurate. The ponywatch blurb I wrote last thread was originally just a way to shitpost at Durnk because he said 'write what you're thinking about' since I was stuck on something I'd been working on, and I did it in discord to show him it wouldn't work. It ended up posted after bits of advice and tons of pun help. The thread gets more tripless minor content than people realize because of the discord, and it's helped me find direction with my regular projects often.

Also TasteTheNon, I'll contact you today.

Oh neat. People giving me ideas. I was thinking of something along the lines of >>29305206 if I do keep going.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:25:36 No.29305499
golden opportunities by LaP have been updating here. AsSarcasticAsPossible has a good TF story updating right now and OG Mudpone wrote a story about a former pornstar-in-equestria anon babbysitting a horny, horny flurry heart.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:28:30 No.29305507
time to git gud, scrub

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:29:03 No.29305513
Was Anon a PRO Geldji main?

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:32:41 No.29305526
Every genji in QP is a pro genji. The team is just always holding them back.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:35:51 No.29305548
>"The day will last forever!"
>The sun cycle never changes
>It's always day somewhere
>Technically the day lasts forever
Celestia is the most harmless and benevolent villain there is.

>"No! Stop, I'm too hot! You can't cuddle me, you'll get burns and stuff!"
>Celestia feels like she just came out of the clothes dryer

>Something something RGRE

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:37:40 No.29305555
Pussy filling.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:44:21 No.29305581
>>Celestia feels like she just came out of the clothes dryer

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:44:39 No.29305583
>Anon is strange enough that humans gets put into vidya
>He's the strange, alien member of the roster that people can play
>His kit's all weird
>His ult is the Ultimate Shitpost, a global taunt

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:50:39 No.29305620
>Anon is used for their version of the sexy alien chick
>gamerpones everywhere make him their husbando, and fight for his honor

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:52:22 No.29305632
>Shameless wish fulfillment

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:54:10 No.29305640

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:54:11 No.29305641
>not realizing that most greentexts are nothing more then wish fulfillment.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:56:10 No.29305650
At least they try to hide it.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 18:58:57 No.29305656
No they don't. Were you dropped on your head as a child?

Anonymous 2017-01-20 19:01:28 No.29305664
>I have read none of the greens in this thread
this doesn't look like the kind of mature thread for mature posters like yourself

Anonymous 2017-01-20 19:03:55 No.29305676
Kek, RGRE in a post

Durnk anun 2017-01-20 19:05:27 No.29305682
>Celestia feels like she just came out of the clothes dryer
>Celestia gets trapped in the clothes dryer

Anonymous 2017-01-20 19:09:21 No.29305703
This shit right here is why you never let your mares do the laundry. I bet other husbands don't have to deal with this shit.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 19:10:41 No.29305710
>Celestia is all static-y when she comes out of the dryer
>Is trapped in the laundry room because the doorknob keeps zapping her when she tries to open the door and leave

Anonymous 2017-01-20 19:29:57 No.29305787
Nothing wrong with that. Only wrong to reject anything that isn't.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 19:33:08 No.29305802
>Anon is put into vidja
>entire ponynet flips their bits
>constantly REEEEE at the humies on /mlh/
>ponynet ruined forever

Anonymous 2017-01-20 19:39:55 No.29305824
So what? Several greens and writefags rarely get mentioned. It doesn't mean they're not good, if anything there's just too much good content to mention in a single post. Just keep writing and posting.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 19:50:35 No.29305858
>Anon is professional masked wrestler
>The only stallion to ever compete alongside the mares instead of the g-strings-and-mud stallion wrestling league
>Nopony knows his true identity, despite him being the only human
>While he has a large fanbase, a lot of mares feel that having a stallion fight with the mares is a distraction, and that he should get back in the kitchen
>There's a massive bounty on the pony black market to unmask El Cartel de la Mierda and end his career
>Rookie Wrestler Flying Press needs the money, so she takes the job

Anonymous 2017-01-20 20:07:43 No.29305946
>El Cartel de la Mierda
Fucking solid. This deserves to be a full story for this alone.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 20:29:08 No.29306060
>she chases him down after a show
>El Cartel de la Mierda turns a corner
>She finds anon with a mask in his hands looking bewildered
>"What are you doing with that mask?"
"Dunno, he just threw this at me and ran that way."
>She narrows her eyes for a moment
>"And why are you wearing his uniform?"
"I'm a huge fan! He's an inspiration to men everywhere?"
>She can find the truth behind this, she just has to try
>She figures she should ask him something only El Cartel de la Mierda would know
>"Oh really? What's his--"
"Hey, if you catch up with him, do you think you could get this signed for me?"
>Anon gives her puppy-dog eyes
>She bristles, since she can't turn down a stallion asking like that
>"S-sure, I'll get the mask signed for you."
"Thanks! Good luck!"
>She takes it and continues running the way Anon pointed out

Anonymous 2017-01-20 20:41:04 No.29306124
Or, or.
>Anon has a ponewife
>When she's out working, he's either wrassling or doing housework
>Wifey is a big fan of wrestling, and she's surprised one night during a kinky roleplay session how much her hubby looks like her favorite character

Anonymous 2017-01-20 20:46:53 No.29306144
>Celestia feels like she just came out of the clothes dryer
AND smells like it, mmm fresh linens

Anonymous 2017-01-20 20:48:03 No.29306148
Well at least one of the three is good.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 20:50:43 No.29306167
Fucking this!

Anonymous 2017-01-20 20:56:56 No.29306191
>Anon wrassles poner
>She turns ass towards him, cocks her back legs, fires right into his stomach at full force
>Suddenly remembers he's a stallion
>"O-oh my Celestia, are you okay!? I didn't mean-"
>The crowd goes nuts

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:04:34 No.29306223
>Anon is professional wrestler
>All the moves are choreographed well ahead of time
>None of it is real
>And neither is she

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:08:44 No.29306245
In Equestria, both wrestling and your waifu are real. Unfortunately, the only way to get to Equestria is to see John Cena.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:13:43 No.29306260
>El Cartel de la Mierda
My fucking sides.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:17:21 No.29306280

>mares think Anon is THICC and try to sabotage his attempts at losing weight.

OG Mudpone, son of pone fucker 2017-01-20 21:24:10 No.29306308
Ok, so I looked back at the last thread and saw some of the arguing. If I go one way with my story, I piss off /mlpol/ because "your Stockholm syndrome disgusts me," but if I go the other way, I piss off the lonely faggots like myself because I'd be making Anon edgy and abandon Flurry to support the Vox Tauri revolution
Could you guys please find a middle ground so I don't have to piss anybody off?

ay I got mentioned

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:25:59 No.29306318
>they try to hide it

Durnk anun 2017-01-20 21:28:59 No.29306333
Piss everybody off.
You know in your heart this is the correct choice.

John Cena is invisible.

Laundry is effective pony containment.
This is just one of the many reasons that ponies go outside.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:29:36 No.29306337
I mean the revolution seems to have the moral highground here so I don't see how you could cast them as morally neutral.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:32:52 No.29306357
Could you not? How in the hell is it so hard to imagine Anon, the flamboyant pornstar playboy riding off into the sunset on the back of a fucking coup d'etat that he did not plan for, to escape yet another committed relationship? It's a cheesy story that writes itself, but y'all push this fucking political agenda into it

OG Mudpone, son of pone fucker 2017-01-20 21:33:11 No.29306360

shameless pastebin plug in case you care or wanted to read it

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:34:31 No.29306371
Writefags c'mon
Gimmie some green

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:35:22 No.29306378
>Laundry pone containment
This is true. Just look at Celestia. It's probably the first time she's ever even been in a laundry room. Pfft, mares.

OG Mudpone, son of pone fucker 2017-01-20 21:36:00 No.29306380
Well, I'd like the readers to see him as an actual person with feelings instead of a walking penis who just wants to bang bang smash and doesn't care about others (or his) feelings, but y'know what, if you want a cheesy story I'll deliver a cheesy fucking story

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:38:51 No.29306400
>I'd like the readers to see him as an actual person with feelings instead of a walking penis who just wants to bang bang smash and doesn't care about others (or his) feelings

Not making Anon a character who has sex for money could have been a good start to this.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:42:47 No.29306418
I think a good middle ground would be having Flurry follow Anon as he is abducted by the vox, maybe get captured too. The vox bring Anon to their doctor, who is a lot more even-tempered about everything. It may take a while for the doctor to conclude that Anon isn't under the influence of any spell. In that time, Flurry could hear a stallion talk about when he was raped, and realise how uncomfortably close that is to what she did. Eventually, Flurry and Anon reunite, and she asks what he honestly thinks of her, and what she did. The vox may be listening in, or even secretly broadcasting.

That sort of thing, where Flurry realises her crime, and genuinely works towards forgiveness. Not just
> "Sorry I raped you"
"It's alright, I guess I love you after all."
But actual airing of resentment and an establishing of boundaries and Flurry sacrificing to make the relationship work.

It might be interesting if Flurry loses her title as princess.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:43:51 No.29306428
A VERY successful and popular retired pornstar at that. If the Anon he had been writing, WAS a lonely faggot that had no problems being forced married to his rapist like a muslim bride with less life, then it would make sense. Not good sense, but it would.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:44:52 No.29306438
This could also work.

OG Mudpone, son of pone fucker 2017-01-20 21:46:14 No.29306451
I like this idea

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:47:59 No.29306457
Since you asked for the self-shilling,
Principal Celestia is seduced by a (mostly) innocent teen Anon.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:57:00 No.29306499
Is there a list of prompts?

Anonymous 2017-01-20 21:59:15 No.29306514
>Anon decides to change himself for the better, now that he has made it to Equestria
>tries to get /fit/ through some various ways
>cannot get anything done due to suspicious mare activity

"What do you mean the bridge is out of order? I run across it every day?"
>"There, uhhh, was an accident. Yeah, an accident. A carriage was toppled over and the bridge was damaged."
"Dash, that bridge is wide enough for one pony, no carriage is going to try and cross it."
>"O-oh yeah, and what do you know about carriages? You're just a colt!"

Would read

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:00:37 No.29306523
>implying Dash wouldn't be one of the ones trying to get him fit and athletic like her

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:01:39 No.29306527
>implying she wouldn't want a thiccer husbando
Mares ain't dogs, they don't dig bones

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:04:50 No.29306543
"Oh well."
>Anon proceeds to use bridge few km upstream.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:10:15 No.29306564
>wanting a FATT girl
>not wanting a fit girl

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:12:32 No.29306576
>Mares ain't diamond dogs; they don't dig bones

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:12:33 No.29306578
>Mares shove food towards him throughout the day so he doesn't become 'toned'

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:13:42 No.29306584
>that pic
ow my autism

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:18:16 No.29306604
>Not just swimming across

HerdAnon 2017-01-20 22:21:34 No.29306628
>Be Anon.
>You just woke up.
>You look around and count the amount of pegasuses on you.
>Something about your scent causes them to wanna go to sleep on you.
>Twilight explained it to you the other day.
>"A long time ago pegasus would find predators that don't see them as prey to lay with at night. The predator must also have a certain scent as to keep away other predators."
>"The one the pegasus chooses to lay on won't attack them as they keep it warm and comfy on cold nights."
>You finish counting.
>Only seven today.
>You've got the normals, Thunderlane, Spitfire, Derpy, and Rainbow.
>Then there is the occasional, Cloud Chaser, Fluttershy, and Flitter Heart.
>The first one to wake up is Spitfire.
>"*Yawn* Morning Anon." She says fluffing up her wings. "Still sorry about sleeping on you."
>She begins her daily routine.
>Clean wings, flatten down fur, preen, then wake up the others.
>She stops in the middle of her wing cleaning and looks at you with a grin.
>"Although I know you like it~"
>"A big strong mare like me laying on a cute young stallion like you~"
>"I could keep you even more safe if you just-" You stop her.
"Spitfire, I'm not moving in with you.
>She's been trying to get you to move in with her for the longest time.
>You'd do it if it weren't for the fact she lived 5 miles away from your job.
>She continues her routine knowing it's just a waste of time to continue.
>"Your loss." She mumbles through her wing.

HerdAnon 2017-01-20 22:23:15 No.29306636
Didn't look at the linked post before posting, Sorry.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:23:40 No.29306638
Running in wet clothes? Physically uncomfortable.
Running naked? Besides being uncomfortable on psychological level, personally I hate when my balls and dick are flopping all around.
Pass either way.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:24:39 No.29306645
Is anyone else having problems with 4chanx atm?

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:25:24 No.29306651
Quitter. You know what else is physically uncomfortable? Dieting and exercise.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:32:37 No.29306693
Well, if I had to choose use another bridge 5km upstream, or swim across, I would definitely use bridge.
Its just more sensible option for me.
It would add, like what, 20 km to my total track? Not bad.
Against getting wet, swimming(or just walking up to your belly) in cold water twice and enduring being in cold, wet clothes for the duration of the run, risking catching cold?
Nah, Ill take my additional distance, I have time.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:36:02 No.29306703
I'd just go do something else until Dash left the bridge out of boredom, then take my chances on a very probably not-out-of-order bridge.

Worst case scenario: she wasn't lying, the bridge collapses, and I wind up swimming anyway.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:56:49 No.29306795
>Anon is a regular at a coffee house
>The mare working the counter always teases him with stereotypically "stallion" coffee drinks
>"A frappuccino with whipped cream and double sugar, right?"
>"An iced, sugar-free pumpkin spice latte?"
>Mocha with ten pumps of vanilla?"
>Anon just laughs good-naturedly and orders his usual black (or with cream, or some other simple drink) and takes the ribbing in the spirit it was given
>When she accepts Anon's real order, she always winks and asks if he wants "extra caramel drizzle"
>Her name is "Caramel Swirl"
>That's the joke. It's marecum. She wants to do the fuck with Anon.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:57:42 No.29306799
Oh yeah, Herdanon just shoot us some green.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 22:58:52 No.29306808
"Taste like sour milk in mouth"

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:04:19 No.29306831

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:05:20 No.29306839
>You decide to indulge Caramel Swirl and accept her offer of caramel drizzle on your coffee.
>Kind of disgusting on black coffee, but whatever. You're in a good mood today and a little early-morning banter won't kill you.
>Caramel Swirl pauses with her hoof on top of the handle for the caramel sauce dispenser
>She turns and looks you dead in the eye
>"I promise I taste just as sweet."
>She ever-so slowly presses down on the handle and caramel sauce dribbles all over your coffee
>Caramel Swirl maintains eye contact the entire time
>Your mornings never used to be this intense

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:07:02 No.29306843
No, you'll just have to stick around. They post them like crazy here anyway.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:11:14 No.29306865
>Anon wants to fix his fence
>Is not allowed to buy sharp tools without a mare accompanying him
>Anon considers bringing along one of his mare friends so that he can get supplies, but he knows that they will each want a different favor in exchange
>Lyra wants extra belly rubs (specifically on the park bench where everyone can see)
>Twilight wants to do a physical study that boils down to "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"
>Bon Bon wants help wrapping up her candies in their wrappers.... which, given what you know about the mares in this town, might be some kind of bizarre euphemism for playing with her clit
>Such is the mildly inconvenient life of Anonymous.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:19:27 No.29306902
how do I get back to earth you stupid horses

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:21:12 No.29306910
>Some mare takes a shining to Anon
>Probably a romantic and believes in love at first sight (though in ponyland, that's probably A Thing that exists)
>Swoops in and lavishes Anon with gifts, takes him out on dates, spends evenings alone with him
>Anon is unused to being on the business end of a courting and is blind-sighted by it
>Is unsure how to react
>Romantic pone thinks his "bashfulness" is endearing

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:21:15 No.29306911
go home mobilefagger

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:27:34 No.29306948
>Anon makes friends with some of the stallions in town.
>When he tells them a bit of what earth was like, they take it the wrong way, not realizing that earth was RGR to Equestria and instead think he was oppressed and abused or something.
>They all decide as one to "help" him until he's used to his new liberation in Equestria. A brother in need is a bother indeed, after all.
>Ranges from tasting his drinks at he bar for horseroofies to practicing "Stronk, independent colt" speeches to helping him keep up with the hottest trends.
>Que kooky misadventures with a confused human and his troop of stallion friends.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:27:55 No.29306949
Why is this Board filled with hunchbacked pc fatasses

Fuck you I'm browsing while I lie in bed.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:29:12 No.29306957
>Turns out Bon-Bon actually just wanted some help due to a large order of her candies.
>”Good Anon, just keep wrapping them up. At this rate we’ll be done in no time.”
>This trade between the two of you wasn’t so bad.
>Plus if you did finish early, you could get started on that fence project.
>”When you’re done come in the back room so you can put some buns in my oven.”
“Care to run that by me again?”
>With a frown Bon-Bon just shakes her head at you.
>”I have some buns that need to go in the oven, what is so difficult to understand?”
>Fucking Bon-Bon.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:31:09 No.29306966
>no homo and it'll all be okay

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:31:44 No.29306969
>Anon meets Celestia
>She's very nice, asks a lot of questions about himself and his hobbies
>Starts visiting him regularly and bringing gifts
>Her greetings start getting a bit more physical and affectionate
>Her gifts start becoming more and more extravagant
>She offers to help him find a better place to live than his somewhat ramshackle abode
>That 'better place' turns out to be a room in Canterlot Castle
>The public shake their head at yet another wealthy sugar momma whisking away some colt who's probably never worked a day to a lavish, pampered life
>Celestia tries to figure out how to convince Anon to move into her room without just coming out and telling him that she's bought his penis and that he has to

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:32:02 No.29306971
>Anon fugs them all up the butt

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:32:18 No.29306975
This, whacky hijinks are fine as long as it doesn't cross the line.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:33:50 No.29306982
>It's fine if they wear a skirt
Remember kids, not gay unless the tips touch

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:34:13 No.29306986
Kek, Bon Bon knows exactly what she's doing, she is just to tsundere to admit it, and she likes fucking with Anon a lot.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:37:30 No.29307005
Is it possible to fuck the gay out of Lyra and Bon Bon?

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:38:33 No.29307013
>Celestia comes from a time where you had to be more aggressive and competitive to get a mate
>Would be aghast if anypony suggested that she thought Anon "owed" her sex, but would be equally confused if Anon didn't put out
>"Maybe some more before-bedtime snuggling in front of the fireplace will convince him..."
>If nothing else, Celestia thinks, she gets before-bedtime cuddles out of it

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:39:46 No.29307018
I don't know. I think the age of consent should be 8, six years old are pretty annoying, but when they are 8 or 9 they are pretty tolerable IMO.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:41:44 No.29307027
Lyra is bi at most, Bon Bon just REALLY likes her, and is fine munching on her carpet. She isn't very friendly to others, unless Lyra makes her, like how she met her husbando Anon and made the secret agent herd. So yes.
Uh...did you post on the wrong board or something? Also from the looks of that I should also call the cops.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:43:46 No.29307041
>Implying Colts can be pedophiles
Mare pls.

Anonymous 2017-01-20 23:45:45 No.29307055
>secret agent herd.
>Bon Bon keeps her and Lyra's relationship with Anon a secret
>She uses the excuse that she's a secret agent and that Anon would be in danger if anypony knew that he was her coltfriend
>Really she's just embarrassed to get belly rubs in public like Lyra does
>"His hoof-spiders go so close to her teats.... that's way too lewd for me..."

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:14:26 No.29307237
Hey, I got more Twi-Sunny

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:15:28 No.29307247
>Your bed was a mess
>Your sheets, your covers, even your pillows were soaked with sweat, cum, and various other fluids
>The smell of sex was thick in the air
>Even though you had tried your best to clean the three of you up a bit after Twi and Nonny had passed right out--going into your bathroom and grabbing a towel-- you could still feel your stallion's and your cum all over you
>And then there was the smell...
>First there was Anon's scent
>Hearty, rich, musky...
>The smell of a healthy stallion in the prime of his life
>Then there was Twi’s
>Her musk was more delicate, flowery
>Nowhere near as strong as Anon's, but even so, you could easily discern it
>It was the scent of a mare
>The scent of a dorky alpha that brought a warmth to your chest whenever you looked at her
>Said dorky alpha, just like your stallion, was dead to the world
>Twi had her nose buried in Anon's chest, both of her arms tightly wrapped around his middle
>Anon had an arm draped over her, his mouth hanging open as he snored
>You were propped up on a few pillows, your chest pressed against Anon's back with one arm wrapped around him and the other running through his hair
>You hadn't been able to sleep all that much--you never could after a fuck-- so you had laid here for most of the day and the beginning of the night, watching over your two lovers
>YOUR two lovers...
>Even now that sounded a little weird to you...
>Twilight let out a sleepy nicker, rubbing her face back and forth against Nonny's chest before she went still again

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:16:30 No.29307260
>Anon twitched, his snoring ceasing for a moment before coming back with a vengeance
>You had slept with guys that snored before
>Usually, if it was loud enough, you'd just put a pillow over the their head and call it a night
>But Anon's snoring, even though it was loud enough that there was probably something wrong with his sinuses, you didn't mind it
>You also didn't mind when he'd bump you with his elbow or the back of his foot whenever he shifted in the bed
>If it would have been another pony, you might have made Twi sleep on the couch with all of the nickering and neighing that she was doing, but because it WAS her, you found it so adorable that you could lay here and listen to it all night long
>You liked it all
>How they moved against each other and you, the noises that they made in their sleep, the way that their chests rose and feel with each breath that they took
>Seeing it filled your chest with a pleasant warmth
>It made you feel good seeing it, feeling it, running your fingers through Anon's hair as he did his best to mimic a chainsaw
>It made you feel like a mare
>It made you feel... whole...
>Sighing to yourself, you leaned down and kissed the back of Nonny's head
>The sun wouldn't be up for a few hours
>Your bedroom was pitch black
>The room was still other than the movements of your herdmates
>And sweet Celestia above were you as happy as a donkey in an open bank vault
>Your smile widened just a hair as you nuzzled the top of your stallion's head
>Your nostrils flared, taking in his scent, memorizing it
>This was your scent
>It was going to cling to you from the moment that you woke up to the last moment before you closed your eyes to go to sleep for as long as this herd would be together

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:17:34 No.29307269
>This was the same scent that Twilight was going to have on her at all hours of the day
>It was a pretty simple smell for now
>You and Twi needed to mark him a few more times so that your scents would begin to mingle
>Then everyone with half a nose would know whose stallion this was
>Everyone would know whose cute little alpha that was whenever she walked past...
>"...Fucking fite me faggot..."
>Anon shifted his weight, one of his legs slipping between yours
>Kissing the top of his head, you crossed your legs, trapping it in place
>Anon snorted loudly, his grip on Twi tightening before he went still
>What a fucking cutie...
>Your lips parted, and biting down on a mouthful of hair you started to groom him
>The last guy that you tried this out on had freaked out
>Girls didn't use their teeth to clean a guy's hair...
>Girls weren't supposed to nicker or nuzzle someone as a greeting…
>They weren’t supposed to get their hands dirty or work hard…
>And even though you weren’t a girl, you looked like one
>So, even if sometimes you’d prefer to be anything but, you had to be a girl, not a mare...
>But not now...
>Not anymore...
>You closed your eyes, a nicker escaping your throat
>Twilight, still fast asleep, answered it with a nicker of her own
>You didn't need to hide anything
>Didn't need to act like someone you weren't
>You could be a mare here
>A unicorn
>A pony
>It had been so long since you could do this without freaking out...
>You had tried to introduce your horsey ways to the other Twilight and your friends
>They, of course, were completely supportive, and had come to you with open hearts and minds
>But you could see the discomfort on their faces, the hesitation at some of the things that you had tried to show them
>Open minds or not, they weren't Equestrians
>They had grown up differently

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:18:36 No.29307277
>This world was different; its culture, its peoples, everything was foreign
>You were an outsider
>An outsider that had been lucky enough to find a great bunch of girls that you could call friends, but an outsider nonetheless
>But not here...
>Not with these two...
>Twi was an Equestrian, and Anon was so socially stunted and starved for physical touch that he probably didn't even realize, or care, that what you were doing was odd or different
>You could be yourself in front of them; your honest, true self
>Nickering again, you craned your neck so you could groom the front of your stallion's head, rubbing your legs against Anon's
>You could feel a pleasant soreness in your marehood as you did this
>Not the kind that you usually had after a good, hard night of fucking, but it was sore enough to show that it had been a good evening
>It had been a long, long time since you had groomed another, so cleaning Anon's hair took a while
>More than once you had to stop as he shifted and wiggled, and a time or two you thought that he was about to wake up
>But, in the end, Anon's hair was as clean as could be
>You couldn't see it with how dark it was, but you knew it would be GLEAMING when the sun finally decided to poke its head over the horizon
>In fact, if the guys here gave a fuck about their hair every single one of them would be green with envy when Nonny poked his head into school
>Speaking of school...
>Wiping your mouth with your arm, you reached over toward your nightstand and grabbed your phone
>Turning down the phone's light so you didn't blind yourself, you turned it on and started to flick through it

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:19:39 No.29307281
>Just like you though school was going to be cancelled for the foreseeable future
>A quick app change took you to Facebook
>The girls were alright...
>Rainbow had lost power at her house, but it had gotten turned right back on this morning just like yours
>There were, of course, a few pictures of Rarity modeling in a brand new set of winter gear that she had probably hand-stitched herself
>The dyke...
>Applejack was calling on everyone at CHS to go out and help dig their neighbors out of their homes
>Pinkie had a picture up of her sitting on top of a snowman that looked twice her size
>Fluttershy sent you a personal message telling you that she was okay
>And other-Twilight had posted a bunch of scientific nonsense telling people how they could get the snow off of their property without using shovels
>Like anyone was going to have adolescente nitroglycerin just lying around in their basement...
>Keeping an arm wrapped tightly around Anon, you continued to search the web for a little bit, messaging each of the girls and telling them that you were alright and you hoped that they enjoyed the snow
>You weren't on your phone for very long, but by the time you turned it off, it was two in the morning
>Too late to be staying up...
>You needed to get some shuteye...
>Setting your phone down, you laid your head down onto your pillow and closed your eyes
>A minute or two later your eyes snapped open with a huff
>Late or not, you didn't feel very tired
>In fact, you felt wide awake...

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:20:41 No.29307285
>You tried again, burying your face into Anon's back and closing your eyes
>You stayed there, trying to slow your breathing, trying to drift off, but it was no use
>Grumbling, you wiggled yourself away from Anon and rolled out of bed
>Pulling the blanket over him and Twi, making sure that they were snug, you made your way out into the hallway and toward your bathroom
>Stupid insomnia...
>Not letting a filly get her fucking sleep...
>Flipping on the light in your bathroom--and only cringing a bit as the bright light invaded your senses-- you made your way over to your sink
>Turning the water on, you leaned down and swallowed a few mouthfuls
>You then splashed some water onto your face
>Reaching around for a towel to dry off, you looked down at yourself
>You had not done a very good job cleaning your lower body, you immediately noticed
>Your legs and lower belly were peppered with cum splotches, and your cunt was COVERED in sticky, thick cum
>You looked like a mess
>Worse than Lyra had after she spent five minutes in the closet with that Norman guy at that one party...
>Rubbing your thighs together, you grimaced as even more cum slipped from your marehood and began to run down your legs
>Holy Tartarus did you not do a good job at all cleaning yourself...
>Maybe a shower was in order?
>Giving yourself a once over, you quickly determined that a shower would, in fact, be a good idea
>You might get dirty again the instant you laid down on your cum-covered bed, but at least you'd be able to wash the cum out of you...

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:21:43 No.29307288
>And hey, maybe all of the warm water might make you sleepy enough to go to bed!
>Drying your face off, you made your way over to the shower and turned that sucker on
>Waiting until the water on an acceptable temperature, you hopped right in and grabbed yourself a loofa, lathering it up with some soap
>Tensing your marehood, you managed to get whatever was left of Anon's load out of you
>Which, surprisingly, was more than you were expecting
>That boy really DID cum like a stallion…
>Hopefully he wouldn’t go and break a condom when he was fucking Twi...
>With the cum out of you, it was just a matter of cleaning your thighs, legs, and butt
>You started to bounce in place, humming tunes to yourself as you cleaned your body
"Everybody's working for the weekend... something, something, something weekend..."
>Giving your butt a very good cleaning, you were about to start working on your boobs--because why not?-- when you heard the pitter-patter of bare feet on your bathroom floor
>Looking over you saw Anon through your clear plastic shower curtain, his eyes half-lidded and his hair disheveled, making his way toward your toilet
>The stallion's movements were stiff and forced
>He dragged his feet with each step he took, and his face as twisted up in discomfort and a little bit of disgust
>Poor colt looked as sore as all Tartarus...
"Well hello there, sleepyhead," you called
>Anon grumbled, walking over to the toilet
>Bending down like an old man to lift the seat he aimed his soft, floppy cock with one hand and began to take a leak
"You sore?"
>Your stallion nodded
>"Yeah. Everything hurts," he grunted, his nose scrunching up. "I didn't think that I'd be this sore after... you know."
"You were using muscles that you never used before," you said, beginning to scrub your underarms as his stream began to taper off. "Of course you're going to be sore."
>Giving his cock a few wiggles, your stallion put the seat back down and turned toward you

Anonymous 2017-01-21 00:22:08 No.29307292

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:22:46 No.29307296
>"How long was I out?" he asked, rubbing an eye
"For most of the day," you said with some pride. "I must have taken a lot out of you, huh?."
>Anon flinched, looking down at his feet
>"I, um... I'm sorry that I wasn't able to..."
>He shuffled in place, his hands behind his back
>"I couldn't make you... you know..."
>The smile on your face widened
>What a little sweetie...
"You did great," you assured with a bounce. "Especially for your first time."
>Anon looked up into your smiling face before looking back down
>"... I'm still sorry though."
>You couldn't help but giggle
>By Luna's moon was he the cutest colt that you had met in this world...
"If you're so sorry, why don't you make it up to me by hopping in here and helping me clean up?" you asked, shaking the loofa in your hand back and forth
>Anon's eyes once again lifted from the floor and toward your face, staying there for a few moments before they drifted southward
>Jutting your chest out, you let his eyes drink you in
>That's right colt...
>You ogle your Sunny Bunny...
>Anon licked his lips before stiffly making his way into the shower
>You, being the loving marefriend that you were, offered him a hand and helped him in
>He took that hand, giving it a tug and pulling you toward him and into a hug
>Your arms slipped around his middle and you laid your head on his shoulder
"You know, you really filled me up when you came," you said
>Anon stiffened
>"Y-Yeah... About t-that..."
>Trying to be as stealthy as possible, both of your hands snaked down to Anon's rump and gave it a squeeze
>That's the stuff right there...

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:23:48 No.29307307
"Don't worry about it. I'm on the pill, so you cumming in me like that is fine," you told him
>The stiffness in your stallion's body dissipated
>"Thank god..." he said with a sigh
>You giggled again
"I might be on the pill, but Twi isn't, so we're going to have to be careful with her," you said. "You're probably going to have to start wearing condoms."
>You didn't like them, and neither did most guys, but it was for the best
>Herd or not, you didn't want Twi getting knocked up out of the blue
>Anon, leaning into you, nodded
>"Yeah, I understand. I don't want to get anyone pregnant."
"Not yet at least," you said, giving his cheeks another squeeze before stepping away from him with a smile. "Now, why don't we get cleaned up? Come on, you get my back and I'll get yours."
>When you, Anon, and Twi had showered together you didn't have much of an opportunity to lay your hands on this qt little colt
>You wanted him and Twi to get comfortable with each other
>Explore their bodies and whatnot
>But now, with just the two of you, you could explore all that you wanted
>And explore you did
>As one hand washed, the other touched and tickled
>You scrubbed his chest, his arms, his back
>Anon squirmed and wiggled the lower you went, biting his lip as you ran the loofa over his flaccid cock and his legs
>Quickly the pretext of just washing fell away and you just started letting your hands explore
>You didn't do anything TOO lewd
>Some touching here, a little dirty joke there, maybe you rubbed yourself against him once or twice, but it wasn't your fault
>You were only equine!
>And what hot-blooded mare would be able to keep her hands off a stallion like this?
>Anon, to his credit, didn't just stand there and let you have your way with him
>In fact, he might have been grabber than you
"Oh, you like my butt huh?" you teased, pressing yourself against his chest as those hands of his gave your cheeks a squeeze

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:24:51 No.29307310
>"You have a g-great butt," he said, with that cute little stutter of his
"Well you have some great arms," you said, giving a bicep a squeeze. "Nice and strong. The kind of arms that could sweep a girl like me off her feet."
>Anon's smile brought a warmth to your chest, and you almost started giving him eskimo kisses when you noticed that his chest puffed out a bit from the praise
>Soooo fucking cute...
>You rubbed your thighs together, biting your lip as you felt a warmth beginning to accumulate there
"So how was your first time?" you asked. "Was it everything that you thought it'd be?"
>One of your hands dragged against Anon's thigh, "accidentally" brushing against his slowly hardening member
>He gasped, his grip on you tightening
>"It was fantastic," he said. "Better than I'd ever thought it would be."
"I'm glad," you said, giving him a kiss on the cheek
> "I mean, that thing where you squeezed me when I was inside of you was crazy," he continued as you slowly backed him up against a wall. "I've never felt anything like it."
"That's what happens when you have complete vaginal control, hon."
>"Really? So you can..."
"Yep. It was a little thing that came with me from Equestria," you said with a quick peck on the lips. "It's not as controlled as back home, but this body IS a lot different."
>"I really liked it," Anon admitted. "After feeling you doing what you did it's going to be really hard to go back to my hand."
>You giggled again
>This colt...
>With a little shove, Anon's back was against your shower wall
>Placing your hands on his shoulders, you got up on your tippy toes and gave his nose a little kiss
"And why the hell do you think that you need to go back to using your hand, you silly filly?" you asked, pressing your weight against him, not quite pinning him to the wall but doing something that was VERY close to it

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:25:55 No.29307317
>Something hard and twitching brushed up against your thigh, prompting you to press more of yourself against him
>You loved how easy it was to get colts here horny...
"You're part of a herd now, Nonny. All you need to do is ask me or Twi and we'd be happy to give you some... "relief"."
>You made a show of licking your lips, one of your hands wandering down and wrapping around Anon's cock
"You just need to say the word~"
>Anon's eyes widened just a hair, and you could see the beginnings of a blush working its way onto his face
>"I know," he said. "I w-was just talking about when one of you wasn’t in the mood a-and--"
>You licked his lips, silencing him
>His cock throbbing in your hand
>Not able to help yourself, you gave it a stroke
"It's a mares duty to make sure that her stallion is looked after," you said, pressing more of your weight against him so now you WERE pinning him to the wall
>Not that he seemed to mind all that much...
"Alpha or not, if you need release it's our duty to make sure that you have that."
>You ran a finger around Anon's cockhead, causing him to gasp
"Whether that means we blow you until your balls are empty--"
>Another touch made your stallion's hips jerk
"--Or have you mount us until neither of us can walk--"
>Another stroke brought out a whimper from him and coated your hand in something thick and sticky
>A lot of something
>It looked like him cumming as much as he had wasn't just from all of the edging that morning...
"--then that's what we'll have to do until you're satisfied."
>Giving him another kiss on the lips, one which he returned this time, you looked at him expectantly

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:27:34 No.29307333
"So, with that in mind, do you need anything now that we're in the shower, my big, THICK stallion?" you asked
>A shudder ran through Anon as your fingers tightened around his cock
>The heat between your legs was becoming uncomfortable
>You clenched your legs and waiting for his answer
>A bit of shower sex would be a win-win for everyone, you figured
>You needed something to cool you off, needed someone to fill you and paint your insides with cum
>And Anon here looked like he needed another good fuck
>Good for him, good for you, good for everyone
>Anon looked at you with those pretty green eyes of his, his mouth opening and closing
>Finally, after a few tries, he managed to utter something
>"Well... t-there's something else that I've always wanted to do with a girl..." he admitted
>You smiled, feeling your marehood twitch
"You can do whatever you want with me, hon," you promised, kissing him again
>As you did that, you began to think what your stallion's little "fantasy" would be
>Did he want to cum all over you?
>Maybe he wanted to fuck your thighs until he came this time?
>Some guys that you've been with have really had a thing for feet, so it might have been something along those lines...
>Anon, giving you a kiss of his own, grabbed you by the shoulders
>Pushing you away from him, he turned the two of you around so that your back was against the wall and he was pressed up against you
>What was this little devil planning…?
>He smiled nervously, placing his hands on your hips
>"Sorry in advance if I'm b-bad at this," he said
>...Why was it always sorry with this stallion?
>He didn't have anything to be sorry about...
>You opened your mouth to say as much, but your words died in your throat, as, with a pained grunt, Anon got down on his knees

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:28:36 No.29307342
>What the fuck was he doing?
"Anon? What the fuck are you doing?"
>Anon flinched, looking up at you
>"I a-always wanted to know what it was like to e-eat a girl out," he said, the blush on his face creeping down his neck. "So I thought that we could-- I mean, I thought that I could try it out a little..."
"You want to eat me out?" you questioned
>Not that you were against it--who the fuck would be-- but you had just offered to do anything for your stallion here
>And he goes and picks simple foreplay?
>Foreplay where he's the one giving and you're receiving?
>A small, concerned frown came to your stallion's face
>He fiddled with his hands nervously, looking down at the floor
>"I don't need to do it if you don't w-want me to," he said, forlorn. "I've always wanted to do it, and since you were offering..."
>Why the hell were you complaining about this?
>Your stallion was on his knees, ASKING to eat you out
>You didn't need to bribe him, there was no magic involved
>He wanted to do it on his own free will
>You fucking dummy...
>Smiling, you placed a hand on top of Anon's head
"Hon, if that's what you want to do t-then I'm all for it," you said, running your fingers through his hair
>Your marehood twitched as Anon's eyes lifted from the floor and he looked up at you once again
>"Are you sure? I'm probably not going to be very good at it."
>Your hand went to the back of his head
>Oh sweet Celestia...

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:29:39 No.29307347
>If this stallion didn't stop it you were going to RUIN him...
>Resisting the urge to carry his butt back into your bedroom to make even more of a mess of your sheets, you gave his head a little tug
"You're never going to learn if you don't practice with someone," you said as calmly as you could, a shiver rubbing up your spine as Anon's mouth parted and that little pink tongue of his slipped from his mouth to lick his lips
>Different world or not, the guys here still didn't like to eat a filly out
>Sure, they did it WAY more here than back at home but most didn't like it
>You could see it on their faces when they were between your legs
>It made the whole experience a little... flat in your opinion
>But Anon here was looking at your cunt like it was a bowl of his favorite ice cream
>He wanted to eat you out
>Wanted to taste and lick you
>And that was fucking HOT
>Biting the inside of your lip to keep yourself composed, you continued
"And don't worry, I'll make sure to coach you so you can make me feel good."
>"Thanks, Sunny," your stallion said gratefully. "It really means a lot that you're l-letting me do this."
>You twitched as you felt his warm, moist breath wash over your marehood
>Keep it together filly...
>This isn't your first rodeo...
"I'm happy to h-help," you breathed, your back already arching in preparation. "And don't worry about anything, hon. If you want to keep doing this I'm sure we can make you into the best cilt-sucker in the world."
>Oh you hope he liked this...
>You really, really, really, REALLY hoped he did...
>"I'll do my best," your stallion promised
>You were just about to push his head a bit more so that his nose was pressed up against your flower when Anon yanked back

OG Mudpone, son of pone fucker 2017-01-21 00:30:24 No.29307351
>They took him
>They took your Anon
>He's YOURS, damnit!
>You were supposed to be his strong, protecting mare, but you have failed him
>And now this group of radical idiots have him in their hooves
>You will not stand for this
>You refuse!
>You can't just stand and watch while Anon is dragged away to who-knows-where
>You need to do something!
>Without a second thought, you run back and dive through the hole in your royal bedroom that those vile Vox Tauri had made
>Unfurling your wings, you take flight
>Ohh, you remember you weren't so good at this
>But it'll be worth it to save Anon!
>You can see the pegasus carrying Anon in the distance
>It looks like Anon could see you, too
>He's waving at you!
>He knew that you would come and save him, being the strong, protective mare that you were!
>It drove you on, knowing that he was depending on you!

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:30:44 No.29307354
>You resisted the urge to place both hands on the back of his head and force him to start licking
"Yeah hon?"
>Somehow, his face reddened a little more
>"If there's a way that you can do it while I'm e-eating you out, could you maybe, please... squeeze my head with your legs?" he asked, shrinking into himself
>Best stallion
>Best stallion of all time
>Twilight was the best alpha
>This was the best decision that you've ever made
>Another shiver ran through you
"You really do like my thighs don't you, you dirty boy?" you cooed, rubbing your thighs together
>Anon nodded shyly
>Yeah, I really do l-like them," he admitted, placing his hands on your legs and giving them a squeeze
>He licked his lips again
>"I really, really like them..."
"Then I'll make sure to give your head a little squeeze if I can," you told him, giving his head another tug. "Now why don't you put that cute l-little tongue of yours to work, huh?"
>This time Anon's head lurched forward
>His tongue tongue slipped out of his mouth and you could feel his body both loosen and tense up
>You mentally prepared yourself
>Come on, filly...
>Keep yourself together...
>You were a tough, marely mare
>You've done WAY lewder things thas this with stallions

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:31:46 No.29307358
>In fact, this was--
>Your breathing hitched as you felt Anon's soft lips on your inner thigh
>His nose brushed up against your leg, making you tense
>He pulled away, looking up at you with a smile and licking his lips
>"You taste sweet," he said
>It took a second, but you eventually realized what he was referring to
>He had seen the wetness dripping down your legs and had decided to have himself a taste before he did anything
>You were going to RUIN this stallion...
>With a pleased hum, Anon went back to your legs, doing his best to lick them clean
>You spread your legs, giving him easier access while giving yourself a better view
>You fucking lick those thighs clean, colt...
>Anon took his time cleaning the cum from your legs
>He hummed and giggled as his tongue dragged up your smooth, hairless flesh
>Every once in awhile he'd stop to pepper your legs with kisses and nose your flesh affectionately, which only ended up giving him even more cum to lick up
"Sweet fucking Luna," you breath, using the wall behind you as support. "Are you sure you haven't done this before, Nonny?"
>Anon looked back up at you mischievously, his face covered in your excitement
>You bit your lip hard, your marehood sending another spurt of cum down your legs, which was quickly lapped up
>Keep it together...
>Keep it fucking together…
>He hadn’t even touched your cunt yet for Celestia’s sake...
>Anon began to make his way up your now very slick thighs, licking and kissing the whole way
>When he got to the cleft of your left leg he skipped your cunt entirely, pressing his lips against your lower belly
>Your hips bucked, and your grip on the back of his head tightened even more so you had a fist full of hair tightly in your grasp

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:32:48 No.29307363
>Anon hummed again, pressing his lips against the little patch of fur that you kept between your lips, giving your mound a kiss
>His hands wandered up to your thighs, gripping you tightly and holding you in place
>You responded with a quiet nicker
"Yeah... just like that. You're doing g-great, Nonny..."
>Another lick made your knees knock together
>Another kiss made you bite your lip until you tasted blood
>You had to look away from Anon as he wandered back downward to keep yourself from losing control completely
>Oh sweet Luna...
>Give me strength...
>A low groan escaped you as Anon, finally, after all of that fucking teasing, pressing his lips against your lips
>Your marehood, puffy and swollen with arousal, twitched, kissing him back
>Your stallion giggled, pulling away and looking up at you
>"It moved!" he exclaimed breathlessly, looking excited. "I could feel it!"
>You closed your eyes
>This colt was going to make you bust an ovary...
"She's happy to see you, so she's giving you kisses," you replied, trying to catch your breath
>No longer able to help yourself, you yanked him forward and mashed his face back into your groin
"Why don't you keep giving her kisses back?"
>A groan erupted from your stallion, causing you to tense up hard
>His fingernails dug into your legs as he nuzzled his face back and forth and began to lick
>Almost at once you could tell that he had no idea what he was doing
>You could feel his teeth slide up against your lips as his face moved up and down your cunt, and he didn't seem to know what to do with his tongue
>But, what he lacked in experience he more than made up for in eagerness
"No, lick a little above there. Yeah... Remember to suckle a little bit, and you can use your teeth as long as you're careful about it. Yeah... Oh fuck yeah~..."

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:33:52 No.29307369
>You groaned as you felt Anon's tongue slip into your marehood
>Your inner muscles squeezed the invader, trying to pull more of it inside of you
>As this happened Anon pinned you against the shower wall with so much force that you wouldn't be able to get away even if you wanted to
>Then, grabbing two handfuls of your ass, he picked you up in the air and held you there
"Fuck!" you moaned, before breathless laughing. "Oh you fucking dirty colt..."
>Anon's tongue wiggled around inside of you frantically
>Your cunt continued to squeeze the little muscle, milking it over and over again
>That tongue of his wasn't quite reaching your g-spot, but he wasn't going to need to
>The licking, the kissing, the way that he was holding even when, a few minutes ago he could barely walk right; it was really helping you along
>Your breathing was becoming ragged
>Butterflies were flapping around your stomach
>Your body was heating up and you were nickering like a filly
>Anon pulled his tongue out of you, kissing and sucking at your pussy lips before his wet muscle slipped back into your folds
>Your back arched
"Yeah... you eat that pussy..."
>A wave of pleasure tore through you, causing you to grit your teeth
>Your legs wrapped around Anon's head and gave it a squeeze
>Anon immediately stiffened, and not a second later a long, low groan sent vibrations through your marehood, taking your breath away
>It wasn't going to be much longer...
>Veteran or not, even you couldn't last long under these conditions...
>Your marehood began milking your stallion's tongue faster and with more force
>Your muscles tightened, and the warmth between your legs rose to its apex
>Shaking, you forced yourself to look down at your stallion
>Anon's eyes were half-lidded and hazy
>His nose was pressed against your mound, moving back and forth ever so slightly

Anonymous 2017-01-21 00:34:18 No.29307373

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:34:55 No.29307376
>You could see his lips pressed up against your cunt, that little pink tongue of his slipping through your folds to drink your essence from the source
>And speaking of cum, his face, his chest, and even his chest was covered in the stuff
>He was covered in you
>In your scent
>And he would be for DAYS….
>Anon, feeling your eyes on him, looked up at you
>Some of the haze left his eyes
>He winked at you before burying his tongue into you as deep as he could
>Because of this his tongue was able to go that half-inch more to drag across that little sensitive patch of nerves inside of you
>It also had the bonus of having his nose rub against your cilt with more force that you were expecting
>That was the straw that broke the camel's back
>You closed your eyes, threw back your head, and screamed as the pleasure finally boiled over
>Your marehood went wild, squeezing on Anon's tongue as hard as it could, sending a wave of cum onto the stallion's face
>Anon, groaning into your cunt, continued to lick as best as he could while you shook and cursed and held onto his head for dear life
>For nearly a minute your orgasm sent wave after wave of pleasure through you
>It was a hard one
>The kind of cum that made a filly get down on her knees and praise the sun
>It felt like you were swimming through a sea of warm honey
>It was amazing
>Mind blowing
>You never wanted it to end
>Eventually, though, the pleasure DID subside
>The muscles in your body went limp one after another
>Your grip on Anon's tongue went slack
>Your legs lost their strength and slipped from his head
>Even you grip on his head loosened
>Breathing hard, and feeling lightheaded, you let out a chuckle
"W-Whoo... it’s been awhile... since I've... cum that... hard..." you said, before a spark of pleasure made you hiss in surprise
>Looking down, you saw that Anon was still licking, lost in his own little world

OG Mudpone, son of pone fucker 2017-01-21 00:35:44 No.29307382

Anonymous 2017-01-21 00:35:48 No.29307384

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:36:00 No.29307387
"A-Anon, honey," you said, your legs twitching as his tongue dragged against the sensitive spot inside of you.
>With a shaky hand you poked him on the forehead
>Your stallion ignored you, too busy licking you into ruin
>Squirming in Anon's grip, you poked his forehead with more and more force, trying to get his attention
>Finally, with a very hard flick to the ear he twitched, looking up at you in confusion
"Anon, please, just me a second for Celestia's sake..." you begged
>Anon blinked slowly, his mind processing what you had just said
"Please, get that tongue out of me," you whined, giving his head a little push. "Please? I'm sensitive..."
>A nicker escaped you as Anon's wonderful little tongue slipped out of you a second later
>That nicker turned into a neigh as he gave your lips one last tongue bath before, breathing just as hard as you, he pressed his cum-soaked face against your mound
>"How did I do?" he asked
"Fucking amazing," you said, pressing your head against the wall and closing your eyes. "Really fucking amazing. You made me cum my brains out..."
>Though you didn't see it, Anon smiled
>"Thanks for letting me do this, Sunny," he said, like making you cum as hard as you did was a reward for HIM. "And thanks for doing that thing with your legs. It felt really nice."
"You can do this whenever you want to me," you said with a groan. "Fuck me sideways, are you a natural pussy eater..."
>You couldn’t WAIT until this colt had a bit of practice orally pleasing a mare
>There was a good chance that none of you would would leave your bedroom again…
>Wew did you cum hard...
>It took a minute or two to get yourself together, but eventually you remembered how to move your limbs properly
>Anon put you down and let you stand up on your shaky legs, climb to his own shaky feet and pulling you into a hug
>You chuckled again

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:37:57 No.29307403
“You’re going to have to do this to Twi when she wakes up,” you said. “If you think I liked that, wait till you see her…”
>Anon hummed, holding onto you tighter
>"I love you," he whispered, nuzzling the side of your face
>You blinked
>That's weird...
>You were away from the shower and you still managed to get water in your eyes...
>Sniffling, you wrapped your arms around your stallion and gave him another kiss, not caring at all when your own juices touched your lips
>The warmth came back to your chest with a vengeance
>Anon was smiling as he held you, you noticed
>You liked that smile...
>You wanted to see it more...
>You wanted to protect it...
>Just like you wanted to protect the little nerd in the other room's smile
>Anon kissed your cheek, and with an affectionate nicker you rubbed yourself against him
"You silly colt," you murmured, holding him close. "I'm supposed to be the one that says that..."


>Your eyes snapped open
>The room was pitch black
>Your face was pressed into something soft and warm
>There was also something pressed up against your back
>Two sets of arms were wrapped around you
>One of your hands opened and closed, and with a start you realized that someone was holding your hand
>This hand was bigger than yours
>Callused and thick
>Sunset and Anon...
>Picking your head up, you looked up into Sunset's sleeping face
>In your ear, Anon sighed, wiggling closer to you
>Sighing yourself, the tension that had been building in your muscles went again
>It was just Sunset and Anon...
>Just your herdmates...
>The thought brought a smile to your face
>Your herdmates...
>Anon twitched against you
>Sunset, with a sleepy murmur, squished her teats together, subconsciously trying to encourage you to bury your face back into her mounds
>The dyke...
>You kissed that dyke's nose--YOUR dyke's nose--before giving Anon's hand a squeeze
>You were sticky

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:39:01 No.29307409
>There was a deep, but not unpleasant, soreness in your body
>You felt sweaty and sticky and gross in a million different ways
>With a happy hum, you let your face fall between two of the biggest teats that you've ever seen and closed your eyes
>As you did this you lifted the hand holding yours and brought it to your own chest, resting your free hand on top of it
"Love you two," you murmured with a wiggle
>Though you didn't see it Sunset, who was very much awake, smiled
>"I love you too, dyke," she teased, giving your head a pat
>You stiffened slightly but kept your face where it was
>S-Sorry mom...

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 00:40:02 No.29307412
Alright, I'm done

OG Mudpone, son of pone fucker 2017-01-21 00:41:25 No.29307419
Good shit my man

Anonymous 2017-01-21 00:41:40 No.29307425
Please tell me this is gunna end with the three of them going back to Equestria. Obviously Twilight can't just stay there forever.

Pox 2017-01-21 00:41:42 No.29307426
You are my favorite internet person ever. I think that says a lot of bad things about my priorities.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 00:47:05 No.29307454
you do the best stuff man

Anonymous 2017-01-21 00:47:20 No.29307456
>>Your legs and lower belly were peppered with cum splotches, and your cunt was COVERED in sticky, thick cum

Anonymous 2017-01-21 00:49:03 No.29307466
I love you man, this is some of the best green i've read keep it up

Anonymous 2017-01-21 00:56:44 No.29307503
>>You ogle your Sunny Bunny...

Anonymous 2017-01-21 00:57:43 No.29307510
Really dude? Don't interrupt.

OG Mudpone, son of pone fucker 2017-01-21 01:01:32 No.29307528
My bad, I won't post until tomorrow, Love and Powerlifting's story is great and I don't wanna take people away from it

Anonymous 2017-01-21 01:07:27 No.29307564
>Afrikaaner Anon in Equestria
>Gets drunk and smashes windows when his football team loses
>Ponies have no idea what he's saying, either from his thick accent or the weird moon slang he uses
>Applejack keeps trying to stop him working on the farm since he's a stallion, but profits are up 200% since he started working
>He shacks up with Zecora since she reminds him of home

Anonymous 2017-01-21 01:10:38 No.29307585
That's not what he was talking about. It's usually in bad form to post while someone else is posting green. That's why writefags usually say "I'm done" when they finish posting.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 01:24:50 No.29307672
Eh, it varies from thread to thread. I'd rather have more green than less. Isn't like we'd get them confused with each other.

OG Mudpone, son of pone fucker 2017-01-21 01:26:08 No.29307684
Yeah, that's what I figured. I had an "oh shit nigger I fucked up" moment when I realized I posted while he was still posting, I'll make a note to not let that happen again

Anonymous 2017-01-21 01:37:48 No.29307756
But someday, that routine will be broken and her dreams will become a reality. I know it.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 01:58:26 No.29307875
I have a craving for any and all pegasus related content.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 02:03:19 No.29307905
Ah yes, the weekly LaP update to make me feel cold and dead inside.


Anonymous 2017-01-21 02:04:07 No.29307910
A+ would be sad this is not my life again

>>“You’re going to have to do this to Twi when she wakes up,” you said. “If you think I liked that, wait till you see her…”
>Waiting until Twilight wakes up to give her oral

Anonymous 2017-01-21 02:11:36 No.29307960
people were talking last thread about NoF's take on dash was the best here. I can't find him on the pastbin listing though, can someone provide me a link?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 02:22:16 No.29308022
I was reading Golden Opportunities again and there is a chapter missing in between 9 and 10

Anonymous 2017-01-21 02:24:26 No.29308035
well damn, i was just reading through that. i haven't got that far, but I hope LaP fixes it.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 02:29:04 No.29308061
>"How come Anon has undies with a tail hole in them?"
>"He doesn't have a tail."

Love and Powerlifting 2017-01-21 02:29:04 No.29308062
I just fixed it. Thanks for telling me

Anonymous 2017-01-21 02:36:38 No.29308104
>Surprising your mare in the morning with oral sex

Anonymous 2017-01-21 02:38:23 No.29308112
Thanks for fixing it

Anonymous 2017-01-21 02:48:32 No.29308170
I put Gamerpone and Anon play Overwatch into a pastebin because I actually liked it

Can someone please add it to the gdoc?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 02:53:57 No.29308192
>Anon is as lewd as your average human male
>More lewd, actually, thanks to all the naked pussy and ponut that mares tend to display proudly, if unknowingly (accidental tail-whips are a thing and Anon sometimes gets an unintentional eyeful of pony crotch)
>Stallions tend to hide their lewdness to either make themselves look more "pure" for marriage, or just because they don't want everypony to think they're a slut
>While the other members of the mane 6 are blinded by their RGRE-coloured glasses and tend to see Anon as just another stallion, Applejack is different
>She knows all about Anon's lewdness
>She sees through his insinuations and innuendos more like "in YOUR end-o"
>When things get a little bit heated and Anon excuses himself to go to the bathroom, Applejack gives him that exact look right there in the image
>She knows
>The others think he's going to do whatever mysterious rituals that stallions spend 15 minutes in the bathroom doing
>But Applejack knows the truth

Anonymous 2017-01-21 03:04:53 No.29308244
>We /mpoll/ now.
Is her evil persona's name Solar Flare, or Tyrant Sun?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 03:09:29 No.29308266
Oh... I could put it in my regular bin if people are that interested enough to archive it. Might keep things more organized in case I update it.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 03:10:06 No.29308269
Solar Sun. The polar opposite of Moon Moon

She's not very good at coming up with scary-sounding names.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 03:12:59 No.29308282
please write more, I enjoyed it and I'm sure others did despite the /v/ shitposting.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 03:24:31 No.29308337
The whole thing is part /v/ shitpost as is. I'll see if there's another few posts in me for this.

Here's the official bin. Not sure if my writing style gives away my tripname or not, but there it is.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 03:25:13 No.29308344
Don't know why, but of all the things in this thread, this one gave me a good belly laugh.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 03:32:54 No.29308374
That would actually be pretty nice to have a paste of these things. But then, it would also require effort.

it's blind-sided
it's cue

So I hate the mobile-poster-posters too, but really, a properly set up desk is hilariously superior in ergonomics.

Age of consent should be 23 desu fambly.

I'm a fan of Bonbon being gay, Lyra being the only one that gets her, and Lyra being either bi, or gay-with-a-human-exception.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 04:06:04 No.29308562
>Anon wakes up on father's day to breakfast in bed (complete with a shitty little vase that has a flower in it) being served to him by his waifu and their foal
>Entertains their foal and makes a show of eating the breakfast the that foal obviously made
>Has an enjoyable day where he spends all day in his housecoat and his waifu makes dinner (for once)
>Sends his exhausted foal off to bed
>Has absolutely no problem with rewarding his waifu for making father's day special for him

Anonymous 2017-01-21 04:27:23 No.29308675
I feel like he almost established that that's what's in the cards, but maybe I'm confusing something from the story with something somebody commented about it.


Nine months? Geez, Most of the stuff I've enjoyed has been from that time period.
The spaghetti filly series by Ghoul is probably my favorite recent stuff, just ahead of Opportunities.
Start here: http://pastebin.com/42MYxVUW
Pumpkin Pasta, the third and longest, is also the best, definitely read up to it. I really hope he continues. I wanna see awkward Applebloom's Hearth Warming Eve trying, unsuccessfully, to hit on Anon.

BNW's written some new stuff. Nothing that really stands out to me, but all good:

Summer Sun Celebration by FB
>not wish fulfillment?
>In my wish fulfillment general?

Don't Stand So Close to Me and Golden Opportunities already mentioned.
Get Cutter Get Butter, also by LaP, wasn't really to my taste, but I'm sure some would like it.

Somebody was doing a miniatures wargaming one not too long ago. That had potential. Who was it?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 04:40:41 No.29308732
>You are Applejack, the only Apple you know that isn't apple-coloured.
>There's been some speculation about just how closely you're related to Auntie and Uncle Orange, but we don't talk about that in polite company.
>Twilight convinced you to let Anon work on your farm for a bit
>Said that things were a bit different where Anon came from and that we should be gentlemares and accommodate him
>You figure he'll be gone within a week, though; too much dirt, sweat, and hard work for a colt to handle.
>Big Mac is the exception to the rule, though. He's basically an Amazon.
>Built like a brick shithouse, that one.
>But this Anonymous...
>You watch as Anon overturns a bucket of cold water over this shirtless body
>You lick your lips as you watch the rivulets of moisture drip down his furless, taut skin
>You can't help but imagine licking it all off and giving that colt a proper bath.
>With your tongue.
>The Great Apple is testing you.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 04:47:07 No.29308764
Hey, at least you're awake now.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 04:52:06 No.29308788
>Lunar Moon

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:00:49 No.29308836
>In the ancient Equestrian tongue back 1000 years ago, Luna and Celestia's names literally translate into "Moon Moon" and "Sun Sun"
>They realize this sounds stupid as shit and it's kept a closely guarded secret

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:01:51 No.29308841
>something something masturbates into your coffee

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:09:34 No.29308876
>sounds stupid as shit
Also sounds cute as fuck, like a kiddie nickname.
I would call Celestia 'Sunny Sun Sun'.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:10:46 No.29308879
Guys, I just had the best idea.

>Villain Anon.
>Seashell as his henchmare.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:10:47 No.29308880
She creamed his coffe

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:10:50 No.29308881
"Hey, Sunny Sun Sun!"
>Your ears perk up; he knows.
>You and Luna are going to have to take the cuddles to him.
>Medium style.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:12:08 No.29308890
>Medium style
What did she mean by this.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:19:28 No.29308911
Instead of kicking him, they're going to viciously snuggle him until he's in a state of bliss and unable to tell anybody that their names are Sun Sun and Moon Moon.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:34:34 No.29308973
Truly a fate worse than death.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:36:29 No.29308988
Hey Eph is Marble dead? I need more bestpony in my life.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:39:58 No.29309005

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:46:48 No.29309027
Applejack *is* apple colored, though. And Applejack is the color of apple jack.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 05:51:00 No.29309041
....y-yeah, well... quit ruining my narrative.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 06:00:52 No.29309086
>apple jack
Red and Black?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 06:53:47 No.29309342
I've always had a problem with this question. "Nightmare Moon" worked so well because of the layered meanings in the name - I mean, Luna governs the night, so she's the quintessential "night mare", but "nightmare" also refers to a horrible dream, emphasizing just how bad things were; not to mention the obvious reference to the moon.

"Solar Flare" sounds appropriately menacing, I guess, but it doesn't have the same layered meaning behind it. "Tyrant Sun" is even more on-the-nose and just kind of tacky… and the less said about "Daymare Sun", the better.

The real problem, I've always felt, is that English doesn't have an exact opposite term to "nightmare" we could use for Celestia. Certainly not one that'd have just as much layered meaning as Nightmare Moon did, while also sounding harsh-but-not-tacky.

I think the best names I can come up with would be something like Fantasy Star or Star Dream, but I don't believe that a corrupted Celestia would be quite as much a tyrant if using either of those names. I imagine she'd somehow trap her citizens in fantasies, pleasant dreams, or even simply forbid work - still dangerous to the kingdom, ultimately, and very much a corruption of what she stands for.

Just don't fight her and make her use her ultimate form, Star Dream Soul, or HAL Labs might sue.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 06:55:12 No.29309345
By now, Twilight's accepted that she just isn't maresculine or attractive enough to get her own coltfriend. A genuine coltfriend that's not just going to pretend to be smitten just so he could get closer to her royalties. That's fine. She's happy with her friends, and with her duties. She was meant to be a princess, not a lover.

AsSarcasticAsPossible 2017-01-21 06:58:03 No.29309359
Hey, if you're going to plagiarize, plagiarize from the best kirby game of all time.

Ephemeral 2017-01-21 07:06:41 No.29309379
I get asked this a lot and it makes me feel real guilty. I didn't think it'd follow me here though.

I'd of course like to get back to it, and Marble remains my favorite character to write even if Umbra takes a lot of influence from her. I don't plan on abandoning the story with Marble but I struggle to get words down some days on much simpler stories so who knows really.

AsSarcasticAsPossible 2017-01-21 07:16:44 No.29309423
Also unrelated note, remember that Celestia basically means "Heavenly." So that's direction you can take it.

Pox 2017-01-21 07:23:56 No.29309452
Heavenly Inferno?

I dunno, Twiggles can throw her ovaries around pretty good when she wants.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:25:19 No.29309458
Yeah, but according to RGRE any instance of her acting not like a beta is out of character.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:27:37 No.29309471
Then along comes Anon who waifu'd her hard before he ever got there. She suddenly has this sexy alien trying to get with her out of nowhere.

Twilight decides that he must be some sort of villain trying to trick her.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:29:21 No.29309477
>beta is out of character.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:29:59 No.29309479
>not like a beta is out of character

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:30:05 No.29309480
>Seashell as Kronk

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:30:41 No.29309482
If EQG has taught us anything, its that Twilight has a massive weakness for monkey dick

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:34:14 No.29309497
>English doesn't have an exact opposite term to "nightmare"

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:34:24 No.29309498
EQG isn't canon.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:39:20 No.29309522
I'm just glad you're still writing. You make good green.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:49:47 No.29309561
>>Twilight wants to do a physical study that boils down to "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"
Two keks

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:56:39 No.29309576
It kind of works, I suppose, it just doesn't quite strike me as the real antithesis of a nightmare. Maybe there's something wrong with me.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 07:58:44 No.29309584
w-write a little more please.

I'll trade you some pseudo l-lewds.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 08:04:51 No.29309600
my dick can't withstand this.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 08:22:44 No.29309644
>human women nickering and neighing
Fucking weirdos. If Sunset didn't give a legit display of her powers like she did I'd think they were just autistic.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 08:28:17 No.29309660
>"I think he killed Bob Pancakes. He invited him round for a make up. Last anypony bucking saw of him"
>"He was a mare"

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:00:55 No.29309737
>>"I love you," he whispered, nuzzling the side of your face
>>You blinked
>>That's weird...
>>You were away from the shower and you still managed to get water in your eyes...

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:11:05 No.29309760
>Pony doctors start trying to magic Anon's tail back.
>Anon tells them he never had a tail.
>Ponies think it's just the poor colt's way of dealing with the loss.
>"If he never had a tail why is there a tail bone!?" The doctor ponies say.
>Eventually Anon gets a tail.
>The only real problem is it has fur.
>Otherwise no real downside.
>He uses it like a third hand.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:13:11 No.29309765
He really is a monkey.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:17:37 No.29309774
Honestly, I don't get your aesthetic issue with Tyrant Sun. It doesn't read as any more or less unsubtle or tacky than Nightmare Moon.
I mean, sure, Tyrant doesn't invoke the night like nightmare does, nor do you get that great pun/reference.

Of course, a corruption name would have to be connected to what they do and why. Nightmare Moon wanted eternal night. But Celestia isn't really just the day princess; for a thousand years she ruled both courts, and handled all duties. Even now, hers in the name ponies swear by. In the hearts and minds of her people, Celestia is the ruler of Equestria and pony kind, Luna's something like a deputy. (This is even reflected in their names, where Luna just means "moon" but Celestia refers to much more.)
The corruption route for her wouldn't be, "Peeps don't appreciate my day."
The route I tend to assume goes like, "Why must they repeat the same mistakes over and over. They say they love me, but they don't respect me enough to listen. I'll have to make them!"
It seems you like to imagine a route that's similar, but more about making it so that everybody can be happy, always, by forcing them into the classic Lotus Eater Machine situation.

I don't like using "star" in a corrupted-Celestia name, because while the Sun (like all suns) is a star, it honestly seems like there's good reason to believe that's not the case in horseworld.
I really like Sun (or maybe Heavens or a synonym for that, like Firmament) in the name because it maintains that parallel with Nightmare Moon, but Solar is good too.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:17:49 No.29309777
Wait, didn't we evolve from apes?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:20:12 No.29309782
I knew it. Anon is secretly a Saiyan.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:21:56 No.29309787
Yes we did, but we still have a vestigial tailbone.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:40:18 No.29309828
>instead of a furred monkey tail like the doctors expected anon's tail grew completely bald with a hard pointed tip
>Anon's got no problems and thinks it's pretty cool
>Uses it to spear fruit and such
>Seems to almost have a mind of it's own
>Anon sometimes is seen talking to it
>Makes pones extremely nervous when they are once again reminded that he's a eldritch alien

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:47:29 No.29309841
>Inb4 a morbidly obese stallion weeaboo cuts off his tail with a katana.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:52:42 No.29309853
Forgot my image.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:54:08 No.29309859
>In the pone version mare krillin used his teeth to bite through mare vageta's tail because pone can't weapon
>Years of eating soft food has left equestrian's with very little jaw strength
>A fatty morbidly obese mare just kinda latches onto anon's tail
>Anon panics and starts slamming his tail on the ground

Anonymous 2017-01-21 09:57:45 No.29309869
>Asian Anonymous
I laugh.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:10:31 No.29309894
"Heavens Below"?
"Tyrant Eternal"?
"Empress Galactic"? (cheesy and try-hard as NMM)
"Mother Dearest"?

I think it would have to be something along the lines of compelled obedience/love, or her all-encompassing nature.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:17:38 No.29309902
>You, one day, gets tired of all these offers from almost every mare you meet in the food service industry
>And the milkmare
>And the mailmare
>And the mare that brings food to work sometimes
>So you accept the next time
>The barista you see almost every morning offers
>You lean forward over the counter
"Yes, I would like some caramel drizzle in my coffee.
>You narrow your eyes
"The good stuff."
>You say it with a face that says "I dare you"
>She sputters for a moment before collecting herself
>"O-of course, give me a moment to...go get it from the back."
>You move along in the line and wait at the counter for a surprisingly short time before she shows back up
>"H-here you go, Anon"
>She's out of breath, sweating a little, her wings are slightly stiff, and her mane is slightly ruffled.
>"One black coffee with s-special caramel drizzle, just as sweet as I am!"
>You swipe it out of her hoof and stare at her for a moment
>She fidgets, but her eyes remain locked with yours
>The cup drifts up in your hand, widening her eyes the whole time
>You take a sip
>It actually is pretty sweet
>ALMOST tastes like caramel, but with a slight tang to it
"...Not bad."
>She lets out a held breath and slumps onto the counter for support
>You go and sit down with your morning paper
>You almost notice her dash into the back again despite the other customers, calling for the other mare that works here
>But there's this article on experimental weather the pegasi are researching, so you don't worry too much
>So you just sit there enjoying your coffee
>This just might be your new usual

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:18:34 No.29309903
>"There's an armed band heading our way, and they're lead by that heretic who's on all the wanted posters!"

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:18:42 No.29309905
>At lunch
>Little sandwich shop that just opened
>The mare at the register was another one of the mares who had been offering you "special" items
>She narrows her eyes at you when you get to the register, slightly scrunching her sniffer before going back to looking normal
>"Hiya, Anon! What'll you be having?"
"Hey Sweet Dill. I'll have the club sandwich today, with sweet tea."
>"Anything else you'd like on that sandwich, Anon? I could add my special ingredient," she asks, wiggling her eyebrows at you
"Please do."
>"Aw, you never--wait, what?"
"Go ahead, surprise me, Sweet."
>She stares at you for a moment, then her sister Sweet Tea almost knocks her over when she pushes her to talk to you
>"A-and the tea, too? We have a uh...a special sweeter we can use."
"Go ahead."
>Sweet Dill gets her bearings and shakes her head
>"Tell you what, Anon, this one's on the house. That way if you d-don't like it, you won't be short any bits."
>Free, huh?
>That gives you an idea
>An awful, sickening, wonderful idea
"Thanks gals. You know where I sit."
>Your food takes a decidely longer time to prepare than usual
>The both of them bring it out to your table
>"Here you are, Anon," one says
>"Just like you ordered," says the other
>They stare at you, waiting for you to try it
>You pick up the sandwich and take a bite

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:19:44 No.29309909
>You eye Dill as you chew
>Between the taste of the tofu, pickles, and cheese, you can taste the "secret" ingredient
>Huh, this isn't that bad either
>It actually makes the tofu taste...good
>You raise your eyebrows at her
"That's pretty good."
>"TRY THE--ahem--I mean, try the tea," her sister pipes up
>You pick up the glass, which has a subtle oiliness on the outside
>You stir the straw around in it for a moment, then take a sip
>It's sweeter than you thought it would be, but it's actually good too
>She leans forward as you drink, nearly falling face-first into your table, but her sister's leg catches her
>Neither of them have taken their eyes off of you
"Huh, I like it."
"Yeah, it adds a little extra...something to the taste."
>"Y-you know you c-could always get some of that s-straight from the ta-"
"I'm good with the sandwich and tea, thank you."
>"Oh. Okay...I um...I'm taking a break, Dill!"
>Tea sprints out the front door
>Dill watches her go, then turns back to you
>"Enjoy your meal, Anon."
>You eat dinner at home that night

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:20:46 No.29309912
>Next morning at breakfast there's a different mare working the register
>"Wuh, would you like some mocha syrup in your coffee today, Anon?"
>Her face looks like she's trying to look sexy
>"We just, uh, got it in today. Special brand."
>You peek around the dark brown mare to see her cutiemark
>A cup of hot chocolate with two marshmallows in it
>She fliches and nods her head.
>"I'll have to, uh..."
"'Get it from the back', I know. Go ahead."
>This time your regularly black coffee tastes kinda like chocolate
>But there's the slight tang in it, too
>This is pretty good as well
>"How is it? We're, uh, still not quite sure on how this brand...goes with black coffee."
>You can tell even through her coat she's sweating
>Rubbing her hoof on the back of her neck
>You take another sip, then look her straight in the eyes
"I give this brand a five out of ten. Could be an eight if it tasted more like chocolate, but I suppose this is all pretty new to you."
>"Oh. I'll try hard--I mean, I'll try a different brand next time."
>You nod
"Okay, I'll try it whenever you get it in."

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:21:47 No.29309914
>At lunch again
>Free again, of course
>These little marshmallow pones can't resist you asking after you agree to try out their "secret ingredients"
>Bonbon and Lyra show up on the other side of the little fence of the outside dining area
>"Hey Anon," Bonbon starts, "Lyra and I made you some candies."
>"Yeah, with our own secret ingredients!" Lyra joins in, floating a little bag of hard candies
>You narrow your eyes at them
"It's not spicy, is it?"
>"Just what kind of mares do you think we--" Bonbon sputters, but stops when you raise your eyebrows at her little outburst
>"No, no, nothing spicy Anon, heh," Lyra tries to save face, "But we...heard you might like them."
>You open the little bag, about ten candies with little wrappers are inside
>Each of them is color-matched to each mare
>"They're called, um..." Bonbon starts, but she blushes and goes silent
>"Gushers!" Lyra finishes, "They're gummy candies with, uh, fruit juice inside!"
"Oh, we used to have something like this back home. Thanks gals."
>"Are you going to try them?"
>You raise an eyebrow at them, but pull out one of each anyway
>First one matches Lyra's coat
>You unwrap and bite into it, a green gel around a little pocket of juice
>Tastes like kiwi, but there's some kind of undertaste to it that's a little bitter
>You raise your eyebrows in appreciation and move to open the other one
>Lyra looks like she wants to say something, but you shoot her a look and open the other one

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:24:41 No.29309919
>You take a swig of your "special" tea some new mare made
>It didn't add that much sweetness to it, too much tang
>You gave it a four.
>Bonbon's candy tastes like vanilla gel around a tangy blueberry center
>Huh, almost like blueberry pancakes
>Or even blueberry muffins
>It's quite good
>You swallow and look between them for a moment
"Hmm...Lyra, yours had a bitter aftertaste, so I'll give yours a 4/10, try harder next time."
>Her face wilts into a pout
"Bonbon, yours tasted just like a blueberry muffin, tangy and sweet. 9/10 would eat again."
>She beams and looks at Lyra with the smuggest grin you've ever seen on a pony's face
>Lyra begins to shout at the ratings
>"Four?! A four and she's a nine?! I made those with a special ingredient straight from my-"
>Bonbon sticks her hoof straight into Lyra's open mouth to stop her, glaring at her, then back to you with a smile
>"Heart! She made it with a lot of heart, Anon. Are you sure it's only a four?"
"Hey, I call them like I see them. If I'm not honest, how will you know who's got the best one?"
>"Th-those are your honest honest opinions on them?"
"Yup. I'm sure you two can come up with something to improve her recipe."


And done. What do you guys think? I can keep going on this one in the morning if it's acceptable, or just drop it if it's shit. I can definitely add more blatant RGRE elements to it, but as a new and insecure writefag I don't know if I should continue.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:27:41 No.29309923
You.... You....
I love it

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:28:29 No.29309924
Don't boop a pony during estrus.
Don't be in the same room as an unrestrained pony during estrus.

Twilight always spends her heats locked up in her own room, just to make sure she doesn't end up forcing herself on some poor colt. If you intrude in her one-room fortress, all that pent up sexual frustration will be unleashed on you.

Rarity is a textbook of weird and unconventional fetishes and isn't afraid to take the lead. Don't be in her presence unless you're brave, or have something to counter her magic.

Dash can swoop down from the clouds, pick up a stallion, and bring him back up to ravage his body before setting him back down. With this one you have to be careful outdoors.

Fluttershy Has Discord Is also pent up but the sheer force of her beta, shy personality keeps her in check. Don't expect much from her.

Applejack is a moral mare and will disguise her lust with anger and frustration, and will mostly be trying to vigorously occupy herself with her work. If she runs out of stuff to do, watch out.

Pinkie will suck you into another dimension where she will [DATA EXPUNGED] all over the [REDACTED] in your [DATA EXPUNGED] then [DATA EXPUNGED]. She can't really be avoided either and will seek you out if she really likes you. Board up your house.

HerdAnon 2017-01-21 10:33:19 No.29309931
>Be Anon.
>Apparently you have a tail now.
>For some reason some ponies have a weird a fixation with your tail.
>They just... Stare at it.
>Watch it.
>Are they scared of it?
>It's just a tail.
>Yeah you occasionally pick up a cup or something with it.
>It also helps when you give massages at work.
>It's kind of a at home job you do for ponies that need your hands to get out certain knots in their back out.
>You have Aloe and lotus send them your way and you give them 50%.
>Oh well.
>You don't really care much.
>Spitfire likes it so that's all that matters!
>You know what they say, a happy wifu is a happy lifu!
>Right now you are shopping for some lotion to try.
>Spitfire likes to get wing massages when she gets home.
>Right now you are talking with Aloe about the best lotion for wing massages.
>"Well personally from what I can tell the Pegasuses like this special blend me and my sister made." She says grabbing a bottle from under her counter.
>"Something about it makes the wings tingle in a good way." She says handing it to you to check for yourself.
>As she does you hear the bell to the shop ring.
>"Welcome, how may i help you today?" You hear Aloe ask.
>You sniff the lotion.
>Smells nice, that's always a good thing.
>Especially with how much Spitfire sweats at work.
>"Um, hello? May i help you?"
>Not that she smells bad but she could smell better.
>Especially when she trains the-
>You scream as you feel teeth sink into your tail.
>It feels worse than getting kicked in the dick!
>You panic and start slamming your tail up and down!
>After a bit of slamming it lets go.
>You turn to see a fat pony glaring at you.
>It's so fat you can't tell if it's a male or female!
>You got to ask it what's it's problem until it screams.
>"I'll defeat you for Equestria one day!" The blob of a pony yells before running away.
>You really hate weeaboo ponies...

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:34:46 No.29309933
>Board up your house.

For whatever good that will do you.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:35:10 No.29309935
>You turn to see a fat pony glaring at you.
>It's so fat you can't tell if it's a male or female!
That hot.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:37:18 No.29309938
Turns out its just ponies legit staying up all night mixing fruit juices together trying to impress him, anon lets it slip that he thinks they're cumming into his food.
Mares are brokenhearted thinking anon thinks they are all disgusting perverts because RGR.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:44:30 No.29309954
Yes. This. Someone make it happen please.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:49:25 No.29309974
This made my me come to a conclusion that i need more.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 10:56:40 No.29309993
>Anon gets a dog.
>He's the best doggy ever, yes he is, yes he is!
>Goes to show the only other dog owner he's friends with, Applejack.
>They talk about dogs while AJ tries to get into Anon's pants as usual.
>Suddenly they hear a whimper from outside.
>Anon rushes to check on his new best pupper buddy.
>Winona is literally raping him.
>AJ walks over and just chuckled.
>"Looks like Winona just snagged herself a male."
>Turns out even the animals adhere to RGRE.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 11:22:10 No.29310045
Pretty good, I liked that he started giving them ratings, and using mares only for their flavor is pretty amusing to me. I'm not sure where you will go from here, but I will be happy to find out.

> New writefag
That's kind of surprising, I didn't notice any grammatical or formating errors, and the dialogue felt natural and entertaining. Stick around, you're off to a good start.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 11:32:49 No.29310071
Do all Anons have some sort of defect where kicking and punching and pulling during the pony molestation
just doesn't occur to them? You think you could aim for the massive eyes or the tiny neck and bam, dead rapist.
This is counting on the idea he isn't a man whore who likes every bit of it

Anonymous 2017-01-21 11:40:32 No.29310099
There's no such thing as rape in the animal kingdom Anon. Only humans imposing their morals on animals.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 11:40:54 No.29310100
pretty sure most of them go with the "superman's world of cardboard" trope on that one. it's a subtle HFY concept that's worked it's way in to most of the stories here, where ponies are much shorter, smaller, weaker and all around cutesier than anon.
having never fought a pony before, how could anon know how NOT to commit murder?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 11:50:56 No.29310116
I've been thinking about the whole "friendship is magic" thing and Nightmare Moon. It seems like strong emotions have both magic associated with them, and a long half-life. My theory is that for ponies, they usually stay within a somewhat shallow motional range, but when they experience a deeper emotion, it sort of dominates their mind. Deep grudges like Nightmare Moon or Trixie's fixation on getting revenge on Twilight can grant them some power, but it warps their mental processes and they can't stop.
These monomaniacal states end with either the pony spiraling downward until they meet some end, or satisfying their emotional need, or getting blasted by the elements of harmony, a sort of emotional reset beam.
Love may be an exception to the monomania condition, but the love of two ponies was more powerful than Celestia.
Things like windigos might have been ponies in the past, but were literally consumed by their hatred, and turned into magical grudge-beings.
This is also a possible source of supervillains.
Sombra - Pride
Discord - Boredom
Tirek and Spike - Greed
Chrysalis - Jealousy/Envy

Enter Anon, who has no such monomaniacal state, while still living within the magical field that gives strong emotions power. While he is angry, or depressed, etc, he has a lot of spontaneous symoathetic magical phenomena happen around him, but he can get himself out of his funks, by sleeping if nothing else.
Twilight is confused. He is clearly a villain in the making, but he doesn't follow the schema she's used to, and even when the elements were used on him, it was only a temporary fix. It doesn't help that when he was deep in loneliness, he became the lewdest stallion, snuggling in public, irrestibly drawing mares to him.

Alright, I have fired my headcanon, you may now return to your regularly scheduled thread.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 11:59:33 No.29310137
> symoathetic
I meant sympathetic

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:05:14 No.29310152
Sounds good, may I use it for green?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:08:31 No.29310161

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:17:20 No.29310186
I now need an awkward run in of the girls seeing Anon bending Sunset over her Kitchen table as PoneTwi cheers them on. Whether or not they see him pump a bucket full of cum in her or not would be hot as shit(and funny) but I just need to see something like this happen.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:18:45 No.29310190

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:31:49 No.29310221
Good man.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:34:57 No.29310238
Unf, I cant wait to see what Sunset is going to do for him when she can feel her legs again. My bet would be her and Twi running an Eiffel Tower on him, with Anon breaking Twi while eating her out mercilessly, and Sunset doing everything she can to milk him dry, or until her pussy stinks of Anon's cum. I bet she would do it even if her other friends visited her, and would even brag about his dick fucking her silly.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:38:09 No.29310249
Anon walks into school with Sunset an Twilight glued to his arms. Literally glued to him though, their cum solidified and locked them together, they don't mind per say, they just need SciTwi to help fix the inconvenience so they can ruin the janitors closet during lunch.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:38:52 No.29310251
There is no God here.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:40:52 No.29310259
Bon Bon punting her carpet munching skills to the test when Anon ruins her when?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:46:08 No.29310273
Anon is the hero we need. And the shameless slut mares deserve.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:47:18 No.29310278
This...is actually pretty interesting, would the tail grow and eventually harden into a point with hair or fur growing up the side?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 12:52:31 No.29310287
It's like they think clean laundry just happens. Like, there are these magical horse elves that pick your dirty towels up off of the floor, make the bed, fold the linens and carry your cocoa cup to the sink. I blame their parents. #NotYourDad

Anonymous 2017-01-21 13:13:49 No.29310353
As alien as you can imagine

Anonymous 2017-01-21 13:15:02 No.29310360
Is this a reference to something?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 13:37:39 No.29310408
>Anon grows a tail
>It's one of those weird mutation one that's basically a useless tube of flesh

Anonymous 2017-01-21 13:37:48 No.29310409
>I owe my Papa everything. He found me on the streets of Manehattan begging for coins to put food in my tummy.
>It was always so cold and I was always hungry. My aunt was so mean to kick me out by myself. She called me useless and it hurt. I'm not useless, my papa told me so.
>He found me and brought me to his house in Ponyville. It was weird. The downstairs was completely decorated but the upstairs was filled with cobwebs and small crates and a bed.
>My room was nice though. I had a real bed with a matress and blankets and everything! There were two beds and >I hoped I had a sibling.
>He was so nice to me, my papa.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 13:39:38 No.29310413
I don't think so.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 13:41:22 No.29310415
So anon gets a free belt he'll never lose? sounds useful.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 13:49:01 No.29310426
nah, I understand, they both are about dreams, one willingly spun to our pleasure, other unwillingly spun to our displeasure and fear.

It fits Celly character too, her evil version being so manipulative and feeding your mind so much misinformation that you WANT her to be in power. Whole nation in perpetual state of haze, glossy eyes, thoughts flowing freely, but never in the present. Global brainwash resulting in mindlessly happy ponies.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 14:14:35 No.29310476
Goddamn, I think I've rubbed a blister on my clit.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 14:51:23 No.29310574
I'm sorry, Anon, but I don't watch fanfiction. I READ fanfiction, which is why I'm here.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 14:53:08 No.29310579
Why does Applejack look like a tired old lady in that photo?
>"Do you like my fake teeth, sonny? I got them brand new, and now my grandson doesn't have to chew my food for me."

Anonymous 2017-01-21 15:00:43 No.29310602
We have a common ancestor with either apes or monkeys; I can't remember which.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 15:06:14 No.29310617

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:19:01 No.29310656
I have a little update for Goosebumps for anyone that still remembers the green.
>”Then wouldn’t you know it he just up and left the poor dear at the altar, everyone was soo very disappointed.”
“So he just up and left her because some mare that he’s never even met offered to shower him with everything he ever wanted?”
>Quill only nodded in the affirmative.
>”Stallions nowadays are way to materialistic if you ask me. They only think about themselves, whatever happened to being the stone under your mare’s hooves?”
>Quill had just finished telling you about his poor niece.
>The girl sounded like a nice mare who got left at the altar by an asshole.
>Shaking his head as he finished recounting the story he took a dainty sip of the overly large espresso.
“Not really sure what happened but then again I’m from a completely different world.”
>”Oh I know how detached you writers can feel.”
“No not that, I’m actually from another world.”
>”I’m sorry dear I don’t think I follow.”
“Long story short I come from another world, we have ponies there but none are sapient.”
>Your new friend was giving you a skeptical look as you continued.
“Humans are the only sapient creatures there.”
>”What about minautors?”
“There are some myths but scientifically they do not exist where I come from.”
>”What about Gryphons? Yaks?”
“We have Yaks. I’m pretty sure we do anyway.”
>He continued to list off different races of creatures to which you continued shaking your head in the negative.
>”That’s fascinating, it must have been a real shock when you came here then.”
“It was a bit of a culture shock but I got over it quick enough. Everyone here was pretty supportive.”
>A thoughtful hum came from the stallion.
>”What about the females from your world, what were they like?”

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:20:03 No.29310663
“Just imagine this place, but the colts are the mares and vice versa.”
>”Oh come now Anon, stop pulling my tail.”
“That’s the truth, women are the fairer sex there.”
>”By Celestia, how in Equestria does courting work then? If a mare can’t support a colt then how-“
“Again it’s backwards, it’s the guys role to court the woman.”
>The talk continued with Quill becoming more astonished and confused as you continued.
>Looking down at your watch you noted that this little stop had gone on a little longer than initially expected.
>The two of you had been chatting for at least two hours now.
>Without a doubt Yearling and her mom would be wondering where you both were.
>Not that it wasn’t enjoyable but it had definitely been a long and to be quite honest you really wanted to get back to your home away from home and sleep.
>And food. You were feeling really hungry and the spa didn’t offer any food that you could actually eat.
“Maybe we should head back.”
>”My word we have been out for a while now, the misses might be upset otherwise and I wouldn’t want my daughter to worry about you either.”
“I sincerely doubt she’d be all to worried about me.”
>Looks like the whole talk about you not really being with her went in one ear and out the other.

>Opening the door you let yourself in.
>Quill had departed for the hotel mentioning something about freshening up.
“Hey we’re back from the spa… thing, your dad said he was going to the hotel where they’re staying… are you okay?”
>Yearling lay on the couch, her head under a pillow no doubt in an effort to drown out the real world.
>”Please just end my life.”
“Things went that bad?”

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:21:05 No.29310667
>”No things went just peachy. Who doesn’t enjoy getting the ‘Talk’ from their parents when they’re already an adult.”
>So it did go that bad.
“How about a nice cup of chamomile tea, that should help a little.”
>Yearling only waved her hoof all the while refusing to face the world and finding solace in the peace afforded to her by the pillow.
>Filling up the kettle you reflected back on the day.
>Quill was a nice guy and honestly besides the way stallions were a little more flamboyant you wouldn’t mind hanging out with him again.
>You could really use some guy friends.
>The odd thing about it was the little thing you had going with Yearling.
>Leaning against the counter you tried to sort the jumbled mess of thoughts.
>This thing you two had, whatever it was, couldn’t really be called a relationship.
>You two weren’t dating.
>Far from it. This thing was just for the press and the project was the most important thing on both your plates.
>Not to say she wasn’t an attractive mare.
>And the way she got flustered whenever you decided to have a little fun at her expense always brought a smile to your face.
>The whistling of the kettle brought you out of your thoughts.
>Pouring the hot water into two cups you carried them out to the living room.
>Yearling was still hidden in her little pillow world.
>She didn’t even make an effort to come out when you sat on the couch and set the cups down on the table.
“The tea’s here, be careful though it’s really hot.”
>A muffled “Okay” was the sole response.
>Slowly a flustered looking Yearling came out from beneath the cushion.
>Her mane frazzled and pointing in odd directions.

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:22:08 No.29310671
>You tried your very best to keep back from laughing at how she looked.
>You failed.
“Haha you look ridiculous!”
>”Go buck yourself you butt!”
“Language Yearling, what would your mother say?”
>”She’s probably ask my where you disappeared to and why it looked like I buried something in the backyard.”
“Your words wound me so.”
>”Me hitting you with a shovel would probably hurt a whole lot more.”
“Sticks and stones Yearling.”
>”Yeah I’ll use those too if you don’t shut it.”
“That’s not what I- forget it, never mind.”
>Picking up the mug she took a big gulp of the steaming hot tea.
>After swallowing she let out a deep satisfied hum.
>”I needed that.”
“Feel better?”
>”Slightly. Though with my parents being here for the next couple of days I’m probably either going to die or go insane. If Celestia is merciful maybe a quick and painless death’s in my future.”
“Isn’t that a little much. They are your parents after all.”
>Quirking an eyebrow Yearling set the cup down and turned to face you.
>”What I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave this room. Got it?”
>Nodding you motioned for her to go on.
>”For the past ten years my parents have not let me live down the fact that I haven’t found a stallion yet.”
>Yearling face was graced with a scowl as she continued.
>”Never mind the fact that I was a bestselling author. Nooo none of that matters, I’m not a mare unless I settle down and have some foals.”

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:23:10 No.29310680
“Have you told them any of this? I’m sure they would listen.”
>”Multiple times, but they don’t care. They want me to settle down and have home with a stallion waiting for me when I get off of work.”
>The scowl was replaced with a resigned expression.
>The way she looked it looked like the weight of the world was on her shoulders.
“So you have one of two options here, at least the way I see it. You either convince your parents that you’re in charge of your life or-“
“Or you find a stallion to settle down with and get them off your back.”
>Yearling gave you a look that all about said what she thought of your idea.
>”That has to be the most idiotic idea that has come out of your mouth and trust me that means a lot.”
“Like I said that’s just my opinion.”
>”Well it’s a stupid one.”
>Yearling let out a long yawn and stretched, much like a cat would.
>”I’m going to sleep. My parents might be in town but we still got work to do.”
“Yup goodnight.”
>Yearling trotted off upstairs while you still remained seated.
>She had it tough. No doubt your own parents would have probably been on your case as well if you were in her proverbial shoes.
>You’d help her with this, one way or another.

>You were having a nice dream.
>In it you were receiving an award for your writing and ponies were asking for your autograph.
>To top it off you got that “Worlds Best Author” mug you saw at the novelty shop a few days ago.
>That thing was going to look great next to your typewriter, it would tie everything together so well.
>But a certain shaking cut that nice little dreamscape short.
>”Wake up you idiot.”

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:24:12 No.29310682
“Hwua? Yearling? What time is it?”
>Rolling over you turned on the lamp on the bedside table.
>The light pierced the darkness and revealed a grinning Yearling.
>You don’t know why but it unsettled you.
>”It’s midnight. But I got it!”
“Got what?”
>”An answer to my problem with my parents.”
“Why do I have a feeling this isn’t something I’m going to like.”
>”Oh be quiet. We’re going to get engaged.”
>So you weren’t awake, this was still all a dream. A nightmare to be more precise.
>Staring at Yearling in confusion you shook your head.
“Care to run that by me again? I think I’m not awake enough and it sounded like you were saying something really silly.”
>Jumping onto the bed Yearling stood intimaditingly over you.
>”You heard me. We’re getting engaged, why didn’t I think of this sooner.”
“Not to rain on your parade, but this sounds like a horrible idea.”
>Pushing the light pony off of you, you sat up.
“Maybe it’s because of the fact that no one would buy it especially your parents or possibly because we’re nowhere near to even being close enough to be considered engaged.”
>”That’s the beauty of it. We get engaged, it gets my parents off my case and you get to say you’re engaged to the best writer in the world.”
“Allow me to contain my enthusiasm.”
>”Can’t you be serious for one second.”
“I’ll be serious when you stop spouting crazy ideas. You cannot imagine how badly this idea can go.”
>”I fail to see how this can go wrong?”
“How about the fact that when two people get engaged they’re usually in love and they’re expected to eventually get married.”

Anonymous 2017-01-21 15:24:57 No.29310683
>Hurting a poner
You monster.

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:25:14 No.29310684
>”We’ll just make it a long engagement and break it off after a couple of years.”
“Years!? Have you gone completely mental?”
>”Oh stop being so melodramatic. You owe me for that little stunt at the gala.”
“What the hell are you talking about? What stunt?”
>”Parading me in front of all those reporters after I passed out. Don’t think I didn’t put two and two together.”
>Damn you observant pony.
“What if I meet the mare of my dreams and want to be with her?”
>Yearling laughed loudly at that.
>”Oh come, now who’s talking crazy.”
>That actually hurt your pride a little.
>”So it’s settled. Tomorrow we tell my parents and then let the publisher in on the news to make the announcement.”
“Why do we have to make it public, why not just tell your parents and leave it at that?”
>“You underestimate my parents, we have to make it appear as real as possible.”
“Fine, but I’m telling you this is a horrible idea and will probably backfire in a very unpleasant way.”
>”Will you stop being such a sissy colt it will be fine.”
“I’m not wearing this.”
>”Yes you are so stop your whining.”
>Looking down at the counter you peered at the lone ring within the case.
>An engagement ring.
>The thing was studded with multiple jewels and looked like something out of a 1950’s cheesy romantic film.
>”This one comes all the way from Gryphonia. Each stone was carefully selected and polished. Good day to you both, my name is Green Mile.”
>The stallion who’s coloration matched his name was sporting a big smile and looking at both of you.
>”So should I wrap that up for you?”

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:26:16 No.29310685
>Looking over at the stallion you were ready to nip that right in the bud.
“Do you have anything that’s not so-“
>”Oh dearie, is it out of your price range?”
“No not that, it’s just this thing is pretty.. gay.”
>”I don’t understand?”
“How about a plain band. Have any of those?”
>”Hold on one second sir, I’ll check in the back.”
>The stallion walked towards the door in back of the store which left you all alone with Yearling.
>”What was wrong with that engagement ring? I heard a bunch of colts at the publisher gushing about it, I thought you’d like it.”
“I appreciate the thought but have you already forgotten that we aren’t really engaged already? Why spend that kind of money on something that doesn’t mean anything.”
>”Maybe because I’m trying to make this as believable as possible.”
“Them how about you at least let me pick the thing out.”
>”Sure whatever. But make it quick, we got to get back to the house before my parents get there.”
>Yeah because explaining this to her parents was going to go swell.
>Especially after the chat you and Quill had before.
>He was going to get his hopes up again right after you finished diffusing that situation.
>Dammit all this bullcrap was giving you a headache.
>”And here we are.”
>The stallion from earlier returned and set a stand with several gold bands.
>Most of them were just simple gold and silver bands along with several made from stuff you didn’t know.
>”These are the simple rings for those on a budget. Are you sure I can’t show you some of our newer rings? We just got this wonderful shipment from Neighvada.”
>Neighvada, you can’t be serious. Damn ponies and their puns.
>You spotted one gold band in the sea of fancy rings that looked like it might fit.

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:27:18 No.29310688
“Nah don’t worry about it, this one will work.”
>”If you say so sir, how will you be paying for this ma’am?”
>The stallion turned to Yearling as he finished talking.
>”Just send the bill here.”
>She slapped down a piece of paper which sported her home address.
>Putting the ring on you simply looked at it.
>So you two were engaged. God help you.
>For some reason wearing it felt strange to you. Like an odd accessory that almost didn’t belong.
>You never were one for wearing any kind of jewelry.
>”Come let’s hurry back. Remember when they come over we make the announcement and you smile and say that you’re happy.”
>Both of you walked out the jewelers and began your short walk home.
“Can’t we just tell them the truth and help them see that you’re a responsible adult who can make their own decisions?”
>”No now shut up.”
>You’re starting to miss the old Yearling which only looked at you as if you were a waste of life.
>That Yearling didn’t pull you into these types of situations.

>Yearlings parents were both seated in the living room and chatting happily with Yearling.
>You ducked out of there the moment they arrived to make some coffee for everyone.
>It was a good excuse as any to limit the amount of time you’d have to be there.
>Maybe Yearling would even reconsider this hatch brained idea of hers and go with the sensible option.
>”Anon could you come here for a moment.”
>Please don’t make me do this.
>Was running back to Ponyville still a possibility at this point?
“Be there in a second.”

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:28:20 No.29310691
>Putting the cups on the tray you headed back into the fray.
>The little voice in the back of your head was screaming at you to turn around and run for the hills the moment you crossed the threshold into the living room.
>Both Script, whom managed to introduce herself before you fled to the relative safety of the kitchen and Quill were both looking at you expectantly.
“Did I miss something?”
>”Anonymous how could you!?”
>”And here I thought we bonded yesterday. You rapscallion you, you were just trying to fool me with all that just friends talk.”
“I was?”
>”Now honey, I just told my parents about how I asked for your hoof in marriage.”
>Honey? Hoof?
“I don’t have hooves.”
>”Hands, whatever. Now come sit.”
>Maybe you could still make a break for it if you were fast enough.
>There was a slight possibility that you could outrun them if you gave it your all.
>Visibly uncomfortable with this situation you still managed to take a seat right beside Yearling.
“Yes?” You answered way too quickly.
>”I know my daughter isn’t exactly a proper mare.”
>With a severe anger management problem.
>”But I raised her to treat a stallion right. You’ll make a fine addition to the family.”
>Turning to face Yearling you found her twiddling her hooves together and refusing to look up from the ground.
“Thanks I guess.”
>”Now show us the ring!”

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:29:22 No.29310697
>Quill was jumping up and down giddily in his seat.
>Perhaps you shouldn’t have made coffee, any more energy and this guy would be bouncing off the walls.
>Holding up your hand you let them see the ring that was the centerpiece of this fallacy.
>”Yes father?”
>”I expected better of you. It’s such a simple thing I thought I raised you better than-“
“Quill It’s not her fault. She wanted to get me the most expensive one in the store, I asked for this one.”
>”You did? Why?”
“I’m not much for flashy stuff, this one’s more in line with what I wanted.”
>”If you say so.”
>No you really don’t say so since you’d rather not be doing this in the first place.
>”So have you two done it yet?”
>Yearling wasn’t drinking the coffee you made but certainly spit out something at that.
>You however felt something wash over you.
>A feeling along the lines of disbelief and … shock?
>Was shock the right word for it, you’re not really sure.
>”What? I’m only asking if we should expect the little patter of hooves in the near future.
“Yearling and I are too busy with work right now to even think about that.”
>”Well don’t wait too long, I’d like to be a grandmother before I get too old to spoil them rotten.”
>You’ll be waiting for a long time.
>You were right to think that things would start turning sour with this whole plan.
>Not even a day and talk of kids had already come up.
>Leaning down to Yearlings ear you tried to keep your voice as low as possible.
“Just so you know if I ever end up going to a psychiatrist for this you’re going to be footing the bill.”

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:30:24 No.29310700
>”I’ll get you the best money can buy so stop your whining.”
“It’s not whining, it’s constructive criticism and here’s a little more of it. This is fucking insane.”

>You must have done something right to please the goddesses above if the note on your desk was any indication.
>Your secretary had the note waiting for you the moment you walked through the door this morning.
>At first glance you thought it was another complaint from one of the many authors who called you their publisher.
>But nope.
>It was something entirely different.
>The past few months were just one set of good news after the next, finding Anonymous, him and Yearling co-authoring the next biggest hit.
>And now they were engaged.
>Ah young love.
>Was there anything ever sweeter?
“Quick Note send a note to the PR team and have them get a hold of every reporter.”
>”Yes ma’am.”
>The publicity from this was going to makes sales skyrocket!
>The only thing that could make this better…
>Opening the desk drawer you stuck a hoof in and searched for your goal.
>Sweet Celestia!
>Pulling out the box of crisps you leaned back in your chair and began to indulge yourself.
>You deserve this for being the damn best publisher in the world.

>Quill kept pace with you as you both headed back to the hotel.
>”What a day.”

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:31:27 No.29310706
“You can say that again honey. Though didn’t you find the suddenness of this announcement a bit peculiar?”
>”So you didn’t buy any of it either?”
“Not even a little. Our daughter still thinks she can pull a fast one on us like when she tried hiding those playcolt magazines under her bed.”
>”Oh I remember, ‘I’m just holding them for a friend honest!’ our little girl couldn’t lie to save her life.”
>It’s true, Yearling no matter how grownup she thought she was, was still the clumsy little filly that couldn’t talk to a colt without stuttering.
>As for her “fiancée”-
>”Do you think Anon’s had a part in this scheme of hers?”
“Somehow I don’t think he did, then again stallions are capable of some sneaky things.”
>Quill grinned knowingly.
>”What ever do you mean sweetheart, I’ll have you know I’ve always been on the up and up.”
“You’re a horrible liar you know that?”
>”I never lie, stretch the truth possibly, but I have never told a lie in my life. Anon, from what little time we spent together doesn’t really seem the type.”
>That stallion was odd and as far from what passed as marriage material as a diamond dog.
“I think I have a wonderful idea on what we could do about this situation.”
>”What did you have in mind?”
>You could tell by his tone that your husband was interested.
>The plan began forming in your mind.
>You loved your daughter very much and truly did want to see her happy, any parent would want that for their kids after all.
>This stunt of hers however was going just a little too far and pulling Anonymous into this was putting a hoof over the line.
“If our little girl wants to get married, I say we let her get married.”
>”I don’t follow.”
>Your husband looked confused at your plan.

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:32:29 No.29310713
>”Isn’t that what she said she’s doing anyway?”
>Poor colt, he was always a little slow on the uptake.
“Let me rephrase that. If Yearling wants to get married I think we should take charge of the situation and get the wedding ready.”
>”Are you sure? Didn’t they just get engaged?”
“Short engagements are quite popular right now.”
>”They are? None of my friends told me about that and you know Hopper, he’s all abuzz about anything to do with weddings.”
>Feeling your eye twitch at how clueless your husband was you shook your head.
“You know what, just never mind. Follow my lead here and it will all work.”

>It was quiet.
>Peering through the window you eyed the passing ponies.
>Way too quiet.
>Mother and Father were still in town.
>They wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye. So where were they?
>”Yearling what did you do with all the paper I bought the other day? I can’t find it anywhere.”
>Damn colt, can’t you see I’m busy here.
>”Forget it, I found it. Now where’s that chapter you wrote?”
“In the same darn place where all the other ones are. Now will you just be quiet.”
>Anon appeared in the doorway to your writing room looking confused.
>”What crawled up your butt today? You’re being more bitchy than usual.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
>“See you saying that has the opposite effect, now I’m worried.”
“It’s quiet.”
>”So? It’s still early, everyone is still sleeping probably.”

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:33:30 No.29310723
”That’s not what I’m trying to say. Knowing my parents they would have been here first thing to cause me a headache first thing.”
>”You’re being paranoid. Now we have a lot of work to get done on the book.”
>Stepping behind you Anon proceeded to push you towards the writing room all the while you did your very best to plant your hooves.
“Hey knock it off!”
>”No can do, writing first, death threats later.”
>No sooner were you in the room did he pick you up and place you in your seat.
>Frowning at how overly friendly he was getting you looked at your typewriter.
>As much as you hated him at the moment he was right.
>You needed to get back to work. Writing always calmed you down and let you think.
>”I’ll review this chapter while you start on the next. Yearling?”
>Did your parents buy the engagement? What if they doubted it?
>”Yearling, earth to- wait no, Equestria to Yearling? Yeah that makes more sense here.”
“What now?”
>”I was trying to say that you should start on the next chapter.”
>Nodding you began, yet you still felt Anon’s piercing gaze on you.
“Maybe you should take some of your own advice and work on your part of the book.”
>With that you saw him begin reading some of the pages occasionally scribbling something with a pencil.
>Maybe he was right, perhaps you were over thinking on the situation.
>Sneaking a glance back at him your eyes locked on the ring which rested on his finger.
>This was really happening wasn’t it.

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 15:35:14 No.29310730
And done for now. Pastebin's updated http://pastebin.com/ivLcbi1h

Anonymous 2017-01-21 15:36:40 No.29310734
Twilight would have no problem being permanently attached to her stallion with glue made out of cum. She probably gets off to it.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 15:38:37 No.29310740
I'm totally glad this story isn't ded. It's one of my favorites.
All of my other favorites are ded though.

I just realized that Anon is still calling her Yearling. Seems like if they were getting married, he'd be calling her A.K. Or at least whatever the A. stands for.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 15:40:29 No.29310746
>The downstairs was completely decorated but the upstairs was filled with cobwebs and small crates and a bed.
>There were two beds and >I hoped I had a sibling.

Why am I getting uneasy vibes from these parts? Sweet story otherwise.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 15:50:53 No.29310779
Her first name is Automatic.
Automatic Kalashnikov Yearling.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 16:09:41 No.29310833

Anonymous 2017-01-21 16:10:46 No.29310840
>Auto capitalize
I gonna find a rope.

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 16:17:15 No.29310877
I'm glad you like it. I will finish it but I have a bad habit of rushing endings which I'm trying my best to avoid with this one. So while updates might be slow I hope to actually have decent ending.

As for the name issue, it's something that will be addressed in the next update.

Which ones are your favorites?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 16:24:45 No.29310910
Not bad mang

Anonymous 2017-01-21 16:26:01 No.29310918
>>”An answer to my problem with my parents.”
>"I'm going to buy a mail-order husband from horse-Russia."

Anonymous 2017-01-21 16:36:20 No.29310958
sounds about right

Anonymous 2017-01-21 16:59:29 No.29311045
Actually, it's Anonymous Killer Yearling.
She just doesn't want him to know... yet.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 17:16:13 No.29311101
Just a comment, but is there supposed to be a time gap is this section?

“Fine, but I’m telling you this is a horrible idea and will probably backfire in a very unpleasant way.”
>”Will you stop being such a sissy colt it will be fine.”
“I’m not wearing this.”
>”Yes you are so stop your whining.”
>Looking down at the counter you peered at the lone ring within the case.

It seems like we go from midnight to a jewelry store in no time.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 17:21:02 No.29311113
No we have a common evolutionary ancestor

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 17:21:51 No.29311116
There is, not really sure why it didn't get the break when I pasted it. I'll make sure it's fixed in the bin.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 18:29:27 No.29311424
Man, I love gushers.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 18:30:38 No.29311432
>Ponies using decidedly non-pony objects

Anonymous 2017-01-21 18:31:14 No.29311435
This shit's great. More.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 18:34:35 No.29311451
You've got talent, mare.

What happens when Anon meets that elusive 10/10?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 18:41:18 No.29311491
>Mark on the shirt.
>The annoyance when you have to do the nice thing and take Rainbow's trashed monogamous bf home.
>The frustration when you know she's going to get sloppy drunken sex just for being home while you get a mumbled "thanks." and a return trip to your cold, lonely bed.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 18:43:13 No.29311501
Got an idea if any one wants to take it.

Equestria has no real anti sex laws, just just 'don't fuck the kids' laws.

So estrous hits. All the guys have fucked off for a week, because they are rgre and kind of pussies, they cant handle one week of extremely horney (not rapey) mares.

Anon decides to be an asshole, and decides this week is when he does all his masterbating in public

I think it could make a funny short if nothing else.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 18:46:21 No.29311518
Estrus, being regulated by the sun and thus Celestia herself, is more official than natural in Equestria. Special laws go into effect during Estrus weeks, as well as it being a state holiday for all mares.

Rape is somewhat legalized during Estrus if a mare can't control herself.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 18:47:26 No.29311524
>Anon's actually single
>But not for long
>Lyra's surprised when he tells her he's met someone
>The Rainbow Dash shirt was just a gift, not a mark of ownership
>She could have been fucking Anon the whole time
>But not anymore now that he's actually taken

Anonymous 2017-01-21 18:51:19 No.29311546

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:14:20 No.29311669
It's really hard to root for asshole characters that do nothing to redeem themselves.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:21:44 No.29311713
The animals of Equestria are clearly smarter than real animals.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:23:28 No.29311726
I always thought the Equestrian equivalent would be called Urssia. A land full of talking bears.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:26:19 No.29311741
>You owe me for that little stunt at the gala.
except he doesnt owe her shit
they hate each other

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:27:42 No.29311750
Sunset testing if Anon can pop a condom with one round of sex in her scene when?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:28:06 No.29311752
Your grammar still reads pretty poorly, man.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:31:11 No.29311765

Fuck that noise, she's been nothing but a cunt the whole goddamn story!

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:33:06 No.29311778
Nerds, no sense of normalcy. She didn't even think of fucking till her pussy sticks to his dick...until Pinkie made a joke.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:34:13 No.29311785
Not cunt RGRE Yearling when?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:40:42 No.29311813

I've been really enjoying your recent one-shots.

>dat soft continuity between the two with Spitfire

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:53:18 No.29311874
>tfw no pregnant wonderbolt waifu

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:54:49 No.29311882
hey HeliAnon, is there by chance anywhere else you can host To RGRE and Back Again? The site it's hosted at now gives me all sorts of malware warnings.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 19:59:10 No.29311896
This. Good story, but it reads like the narrator took a big breath and spoke an entire paragraph as one single sentence.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:01:50 No.29311909
I want this bad.

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 20:01:54 No.29311910
Not trying to be a dick here, but saying that my grammar sucks is a blanket statement. What sucks about it? Which parts were grammatically wrong? Please point them out. I try to revise as much as possible to make this stuff readable but I still make mistakes. If you can point out specifics where the issues lay, I would happily take the criticism and work to improve on those problems. Thank you for at least bringing the problems up, but a little more information will help me make this story better for you and others.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:03:39 No.29311915
>"First time drunk in Equestria, Anon?"
>"Well, since I'm doing you a favor, you gotta do me a favor"
>"You gotta give me some face"
"Like kissing you or something?"
>"No, no, kissing is for your marefriend. I mean you gotta go down on me before I take you home. You know, make it worth my while."
"I'll just walk"
>"It's twelve miles, Anon."
"I'll take a cab"
>"You spent all your money on drinks. C'mon, it's not that big a deal, and I'm sure you'll be quick about it."
"F-fine, get back here..."
>Lyra makes Anon drink a large coffee afterwards to hide the smell
>Tells Dash he smells like her and Bonbon because they had to carry him home after he caught the two of them in her car
>Anon doesn't remember anything, but Lyra will never forget

HeliAnon 2017-01-21 20:04:50 No.29311919
I'll see about finding a new host and upload it.

Fair point. I just have to figure out how to overcome that.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:12:53 No.29311955
>stallion justice warriors in Equestria
>they point out the racial inequality in Wonderbolts
>how comes only pegasi are allowed in their ranks?
>start actual protest against it
>Celestia regrets abolishing the death penalty

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:14:36 No.29311962
There are some hollows under her eyes, but that makes her seem more tired all fuckered out maybe than old.


Our nearest common ancestor with an extant species is with chimpanzees, a kind of ape.
Sometimes people say "humans evolved from chimpanzees" which isn't quite accurate. Our common ancestor may have been a little more chimpanzee like than human like, but if you used a time machine to nab one, it would not be able to interbreed with a chimp.

Humans, chimpanzees, gorillas, bonobos, orangutans, and maybe one or two other things (you know, the apes) share a common ancestor, and that common ancestor shares an ancestor with all monkeys.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:25:26 No.29312010
I wouldn't have guessed you're new. You seem like you have experience. Everything is real clean and reads great.

I loved it honestly. It needs to advance somehow if you keep going though.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:39:16 No.29312065

I'm not the Anon you're quoting, btw.

I'm preparing my anus for when every Anon in this thread (and several from other threads) collectively tear me a new one when it turns out that everything I'm about to say is completely wrong and incorrect.

The way you describe things are good. The way you pace yourself is good. The way your characters interact is mostly natural. Your weakness is that you frequently use run-on sentences or else fail to use a comma when necessary. Failure to use a comma mostly occurs in situations where it would feel natural to pause if one were to speak the offending line out loud.

For example: >>29310723
“Hey knock it off!”
This is a spoken line that a character is saying. It should have pauses where one would naturally pause (to take a breath, to separate subjects, etc). "Hey" would be its own thing (a reactionary yelp), and "knock it off!" would be a follow-up. Thus, there should be a comma (or maybe even an exclamation mark) in between "Hey" and "knock it off!". A better way to have written this line would be

"Hey, knock it off!"
"Hey! Knock it off!"

The following line of ”No can do, writing first, death threats later.” has a similar problem with separating parts/subjects of the sentence properly. "No can do" is the main subject from which "writing first, death threats later." follows. Anon is expanding on his explanation of "No can do" by providing "writing first, death threats later" as further explanation. It would be better to put either a semicolon after "No can do" and have "writing first, death threats later" as its own sentence.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:39:50 No.29312068
Aw hell yeah.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:40:18 No.29312071
"No can do; writing first, death threats later."

Semicolons are used to separate sentences whose subjects are related, but would be grammatically incorrect to use a comma to connect them.

>"Anon likes meat; Fluttershy likes salad."

>With that you saw him begin reading some of the pages occasionally scribbling something with a pencil.
"With that" should have a comma between "that" and "you". This is because "that" (which refers to the events of the previous line) is its own subject and leads onto the events that follow in the sentence. There should probably be an "and" in between "pages" and "occasionally", because "reading some pages" and "occasionally scribbling" are two separate subjects. "reading some pages" comes first and so that is the main focus, or the main thing that Anon is doing.

By that I mean, "You saw him occasionally scribbling something with a pencil and read some of the pages" makes it sound like Anon is scribbling with a pencil first and foremost, and that reading something is something he does when he's not scribbling.

So, the sentence should be "With that, you saw him begin reading some of the pages and occasionally scribbling something with a pencil.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:41:38 No.29312079
I won't lie, HeliAnon. I can't remember why exactly I want to say that you should change "occasionally scribbling" to "occasionally scribble" (or change "begin reading" to "begin to read"), but it feels right. Maybe some other Anon can tell me why you should do this (or why I'm actually completely wrong). Thus, "With that you saw him begin reading some of the pages occasionally scribbling something with a pencil." should be either:

"With that, you saw him begin reading some of the pages and occasionally scribbling something with a pencil."
"With that, you saw him begin to read some of the pages and occasionally scribble something with a pencil."

Your story is good, HeliAnon, but your writing can improve. Don't give up; keep practicing. Thank you for putting up with my autism. Please feel free to call me a faggot if nothing I've said was right. I eagerly await for someone to go through these posts and and point out all the times I broke the rules of grammar that I've been laying down and all the times I misused a semicolon while explaining how to use a semicolon.

I get nervous when I try to explain things to people, alright?

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:43:38 No.29312094
>all fuckered out

Anonymous 2017-01-21 20:44:00 No.29312097
>Your weakness is that you frequently use run-on sentences or else fail to use a comma when necessary
That sums it up pretty well right there.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 21:08:54 No.29312209
>>29312065 is right,
You are not really making notable grammar errors (which would be much easier to find and critique).
I mean, you have some.
Line 928 and 1265, both should be "who" not "whom". You also have a number of two dot "ellipses" that should be three. 1325 "makes" should be "make".
But those really approach irrelevant on a quality of writing level.

I say this as someone that quite likes your writing (It Gives Me Goosebumps is definitely in my top ten RGR greens), but while higher levels ("paragraph", scene, plot and themes and characters) are all quite solid, your sentences are occasionally missing a good, natural flow.
Unfortunately, this is slightly past the easier problem domain of, "make bad prose not bad."

If you feel like taking this or your next update to the writing guild I might do a post or three with some sentence by sentence examples of how they could be different, but sometimes that's not easy to learn from.

I was recently reminded of a good trick that can help sometimes.
Once you've written a section, try reading it out loud to yourself in a good, clear voice (no whispering or mumbling).
Listening to the actual words can really give you a good idea of when something sounds awkward; when words aren't in the best order, when you use a word that isn't quite right, etc.
(On the other hand, don't rely on this alone. Sometimes you will add tone to your voice that makes something sound great, but without words that indicate that tone to the reader.)

Aside from that I can only give the slightly cop out advice to read more (and lots of variety), and a little more actively, paying attention to word choices and punctuation.

Anonymous 2017-01-21 21:32:04 No.29312346
You're right in that that's a perfect place for a semi-colon.

For the next sentence, I feel like you're on the right track with this, but I don't think it's entirely punctuation that makes that sentence sound clunky.

>With that you saw him begin reading some of the pages occasionally scribbling something with a pencil.

Part of it is word pacing. "with that" suggests an immediately coupled action, but the "you saw" followed by an idea large enough it needs two parts is very slow to read.
In fact, because, I wouldn't add punctuation after, "With that". Though clearly there needs to be an "and" or a comma after "pages". I'd go with comma, because it's lighter, and makes it more like one activity (which it is).
In fact, to bring that home I'd recommend changing "reading" to something more active; "reviewing" or "scanning" would be good.
"Some" and "something" also weaken the sentence. Avoid vagueness unless it serves a purpose. Use "sheaf," "stack," or "handful", or even just change the phrase to "chapter" or "draft" to make it explicit; use "scribbling notes," "edits," or "revisions".
In fact, moving the mention of papers would help a lot too. Maybe the pencil or maybe not. He says "I'll start reviewing this chapter," which implies he already has the paper. But to improve clarity, you could establish it with a description there:
>He waved a thin bundle of paper.
>"I'll start reviewing this chapter while you start on the next."
Of course, if you do that, you probably need to change the verb back to "reading", to firmly tie it to paper again.
(Oh, you should also definitely add more space before he says "Yearling?" to catch her attention. Either add some verbal space filler, like, "Uhm, Yearling?" or add a line of her internal monologue, to demonstrate that she's not paying attention.)

So here's one example that I think is better:
>With that he begins poring over the draft, occasionally scribbling in edits with his pencil.

SpankyBat 2017-01-21 21:39:19 No.29312389
Taking that anon's suggestions to heart I decided to start the story over. Here's what I've got so far

>You are Celestia and your sister has just chased away yet another stallion.
>The two of you are sitting in the gardens sharing a spot of tea. Luna is regaling you with the tales of her latest dating flop.
"How many does that make now Luna? How many more stallions are you chase away before you're satisfied?"
>"Thou can not blame us sister, these stallions you send to me as companions prance about like a small filly at a tea party."
"Sister please, try to be more understanding of today's norms. Things are nowhere near as they once were."
>"We are aware of this sister. It has been a long time sine we were... away."
>Luna's ears flatten against her head and she looks at the ground.
>You quickly try to find a way to change the subject away from your sister's banishment.
"I know! Sister, why don't you tell me why this date failed so quickly."
>Luna's ears perk up slightly and she snorts in a most un-princessly manner.
>"We decided it would be fun to go see that circus over in Ponyville. Does thou remember, the one with the Timberwolf?"
"Timberwolves... Timberwolves... oh, now I remember. Dreadful little creatures I believe, and very hostile towards ponies too."
>Thou are correct. Anyway, we wanted to go see that show first since it reminded us of our days playing in the Everfree forest."
"You were always so mischievous back then. You used to love tying branches to yourself and jumping out of bushes at me."
>"And you used to scream so loud I thought you were going to scare the birds right out of the trees."
>You chuckle and take a playful swipe at Luna's shoulder.
"As much as I enjoy reminiscing, please continue with your last date."
>Luna sighs and shakes her head.
"We went to the Timberwolf cage first and the stallion was boasting how he could handle a Timberwolf with one hoof tied behind his back."
"You didn't. Please tell me you didn't."

SpankyBat 2017-01-21 21:40:37 No.29312399
>"What? We were somewhat impressed by his claims of strength and wanted to see him best the beast in our honor."
>You rub your hooves on your temples.
"You let the Timberwolf out of the cage and set it free in Ponyville?"
>"Oh heavens no sister."
>You let out a sigh of relief. Surely your sister couldn't be that out of touch.
>"We placed him in the cage with the Timberwolf. It could have been dangerous if the beast escaped.
>Or maybe she was.
"No harm came to this pony I hope? Do you know the amount of protesting I am going to have to endure if he was injured?"
>"The creature never got near him dearest sister. Shortly after he was put in the cage he got dirt in his mane and became hysterical."
"What did you do then?"
>"We were very upset that he lied to us about how powerful he was so we sent him to the moon and returned home.
>You facehoof and go back to rubbing your temples.
"I hope you understand how much complaining I will hear when I send him back home. You can't keep poofing your bad dates onto the moon."
"We are sorry sister, we know that is not how we should carry ourselves as members of royalty.
"Come now Luna, it's not all that bad. Yes I know these outings have been one failure after another but you're getting out of the castle and mingling with the townsfolk."
>"Yes, we suppose it isn't all THAT bad. We do get to enjoy walking under the night sky after all."
"See? I knew you would eventually start enjoying yourself."
>"....You have more dates lined up, don't you sister?"
"I do."
>"How many sister?"
"A few."
>"How many more sister?"
>Luna slams her head into the table and burries it under her hooves.
>"Just send us back to the moon. Please dearest sister, anything but more false stallions trying to impress us."

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