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/o/ Auto

Warning: All the content of this page originally come from 4chan.org. This is only a partial archive made to avoid destruction. Some posts and images may be missing. All the messages below have been posted by anonymous users and we do not guarantee any truth of what they said.
For any illegal content, please contact me so that I can immediatly destroy it!

Anonymous 2013-10-28 23:38:11 No.9110521

[Missing image file: change-brake-pads-1.jpg]

Stupidest shit you've done while working on stuff.


I've got a bad history of fucking up my hands.

>Have a 98 Astro that's overheating a lot because of a radiator leak.
>Carry water with me at all times.
>Eventually get skilled enough to take radiator cap off and pull my hand back quick enough while it's still hot.
>Van overheats while driving it one day.
>Pull into gas station parking lot.
>Take cap off. Instead of fountaining out, water sprays up and shoots the cap god knows where.
>Hand doesn't feel too bad at first.
>At first.
>Pouring water into radiator, hand suddenly feels like I just dunked it into a pot of boiling water,
>End up driving myself to ER.
>Three 2nd degree burns and five 1st degree burns.

Also,

>Changing the brake pads on my Mom's Jetta today.
>Everything goes smoothly, do a test drive.
>Hit the brakes hard several times.
>Go to make sure the rotor doesn't have any grooves in it.
>Forget that I just slammed on the brakes about ten times.
>Finger is still on fire.

What stupid things have you done, /o/?


>>
Anonymous 2013-10-28 23:39:55 No.9110530
>lift car to take off wheels
>forgot to loosen lugs before I lifted it

>first time changing oil on my current car
>accidentally get oil all over my face (was cold at least)


I haven't dont anything other then basic maintenance, so that's all I have

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-28 23:45:21 No.9110567
constantly doing shit like this.
>be yesterday
>doing head gasket and timing belt for maintenance since I'm over 100k
>installing adjustable cam gear
>get everything timed
>loosen adjustment bolts on cam gear
>go to adjust the cam
>realize I haven't torqued cam gear to cam yet
>no way to hold onto cam gear
>say fug it and grab impact
>snug up bolt
>realize the cam has rotated freely as the adjustment bolts are loose
>fucking fuck I might have just bent valves
>go ahead and put everything back together
>just being worried the whole time
>it starts up no problems thank god but that could have sucked ass.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-28 23:49:03 No.9110589
>>9110530
>lift car to take off wheels
>forgot to loosen lugs before I lifted it

I always use an impact gun to take lug nuts off at work, so when I'm home I always forget that I can't just zap them off once the car's in the air. Wedge a chock block under the tire, this will hold it while you break the lug nut free, I've also done this using a steel toed boot with success.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-28 23:54:56 No.9110624
>>9110530
That's not so bad. You can break lugs loose with just a breaker bar even when they're in the air.

http://vimeo.com/8824849
http://www.motoiq.com/MagazineArticles/ID/1438/Wrench-Tips-10--Bust-a-lug-Nut.aspx

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:04:43 No.9110674
I forgot to put the bolts back in the holes after I took out my rear seatbelts. It wasn't really a problem until I drove through a giant puddle the next day.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:05:48 No.9110680

[Missing image file: 1326399378306.jpg]
I have a reputation at my shop for really making a mess on a regular basis for dumb reasons. Though being one of only two mechanics on the power side by shit might just be more noticeable.

>be pulling the power divider from a kenworth because leaky
>driveshaft, axle shafts, etc all out
>observe my side of the shop
>oil everywhere
>tools everywhere on all sides of and on top of the truck
>at least 3 air lines strung around like christmas lights
>grease all over the place when grease wasn't even involved in my task

Other example of "I knew it would happen, I did it anyway."

>pulling radiator from a pete
>rad drained without much mess
>I know the upper hose will have coolant in it because of the angle it's at
>place bucket in roughly the right area
>pull hose off
>coolant everywhere
>well I got some of it in the bucket

>>
Jake the Tank 2013-10-29 00:13:20 No.9110716

[Missing image file: 1381253156326.jpg]
>working on ISX15
>replacing EGR Cooler
>set new cooler on tire
>bump tire
>several thousand dollar part falls on ground
>shrug and put it on anyways
>still hasnt been back
>it was on a truck that hauls over half a million pound loads, where they use 3 trucks to move it, two pulling, one pushing
>fucker had 2 transmissions, equaling to over 72 gears

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:16:58 No.9110732
>>9110716
>fucker had 2 transmissions, equaling to over 72 gears
That's one hell of a twin stick.

>several thousand dollar part falls on ground
mfw I saw our 40 year veteran mechanic drop a $26,000 hydraulic pump because the chain slipped, then put it on anyway.

>>
Jake the Tank 2013-10-29 00:21:49 No.9110752
>>9110732
well, it was a 18 speed conected to a 4 speed.
2nd trans was really more like a range splitter on a big tractor.

>>9110680
This is also me, but I also happen to be the greasiest one there. Even though its me and one other mechanic... at a Kenworth dealer

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:26:39 No.9110771
>2013
>not bedding in brake pads

OP continues his streak of being a major fuckup who obviously hasn't heard about how to bed in the brake pads

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:27:48 No.9110777

[Missing image file: 13575953689.jpg]
>go to change fuel filter
>looking for safety glasses
>cant find them
>oh well
>look in repair manual for filter location
>says to remove gas cap to relieve pressure
>make homemade filter removal tool instead of buying ferds proprietary tool
>jack car up
>find filter
>trying to remove filter
>pulling really hard on it
>wtf is this shit stuck
>try again
>comes off
>get gas all over my face in my eyes and ears
>run inside
>jump in shower with clothes on for 20 mins
>shit stings like hell
>ear is throbbing like crazy
>wondering if I should go to the doctor
>dry up and put clean clothes on
>go back out side
>put new filter on
>find safety glasses 5 mins later
>mfw

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:31:15 No.9110794
>>9110752
I've learned how to avoid getting too covered in grease, but sometimes I just can't avoid it. Grease job during a PM? Covered in grease. Little dollops of grease all over the floor. Dropping a transmission? Face black, arms black, shirt is now black.

It would help if the guy we task with pressure washing the trucks wasn't of the rock bottom IQ crew.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:34:04 No.9110819
>>9110777

fucking lol'd

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:40:16 No.9110852
>Be doctor
>They're being overloaded in the ER
>They call me down, have to work with plebs
>Fuck head comes in with a hand the size of a whale penis
>Decide I've seen enough
>Quit job
>Go home
>Spend all my savings on crack
>Snort my days away

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:42:08 No.9110856
>>9110852
Give me the dose, Doc.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:46:28 No.9110873
>1st time changing SUVs oil
>remove cap, find plug and remove it
>let it drain
>notice its kinda reddish
>think nothing of it
>put nut back on
>swap filter real quick to avoid spilling even more than i already did
>pour in new oil
>done
>take a close look at "oil"
>"hmmm this doesnt look right..."
>take a look under suv again
>see a 2nd nut
>realize i drained out all the trans fluid and dumped in new oil into old oil
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>check oil dipstick
>oil 1/2 way up dipstick
>fuck
>ride bike to autoparts store to buy new bottles of trans fluid and oil
>drain everything and restart

Thank god i caught that or else id have fucked up my old SUV, now i make sure to doublecheck everything and make sure i do it right the first time.
>tfw 1st mistake made has made me anal about working on my cars

Also semi related
>hot summer day
>friends truck is having problems with the trans
>tell him to bring it over and we can swap out the clutch
>on way over he buys 2 12 packs of Steel Reserve as payment for helping him
>tell him the 2nd 12 pack is his
>we start drinking cause its cold beer and its hot
>start undoing trans and shit
>getting drunker and drunker
>were both 11 beers in
>black

His gf later showed up to find me asleep under the bed and my friend asleep hugging the trans we had removed, many lulz were had when we woke up.
Wish i still had the pics

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:52:23 No.9110898
changed my oil once and left the fill cap off, i was in a hurry to get it done before work only to realize what i had done minutes before i had to clock in

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:53:52 No.9110905
>>9110521
>>Changing the brake pads on my Mom's Jetta today.
>>Everything goes smoothly, do a test drive.
>>Hit the brakes hard several times.
>>Go to make sure the rotor doesn't have any grooves in it.
>>Forget that I just slammed on the brakes about ten times.
>>Finger is still on fire.
I did something similar. Change the brakes on my 280zx.. go for test drive.. had forgotten to tighten caliper bolt. Reach in to lift caliper, touch rotor.. ouch

>>
Defmanto 2013-10-29 00:56:57 No.9110919
Lets see.

>totally misjudged the drain direction when draining the antifreeze at one point making a nice little puddle in an apt complex parking lot.

>not properly securing a jack letting the car land on its brake disc (in my defense it was a hot day on asphalt god how I hate asphalt)

Thats the only two I can think of.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 00:59:31 No.9110930
>>9110905

>touch rotor

Did the same thing once, except it was out of curiosity. I knew rotors got hot but i didn't know how hot. Well, now i know.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:01:12 No.9110941
>>9110930
>>9110905
Oh shit you too?

I used a piece of paper though.

>>
Gears 2013-10-29 01:21:36 No.9111079

[Missing image file: phew.jpg]
>2007
>working on my r32
>have the front left wheel off. jacked up just on the jack from the car
>forgot to put the handbrake on once the car was up.
>was underneath/inside the wheel arch doing something inside wheelarch (cant remember exactly, probably brakes)
>put the socket wrench on a hex and give it a heave
>as i do it, notice somethings moving
>cars rolling forward
>OHSHIT.jpg
>i nope the fuck out of there somehow from the most awkward position with barely any room to manoeuvre
>car rolls off the jack
>lands with front left calliper directly on the ground
>mfw i almost got munched

all it did was bend the stone guard. jacked the car back up. bent it straight again and all was well in the forest again

>>
hurr durr panel 2013-10-29 01:28:32 No.9111126
>get my first car
>3 weeks later the brake pads need changed
>get the wheels off and the car jacked up
>get the passenger side change in minutes
>go round to the driver side and go to slacking the caliper bolt off
>not moving in the slightest
>push with everything ive got
>slip
>BANG
>my elbow connects with the ball joint
>even more, right on the funny bone...
>"FFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK"
>get up n walk inside unable to feel my arm and in intense fucking pain
>dad runs out
>>"WHOA WHATS WRONG, WHAT HAPPENED ?!"
>"I think i've broke my arm"
>>"fuck sake, you're white, get it under the tap"
>do so
>>"what happened exactly?"
>"the bolt was solid and won't move, spanner slips off and my funny bone hit the ball joint"
>>"fuck.."
>still can't feel my fingers or move them half an hour later
>dad goes out and finishes the brakes
>dad finishes and comes in
>>"you're a dick"
>"what for ?!"
>>"you were turning the bolt the wrong way hahaha"
>"..."
>feel like an absolute twat
>dad continues to laugh at me
>still couldn't move my hand for a few hours after that

My arm was fucked for a few days until i got the feeling fully back without parts of my hand being partially numb

Never again do I want to experience that pain again, and I've broken plenty of shit

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:28:53 No.9111132
>at work
>guy replacing a PS line on some Chebby a hour before quitting time on Friday
>kid calls that their dog is sick, he leaves early. i get stuck with replacing the line
>didnt tell me he left another line off, start it up, power steering fluid flies EVERYWHERE in the shop
>he left his toolbox drawers open, fluid flooded in them
>he lol'd when he found out what happened

>changing trans on Ford Exploder
>tilt trans, black rotten fluid pours allover me
>smell like burnt roses for a week after

>changing spark plugs on Ford Econoline
>one coilpack bolt starts going in funny
>fuck its crossthreaded
>keep going, figure fuck it
>make my own threads, try to tighten it a bit more
>bolt snaps
>fuck fuck fuck
>thought i would have to remove the intake to re-thread the bolt hole, magically vise grips get the broken bolt out
>put new bolt in, all is good
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

ive done 10 billion fuckups, these are just what came in my head

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:34:37 No.9111166

[Missing image file: it hurtz.jpg]
hey op... are you me?

troubleshooting 1976 mercedes 240d overheating problem

took of the cap plenty of times when it was fucking hot. end up not being careful at all and this happens


2nd degree burns all over my fucking arm.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:37:29 No.9111188
>>9111166

holy tittyfuck that looks painful

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:38:37 No.9111195

[Missing image file: burn.jpg]
>>9111166

i gotta tell you what man. it was a bad day.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:39:39 No.9111202
>>9111132
One of the mechanics I worked with when I was a newbie diesel tech told me this once,

>experience means you can fix your fuckups before anyone else notices

>>
Jake the Tank 2013-10-29 01:41:34 No.9111216

[Missing image file: 1381458822233.jpg]
>1st time working on cat
>drain plug is on side of oil pan
>dont think about it, only put under it
>3 foot stream of oil shoots out of it when removed, 12 gallons of oil is heavy yo


Another

>doing PM on truck
>truck has sat there for a day or two
>Pull truck up into bay
>working under it, notice a weird smell, can only describe it like at a Beach, that salt smell
>Next day
>Smell intensifies
>hood is still open
>decide to finally take a lookie-loo
>half a dead cat staring at me
>other half is on the other side of the harmonic balancer
>belts are all fucked
>cut out all 4 belts
>have to remove cat

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:42:48 No.9111222

[Missing image file: photo (29) - Copy.jpg]
>>9111195

here's the car

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:43:21 No.9111225
>>9111202

lol thats what i was told too, fix your fuckups before anyone notices, and try not to accept blame for something and just play stupid

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:45:05 No.9111233

[Missing image file: 1364272509224.jpg]
>>9111166
>>9111195
I remember you...

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:46:18 No.9111237
>>9111126
britbong detected

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:46:55 No.9111241
>>9111202

I've gotten the same advice from an old as fuck mechanic. I think he's retired now.

>>9111166

I've only done this once in my early days as a mechanic and I was lucky to have coveralls on at the time and pulled my arm out of the sleeve before all of the coolant soaked through so I ended up with a few 1st degree burns. Unless it's unbearably hot out I always wear long sleeves, just protects your arms from all of the sharp objects, hot exhaust, and other bullshit while working on a car. Some shops even enforce it as a safety standard.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:47:24 No.9111245

[Missing image file: 042720121266.jpg]
>Have ford 8.8 on jackstands
>cleaning it up so I can narrow the tubes
>still assembled, heavy bastard
>need to move it a little bit
>figure I can shimmy one end at a time while kicking the jack stand over with my foot
>oh right the axle is front heavy where the pinion is and there's a 3rd jackstand there
>3rd stand has already toppled
>axle is rolling forward
>slams down on to the concrete floor
>now I notice the spring perch has caught my finger and carried it down with it
>into the concrete
>I lost part of my finger and needed re-constructive surgery

Do I win?

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:47:41 No.9111248
>>9111233
It really is amazing that skin can get so wrecked and still fix itself.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:48:20 No.9111250
>>9110873
shit yeah, boy. steel reserve will kick your ass if you're not careful. Had it do me in several times

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:48:44 No.9111252
>>9110777
holy shit man I've had the EXACT same thing happen with a goddamn fuel filter

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:49:29 No.9111257
>>9111216
>>3 foot stream of oil shoots out of it when removed, 12 gallons of oil is heavy yo

ahahah, I did the same fucking thing and re-created the exxon valdez.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:49:40 No.9111259

[Missing image file: photo (33).jpg]
>>9111233

>Dat photo

I feel like I have just accomplished life. someone else online saved a photo of mine!


and dag....
>that photo is still intense

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:51:47 No.9111267
I sometimes forget to install parts using an alternating pastern.

I also overfilled my oil and instead of just draining it out of the oil drain bolt, I removed the oil filter.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 01:53:52 No.9111280
>>9111245

dag. that black finger. show us a picture of the finger now bitch nigga.

>>
Jake the Tank 2013-10-29 02:00:54 No.9111320

[Missing image file: 1382922944154.gif]
>Adjusting idle on muh 5.9 cummins
>have adjustment brick on throttle to hold it so I can adjust idle nut
>forget brick
>turn truck on
>straight to 4k rpm
>so smoke, much bam bam bam
>nothing damaged because lel, everything was made to handle 4krpm

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:03:29 No.9111334

[Missing image file: 062120121433.jpg]
>>9111280
This was after the second surgery, everything that's stitched up in the first picture died due to low flow and had to be removed. The nail grew back since this and it looks relatively normal, albeit shorter and with permanent never damage.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:04:25 No.9111338
>>9110521
>rotating tires
>was tired as fuck and wanted to get it over with
>put tire iron on lug nut, proceed to kick
>lug snaps off
>"shit yo they must be really rusty"
>snap 2 more off
>gat daym
>mentally preparing a lawsuit with the tire place that swapped my summers on to the rims, when...
i was turning them clockwise. i snapped them by fucking stomping them tighter. at least i didnt know i was that strong until then

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:06:59 No.9111351
>>9111334

yeah you probably win.

>>9111338
>lel

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:11:56 No.9111388
>>9111245
i didnt lose my finger but my left index finger got crushed acouple months ago
>be at jobsite loading Christy Boxes (those cement boxes that contain street lighting and shit that are buried in sidewalks and lawns)
>have to load Number 6 Christy Box (bigass box)
>tell apprentice to help me
>me and him loading it up into my work truck
>apprentice is kinda small so hes losing strength and shifts weight
>the fucking box shifts and ends up crushing my index finger between the edge of the tailgate and the 100lb concrete box
>finger gets crushed and it tears 1/3 of the skin off my index finger
>slightly in shock, suck it up and tell him to quickly get the box on the ground
>we both get the box on the ground and hes freaking out cause the blood is pouring off my finger
>tell him to shut the fuck up and get me a bottle of water
>he runs and gets me water
>i pour water over my torn up finger and bandage it
>entire day resist the urge to punch apprentice

the skin healed over fine but the actual bone is still healing, kinda hurts when its cold out

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:15:02 No.9111409
>>9110852
>snort
>crack

yah okkk

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:15:16 No.9111412

[Missing image file: awnold.jpg]
>>9111388

hardcore motherfucker

>>
TooManyRegos 2013-10-29 02:21:20 No.9111460

[Missing image file: y'all cowards don�(...).jpg]
>>9111409

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:26:06 No.9111484
>>9111460
YOU'LL COWARDS HAVE REACHED TERMINAL VELOCITY

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:26:49 No.9111490
>>9111338
>>9111351
i also didnt have a 3/8 allan key (live in canada) to take the caliper off on my aurora to replace the studs, so first i shoved a drill bit in with a wrench, but no luck, so i hammered in a torx t55 bit that cost $11, slapped a 1/2 to 3/8 ratchet drive to my air impact wrench, and ruined both bits. the bolt on the caliper is now permafucked too, i feel bad for whoever has to deal with that in the future

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:29:01 No.9111504
>>9111490
Holy fuck why wouldn't you just buy an allen key? Too far from the nearest canadian tire?

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:30:43 No.9111512
>>9111388
electrician or landscaperbro?

apprentices are shit

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:32:14 No.9111526
>>9111490
...are... are you serious?

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:32:48 No.9111530
>>9111504
nope, not even. skipped school that day to fix the aurora, which was my only source of transportation. i could have biked, but to get to the cad. tire i had to go over the 416 on one of those retarded on ramp off ramp bridge things that doubles as a local highway into town, and i've been stopped there for cycling on it in the past.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 02:34:11 No.9111540
>>9111526
yeah. the car was $800 with a desk fan for a coolant system. i couldnt give less of a shit about that car if i tried. im selling it for a winter beater as i fixed all the major problems, so hopefully the bastard will be dead come summer

>>
The Jackal 2013-10-29 02:53:47 No.9111664

[Missing image file: ohstopityou.jpg]
>>9111126

>turning caliper bolt wrong way

I did that once, figured it out p. quick because I second guessed myself.


I don't have any significant or memorable stupid-shits yet.

I have broken a lot of Snap-on tools though.

>helping a guy put a lift kit in a brand new '14 Tundra
>using a large (probably 1/2" thick) Snap-on pry bar to get a spring assembly back in between the steering knuckles
>just can't get this cunt back in where it belongs
>crank on the bar with everything I've got
>bar ended up chipped and bent

>Trying to remove a front strut from a ruststang
>stubborn mounting bolts on top
>using a 1/2" Snap-on ratchet
>just can't get that fucker to budge, regardless of how much PB I throw at it
>3ft cheater pipe I choose you
>still won't budge
>fucking bitch shitcunt piece of shit fuck you mode engage
>oh hey it's moving!!
>Nope, just the ratchet handle bending

I don't remember what I was doing with it, but I exploded a 3/8 Snap-on ratchet by hand.

Snapped the tips off several Snap-on screw drivers, and destroyed a few Torx bits and snapped some flat-blade 3/8 drive specialty bits.

>tfw lifetime replacement bitches
>Snap-on truck guy calls me Moncho - Destroyer of Tools
>mfw

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 03:03:38 No.9111712
>>9111512
Laborer whos been trained by electricians to do their job.
Basically i just do some semi difficult crap for them and they let me goof off or leave early and say i worked the full 8 hours a day.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 03:21:00 No.9111798
This thread was good until someone started posting all these burns and blisters.
>my asshole

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 05:04:55 No.9112323
>>9110873
>my friend asleep hugging the trans

that's too fucking funny

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 05:11:22 No.9112361
>>9111664
>Moncho - Destroyer of Tools

Fucking lel

>>
Grand amfag 2013-10-29 12:14:06 No.9113623

[Missing image file: redneck_service_tool_RN6969.jpg]
>skimmed a writeup
thats the tldr
>need to drain/refill trans in the comanche
>look up writeup
>'blah blah drain bolt is [peugot hates you] size'
>friends dads friend is out of town so cant lend me his peugot trans plug tool
>make pic related to open trans
>miss the line/pic in the writeup that says there are three holes in the trans
>Fill hole
>5th Gear Service hole (only used in the peugot 206 or whatever)
>drain hole

>drain trans via 5th gear service hole
>hey no metal shavings
>refill
>stick finger in fill hole
>shits still nasty goop
>re-read writeup
>i_popped_the_wrong_plug.png
>pop proper plug
>all dose metal shavings
>finally drained and filled properly

all this in 20 degree weather in my stone driveway with a reddyheater blasting me with hot air to try to keep my fingers from dieing

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 12:21:21 No.9113634
>>9111664
>Moncho - Destroyer of Tools.
Do us a favor and destroy the hosts of Top Gear then.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 12:24:10 No.9113640
>>9113634
Lol XDDDD so funny!

>>
Ishii 2013-10-29 12:36:10 No.9113668
>be at Pick-A-Part
>grabbing both rear springs out of a 1985 Mercedes Benz 190E
>dont have a spring compressor, so doing it the ghetto way with a pry-bar (nothing to do with the injury)
>trying to remove lower control arm bolt to ease the tension off the spring
>all the WD-40 I had with me and the fucker still wont budge
>grab that ratchet with both hands and brace my legs against the subframe
>pull with everything I have
>*SNAP*
>ratchet breaks, sending my left hand straight into the brake caliper with all my strength
>good sized gash at the base of my thumb, dont think much of it
>go inside the office to get a band-aid
>ask the cashier for a band-aid
>his face goes white
>look down at the pool of blood I'm creating in the front office
>he rushes me into the first-aid room
>turns out I sliced straight through to the bone, missing all the nerves apparently, because I felt nothing
>have a nice tidy scar at the base of my thumb to match the one just below it at my wrist where they pinned my scaphoid a couple years ago

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 13:26:22 No.9113803
>Swapping front wheel for spare on Pajero
>Spin wheel nuts on so they're finger tight
>Carry on doing other stuff underneath truck
>Hour or so later, everything's done
>Jack it down and drive out of the yard down the road
>Horrible clunking from passenger side
>Sheepishly get out and tighten up wheel nuts at the side of the road

Two pieces of advice: Only do one job at a time. Don't smoke pot whilst working on vehicles.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 14:02:06 No.9113883
pulling rear handbrake shoes off to rebend springs because they kept bending in and squeeking when the car moved on my vl commodore(yes australian)

Jacked up the back right with a screwjack(the one other then the car jack that has threaded bar and u use a leave that turns clockwise etc)

All goes well going up and put tyre back on and put nuts on until tyre spins when tightening

Ankle is under tyre and i move it to get more comfortable jack it down. Literally 5 seconds are the thread in the jack gives way and the car comes crashing down. Never useing them jacks again and when i use a trolley jack its got a car stand supporting it.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 14:07:19 No.9113890
>>9110521
>car overheats
>hurp durp better remove the radiator cap before it cools down

You're one stupid motherfucker. This is BASIC mechanical knowledge 101 and it's plastered in every single owners manual and service manual produced - DO NOT REMOVE THE RADIATOR CAP WITH A HOT ENGINE

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 14:13:30 No.9113904
>>9110873
>SUV
>RWD/4WD vehicle with a separate engine and transmission
>mixes up the drain plugs

are you retarded or is it a crossover, not an SUV, where the drain plugs are right next to each other?

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 14:16:38 No.9113912
>>9113904
Fuck up cunt. I've done this on a Corolla. Was my biggest fuckup also. Pretty sure I've heard a couple other people here do it.

It's somewhat easy when you've only changed oil on manuals and never expected to find another bigass oil pan right there.

Nevar again though

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 14:16:57 No.9113913
>>9113890
This.

Can't believe the amount of people in this thread owning up to this sort of stupidity. At least use a towel or something if you really must open the cap when the system's still hot.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 14:19:54 No.9113917
>>9113912
>corolla
yeah, another car where the trans/engine are together because fwd

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 14:21:58 No.9113925
>>9113912
I guess you missed the entire point of my post, dumbass.
>corolla
>FWD car where the transmission pan and oil pan are practically in the same place
Is not
>SUV
>where the engine is in the front, and the transmission pan is completely separate and behind it

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 14:27:36 No.9113943
>>9113925
Ah, fair point. So I wasn't quite as dumb then, kewl

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 14:28:08 No.9113946
>>9113803
>Don't smoke pot whilst working on vehicles.
No shit. One of the primary effects of cannabis is impaired short term and spatial memory. Nothing good can come of those effects when combined with working on machinery.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 14:47:50 No.9114015

[Missing image file: Picture 017.jpg]
This shit right here

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 15:10:59 No.9114063
>>9110680
>dropping coolant
>80% lands on the floor around the bucket
EVERY FUCKING TIME

>>9110873
>2013
>draining the transmission fluid and doubling the engine oil
My mate did that. Right after his mate changed a water pump by himself and saved a coupla hundred bucks. He also drove the car around to his mate's house, without manual transmission oil in it, to try and figure out what he'd done.
"How hard could it be to service a car?" Nick wondered aloud.

Too hard for you, Nick, you retarded fuck
>>9111245
I clicked on the picture. Why did I click on the picture?
>>9113925
I was a Toyota trained mechanic. I did it once on a Prado. Being kinda tall means it's hard to look up underneath a car, because you tend to be hunched over. So you get a little disoriented. Plus, the auto sump looks exactly like the engine sump.
Of course, you get the sump bot back in pretty fucking quick when red trans fluid starts coming out.

And my little fuckup
>working on old shitbox Skyline wagon
>late night
>my shed
>two CC and Dry cans in + fatigue
>faithful brown dog sitting to the side
>replace oil, filter
>reach in to start motor, front still up on stands
>car in gear
>lurches forward
>lands on box of empty beer bottles
>manage to key off again
>brown dog takes flight into back yard
>two weeks before he finally came back into the shed
Which wasn't so bad. He had a habit of stealing plastic ice cream containers, which were usually full of bolts from a half-finished job...

>>
snibbity 2013-10-29 15:13:41 No.9114070

[Missing image file: 1364950501019.png]
This one haunts me to this day

>go to do first oil change
>put on fram filter

>>
Acidchrist 2013-10-29 15:40:21 No.9114128
>>using huge tri-phased battery booster (borrowed from a garage) on old opel that hasn't run in 10 years to try and start it to see condition of the engine

>>engine starts

>>vibrations make battery booster fall

>>sparks errywhere

>>hood prop rod ends up welded to the hood

this is just one of many. just yesterday my friend set himself on fire while welding the GR.N exhaust back on the corsa

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 15:53:36 No.9114148
>Buy cheap car
>Someone who has owned it left an amp cable on the battery, no amp in car
>messy as fuck so I decide to re-route it
>start unbolting positive battery terminal
>forgot to disconnect negative
>couldn't find small spanner so using a fairly large one
>tedious to use large spanner because I need to change angle every turn
>go too far down
>shorts between positive and an AC pipe
>spanner now welded between battery and AC line
>smack that shit off quick
>bends AC line
>hood won't close

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 15:59:55 No.9114161
>Oil filter is in the way
>Take it off to access some bolts
>Go about working on my car
>Finish up
>go through a mental check list
>Yup everything should be good
>Go to start it up
>Thats odd its not building pressure and what is tha....
>OH SHI-
>Proceed to shut engine off
>Oil all over my driveway.

I am not a clever man

Another story

>Working on replacing the oil pan gasket
>Relatively pain in the ass job
>Go about getting all the bolts off
>remove oil strainer so now pan can come out.
>sway bar is in the way
>Go to loose it up and let it rest against the tension arms
>I often grab it to help slide under the car
>Do it once and no issues so figure its fine
>Grab a tool and go to slide back under
>Pull on the sway bar
>Enough force that it slips down as I was pulling onto it
>Right onto the side of my head
>Said fuck it and finished it the next day

My head hurt for awhile.

>>
Acidchrist 2013-10-29 16:09:03 No.9114187
>>pulling old 2cv from a field with a friend onto his recovery truck
>>owner of the field told us we could take anything we wanted
>>find old army storage box, and a bunch of huge gas cylinders
>>load the 2cv to the brim
>>on highway
>>truck hits bump
>>look in my mirror, see sparks on road behind us
>>turns out one of the gas cylinders that was inside the 2cv fell off, hitting the hatch. hatch was rusted and popped off, and was barely avoided by the old people that were following us in a saxo

then we ate at mcdonalds and talked about the fact that we could have killed innocents and that we should be more careful

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 16:48:53 No.9114297
>>9113946

Oh I know and it wasn't like I was totally out of it or anything. I only mention it because last time the subject came up on here everyone was saying they smoked whilst working on vehicles and didn't see the problem with it.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 16:54:32 No.9114312
>>9110521
something like this happened to me when i had my civic
>swapped b16
>small leak in idle air control valve - only leaked when it was running
>have to fill radiator everytime i drove it
>forget to check levels before leaving
>temp gauge rises past even, stop at gas station
>get a fuckhuge size drink full of water
>stupidly twist the cap off as soon as i get back, however i was smart enough to open it with my sweatshirt sleeve scrunched in my hand
>fluid,fluid everywhere
>coolant sprays all over block and rest of engine bay
>onlookers stare
>luckily it wasnt insanely hot, avoid burns but jeans smell like coolant and broken dreams
>proceed to empty two cups into the raidiator
>brap away with no fucks given
>fix leak by getting a hose clamp on that nipple
>blow engine 3 weeks later, bent valves
>decide a new head is too expensive, tear car to shreds, proceed to open ricers paradise garage sale on craigslist
>make $500 dollars + the price I paid in less than 3 weeks
>buy another civc, repeat process minus the coolant leaks
>decide to junk the entire car for 250 rather than part it out
>now own glorious sr20det notchback 240
>bone stock besides swap and coilovers
>no issues for 3 years

now you know.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:01:52 No.9114326
>last week
>changing tires on the rear of my sierra
>notice jack is at max height and can't get tire off
>logic train jumps the track
>let the jack down with tire off
> suddenly see truck tip
>fuck.jpg
>nothing broke despite the fact it landed on the drum

>>
Some Asshole With A Train Horn 2013-10-29 17:18:39 No.9114373
>replace wiring harness in the Volvo 240
>forget to ziptie part of the harness to a support
>part of the harness works its way out into the engine bay progressively
>making a u-turn
>extraneous harness part gets caught on a bolt on the steering shaft
>rips the hall sensor connector off the distributor
>FUCK

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:29:23 No.9114425
>>9110680
>>9114063
Maybe you guys just need bigger buckets, or to hold them closer?

> Topping up oil, because loloilpressurelight
> Tip bottle
> Nothing
> Tip bottle more
> And more
> Fuck, this stuff's gloopy
> Miss the hole
> Pour expensive synthetic oil over engine cover for half a second before getting it in the right hole
> Run out of oil, have to add half a bottle the next day
> Week later
> THERE'S AN OIL STAIN UNDER YOUR CAR
> Yes, I know.
> IT'S LEAKING OIL
> No, I just missed.
> THERE'S OIL ON MY DRIVEWAY
> It'll wash off.
> Weeks later
> Oil stain gone
> Dipstick still at the top
> So much for the leak the mechanics told me about.

> Filling screen wash
> LOLWIND
> End up with half of it over me, the innards of the car, the driveway, and the cap
> Keep pouring
> Keep pouring
> Stop pouring, because it's taking ages
> Listen for trickling noises
> Look under car to see where the fuck it's all going
> Shrug, continue
> Still skeptical about the size of the washer bottle

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:32:21 No.9114437
>>9110530
>changing oil while it's cold
you shouldn't do this.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:37:22 No.9114456

[Missing image file: 20130923_181544.jpg]
not me, but a friend

> bottomed out
> lifts tc in shit tier included jack
>"it's automatic so u didn't think u needed the parking brake" (he actually said this)
pic related:result

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:43:06 No.9114479
>>9114456

Oh boy. Did he brake the pin in the transmission?

>>
Some Asshole With A Train Horn 2013-10-29 17:44:30 No.9114485
>>9114425
>Still skeptical about the size of the washer bottle
Small visible neck and cap that leads down through a body panel and into an area behind the bumper where the reservoir lies, I'm guessing. Pretty common.

>>9114479
He lifted the front wheels and it's a front wheel drive car...

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:45:31 No.9114488
>>9114479
I don't believe he did. the car cost 4k to repair, but he made sure not to tell insurance he dropped it, so they covered it since he bottomed out. weird? yea, I know

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:45:44 No.9114490
>>9111126
>>>"fuck.."

the nerve that feeds your fingers runs on the very outside of your elbow... you crushed it

you almost paralysed yourself if you had totally broken through it.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:46:05 No.9114491
>>9114485

Lol..Time to be a good friend and educate him on not doing such retarded things

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:47:44 No.9114496
>>9114491
the standing rule is if we're doing work and the car is lifted he needs to stay 10ft away.

believe me, we don't let him forgot how retarded he was

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:52:17 No.9114508
>>9114148
>having your battery under the hood
pleb

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 17:56:23 No.9114514
>>9114485
Yup. And it's a big reservoir, so it just sucks up screen wash from the bottle until you think it HAS to be leaking out somewhere.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 18:01:23 No.9114523

[Missing image file: Picture-976.jpg]
>>9110856
Here, son.

>>
Montego-kun 2013-10-29 18:09:04 No.9114549
I went full retard once

Never go full retard

>Working on my old Taurus in my garage
>Need some more light, decide to roll it outside into the sun
>Open driver's side door
>Put into neutral, release parking brake
>Start to roll it back slowly
>Picks up too much speed, hand is on the outside of the driver's side door
>Gets pinned in between the car door and the side of the garage
>Driveway is at a slight incline so the car wants to keep rolling back
>2 tons of American mediocrity is crushing my hand against the wall
>Manage to push it off at least enough to get my hand out
>Have scars for months

How I managed to not break my hand is beyond me.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 18:11:39 No.9114559

[Missing image file: 1372257581588.jpg]
>changing 4agze ae86's oil filter
>comes off pretty easy with an oil filter wrench
>put other one on
>goes decently tight
>still doesn't feel quite right
>just turn it as tight as i can with my hands
>start car
>back up a bit
>pool of oil in front of car
>shitshitshit
>turn it off
>oil is pouring from between the oil filter and the block
>pan underneath
>take oil filter off
>i didn't notice when i took the old oil filter off, the seal stayed on the engine
>new filter had the seal as well, double seal didn't seal
>oil all over headers and floor and the rest of the bay
>have to get a mate to get me more oil on his way home

fuck yeah

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 18:11:54 No.9114561

[Missing image file: profound sadness.jpg]
>>9114549
>2 tons of American mediocrity
>tfw I own a Taurus

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 18:18:28 No.9114586
>>9114549
>>9114561

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkiwXXfYMTs

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 18:18:29 No.9114587
>during the 4agze engine swap to the 86
>old engine appears to be caught on something
>(bad decision number 5 of the day)
>i'll just reach in and wiggle the mount loose
>engine becomes unstuck
>slices my wrist and pins my arm to the shock tower
>yank my arm out of the bay
>pouring blood everywhere
>wrap it in some rags
>mate rushes me to hospital
>gets glued up
>make a dark joke about suicide
>doctor doesn't take it lightly
>have to have a psychological evaluation

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 18:23:14 No.9114598
>Had 1987 chrysler fifth ave
>Starter quits
>Look underneath and see ground wire to starter hanging down
>Only have ramps but obviously wont be able to drive car up ramps
>Just use scissor jack to lift part of car
>It'll only take a second to bolt it back on so I don't bother with putting a cinder block underneath or anything
>Crawl underneath and re-bolt ground wire
>Go to lower car back down
>Barely touch jack with socket when it suddenly collapses and my 4500lbs. car falls to the ground
>Contemplate life for the next week

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 18:33:25 No.9114633
>>9114587
If that happened to me I'd probably have made a joke like that. Doc should lighten up.

>>
Raoul Duke 2013-10-29 18:38:40 No.9114652

[Missing image file: spic v.jpg]
i was just along for the ride for this one but it was retarded
>buddy needs an extra set of hands while working on pic related
>there is one tiny bolt directly behind that turbo on the exhaust manifold that he forgot to tighten
>of course, it's between pipes in the least accessible location possible
>doesn't want to take the turbo back off, barely any room to reach the bolt
>manages to use a magnet to slip a crows foot around the bolt and tries to tap it around
>clearance issues, crows foot slips off when he tries to rotate it
>keep trying until we've both given up on that idea
>roll around the corner to home depot in search of a more suitable tool
>there isn't one, they've got a whole lot of not shit that will help us
>friend says fuck it and drops ~$80 on a bench grinder
>to grind a $2 crows foot
>to tighten one bolt
>spend the next couple hours trying to convince him to grow a set, cut the hood, and run that filter outside for +500 cold air torques
>while he's mad as fuck, slowly grinding a crows foot down to nothing
it DID eventually work, though.

>>
Raoul Duke 2013-10-29 19:01:18 No.9114743

[Missing image file: VG01zD3.jpg]
>>9111079
that reminds me
>friends father somehow managed to destroy a tire on the front right of some lexus suv he was borrowing from the dealership he works at
>asks me and my friend to throw the donut on it real quick in exchange for beer
>get the car jacked up, no problems yet
>as i'm pulling the wheel off, car rolls forward, tips the jack stand over, and into the fence a couple feet away on 3 wheels
>friends father ripped a tire off the wheel of someone elses car and then proceded to leave said automatic SUV parked in neutral with no parking brake
>he somehow managed to get the key out of it
>go to ask him for the key so i can back the car off of the fence and jack it back up
>i shit you not, he handed me what looked like the ripped off plug from a nintendo ds charger and told me thats what he starts the car with
>mfw i realize just how drunk he is and make an excuse to leave in a hurry

>>
Montego-kun 2013-10-29 19:04:44 No.9114760

[Missing image file: Laughing-Thunderbirds[1].gif]
>>9114586
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkiwXXfYMTs
Oh my fucking god, this is the most accurate video I have ever seen in my entire life

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:06:50 No.9114770
>>9114523
Thanks, doc.

>>
Montego-kun 2013-10-29 19:09:41 No.9114796
>>9114561
The Taurus is a great car, mostly because you can beat the everliving shit out of it and not give a fuck.

>>
vtak yo 2013-10-29 19:15:51 No.9114830
>doing spark plugs on an explorer
you guys know what the fuck im talking about
>actually did all of them from the top with shit tons of extensions and joints on a ratchet
>replace all plulgs
>start that bitch up
>runs fine for about 30 seconds
>car dies and i see electrical smoke pouring from hood
>look under hood see nothing wrong
>wat
>Find exposed wire sitting against valve cover
>was pushed up against valve cover when i did spark plugs
>oh shit car is ded as fuk
>electrical tape that exposed wire up and get it away from valve cover
>car fires up

Turns out its a fucking radio noise capacitor that the wire went too, probably fucked but i dont need it anyways

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:22:38 No.9114861
>>9114598
Never use cinder blocks to support your car.

They crush like nothing. Trust me, I've seen it happen.

>>
vtak yo 2013-10-29 19:23:16 No.9114869
>>9114861
sheeiiiit

I always held my car up with cinderblocks

never once broke on me

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:27:51 No.9114888
>>9114869

>I've played russian roulette with a .357 every night for the last 20 years, never once blew my brains out

>that must mean it's safe

>>
vtak yo 2013-10-29 19:28:44 No.9114893
>>9114888
i didnt say it was safe.

I said sheeiiiit because ive been doing it for years and could have had bad shit happen

I use ramps now

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:29:27 No.9114898
>>9114063
>not buying a small kiddie pool so catches 95% of the coolant
Step up nigga

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:31:20 No.9114908

[Missing image file: 1363203698806.jpg]
>>9114869

Give a cinder block a firm whack with a standard 1lb claw hammer.

What happens?

Now imagine relying on the same block to hold 3000 lbs.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:34:04 No.9114926
>>9114908
>Comparing an impact to compression

Impact is the ultimate performance test for a material, because it will cause many materials to fail under high-strain rates.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:38:18 No.9114950
>>9114926

>Implying the shit you're holding your car up with doesn't need to have any amount of impact resistance whatsoever

Something shifts even the tiniest bit, and watch those cinder block supports disintegrate in a spectacular cascade of failure.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:39:21 No.9114962
>>9114893

good to see you finally got all those dragon dildos out of your head

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:40:07 No.9114967

[Missing image file: 1376958596428.png]
>Doin muh first ever maintenance like a decade ago
>Trans. Fluid change
>Get the car up, open the drain bolt with a combination of rage and profanity
>Everything else going sweet, no mess etc
>"Well I guess it's time to put in the fresh fliud into- "
>Realize I forgot to go and actually get aforementioned trans fluid.
>fuck

Oh, and there's a big ass bolt on the top clearly labeled "TRANSMISSION FILL CAP". I spent an hour trying to off the fucker because lolhandtools and skinned the fuck out of my forearm on the engine bay fairing when my ratchet came loose. I still could not get it to budge.

Turns out that what it doesn't say in the haines manual is that this TRANSMISSION FILL CAP is actually welded into the case after vehicle assembly, and you're supposed to use an ambiguous unmarked one in an unintuitive location.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:40:36 No.9114972
I got one for ya.

>me, 16ish
>trying to remove my alternator pulley
>won't budge
>get my friend to turn the wrench as i try to hold onto the blades (with gloves on) to keep it from spinning
>1-2-3-go
>friend pulls the wrench hard as he can
>i can't hold on obviously
>blades turn
>my fingers get caught between the blades and a bolt
>STOP STOP STOP
>too late
>*kkkkch*

And that's how i broke my index and middle finger.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:46:28 No.9115012
>>9114950
I don't even know what you fuckers mean with "cinder blocks", I'm not from Murrka and I don't muck around when supporting a car. I was just saiyan you can't make a comparison there.

For example, concrete is fantastically strong under compression, but it comes apart under tension. Also, being brittle it will fail under very high strain-rates.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 19:59:31 No.9115075
i have one that just happened a week ago.
>my brother and I are doing a 5lug conversion on his fox
>has car on jack stands on their highest position
>for some reason he jacks the car up higher and lowers all the stands to less than a foot of clearence
>i walk into the garage to grab a wrench
>he then lowers the car while sitting under it
>car lands on his back and folds him like a book
>all i hear from the garage is him screaming help
>i run over and try to jack the car up but i cant because he is in the way
> he ends up having to pump the jack himself while folded like a book
>died of laughter

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 20:29:11 No.9115191
>>9114898
>not just letting it pour onto the ground

Implying I give two shits.

then again, its a gravel driveway.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 20:32:20 No.9115205
>>9115191
I don't use ethylene glycol so that helps me not give a shit either

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 20:46:47 No.9115278
>>9115205
>implying I care if its Ethylene Glycol

when you've got a car with a cracked radiator and a leaking intake plenum, you learn real quick not to give two flying fucks where the coolant ends up.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 20:52:47 No.9115301
>>9115205
Well, it's better than drinking the stuff. You'll give plenty of shits then.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:01:10 No.9115349

[Missing image file: 1366566053712.jpg]
Never had any real serious fuck ups, just inexperienced happenings

>Decide before winter hits I check my new '83 Suburban's Front auto-lockers for the 4x4
>While doing that we swap out the bearings and race
>Get it in the air and wheels off, start with taking the cap off of the hub.
>Get really confused about how to get the Lockers out.
>Try to disassemble the lockers while they are inside.
>Doesn't feel right, question why this is so hard to take out.
>Realize we have to take out the O Ring so it can slide out...
>Find the Locker shattered like a grenade
>Ohshit, find out it wasn't from our tinkering around.
>We get the rest of the hub off and find the Bearing easy to pull off.
>We find the Race to be Rust Welded on to the spindle... FML
>Spend 2 or 3 hours of pulling it off with a puller and a hammer.

But one day I was changing my Oil on the burb and fucked up.

>Get 2 one gallon milk jugs.
>Place a cone in 1 and place it under the drain bolt.
>remove the bolt (Oil was still really warm, but not hot. Feels good man)
>Quickly fills the first jug with in a minute.
>Ohshit.jpg
>Quickly react as fast as I can and get the cone in the next jug and under the drain.
>Second jugg gets filled almost 2/3rds full.
>Oil every where.
>All over me.
>On every thing.
>World is made of Oil now.

Now I bought a several gallon oil pan to avoid that shit ever again.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:18:30 No.9115439
Its not too terrible, but I had to wear oil for a day in highschool because of an idiot

>Have to change the oil on a car
>Have the oil thing lined right up with where it should land
>This kid doesn't like where it is, moves it DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH IT
>Fuck, whatever, you clean it up
>Bend over to retie my shoe on the other side
>He pops the plug the second I'm down
>It all catches the side of the pan
>Showers everywhere
>Shirt, arms, pants, shoes, hair, its all oil now.
>Oil companies would probably try to drill oil out of me
>Have to spend the rest of the day covered in oil because my house was an hours drive away total
>If you get in an accident we'll be liable!
>Offered me ratty old pants and shirt
>Decline, decide to smell like a man
>And rub oil over every chair I touched that day

I've done a lot of stupid shit, and have good sized scares to prove some of them too, which is always fun.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:21:23 No.9115453
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChOHnSL7ZCg

This thread in a nutshell

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:22:30 No.9115458

[Missing image file: IZsyTq[2].jpg]
I did this recently

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:25:46 No.9115474
>working as aircraft mechanic
>cut finger open on something, bleeding lightly
>not near a sink so decide to use some isopropyl to clean it off
>isopropyl is in a squirt bottle on my tool box for cleaning my tools
>spray it on my finger, starts burning a lot more than normal, pain becomes ridiculous
>realize at this point my bottles of isopropyl and MEK (methyl ethyl ketone) look exactly the same
So that was pretty stupid I guess. Don't spray MEK into open cuts, kids.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:28:39 No.9115489
>>9115474
>methyl ethyl ketone
Holy shit, label your goddamn chemicals.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:28:59 No.9115492
>First car
>First time changing oil
>Righty tighty, lefty loosy, I so got this
>shit, why the fuck did Thor tighten this shit so hard??
>turning bolt to the right, thought it was left
>give up and ask dad for help
>shit connor you were doing it so wrong
>felt like such a fucking incompotant dumbass
>my pride hurts to this day

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:31:45 No.9115514
>>9115458
I remember this.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 21:35:48 No.9115531
>>9115453
Holy shit what the fuck did I just watch

>>
Some Asshole With A Train Horn 2013-10-29 21:38:20 No.9115547
>>9115453
LOL
Literally

>>
Anastassio Benedetto 2013-10-29 21:48:19 No.9115616
>Be me 20 year old
>Replacing the 4 spark plugs on my 4cylinder 2.3L ranger
>I remove each spark plug one by one and replace each one one by one so that I can put it in the same coil pack
>Almost done
>Finish tightening the last one
>Check spark plugs
>Everything looks fine
>Test drive
>THe ride is shaky as fuck
>somethingiswronghere.avi
>Notice the third spark plug has cracked, the porcelain part
>Remove all spark plugs and put the old ones back in
Some of the porcelain on the third cylinder falls in the cylinder hole
>About more than half a penny of porcelain
>Ohshitman
>Can't get it out
>Fuck it, just put in the old spark plugs
>Test drive, feels great again
4 months later, everything is still ok.
even drove 400 miles to LA and back 400 miles again.

I hope its fine and not a big deal

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 22:59:03 No.9115991
>>9115616
if its still running fine the porcelain has probably long since been disintegrated.

I haven't done anything TOO retarded, other than forgetting where a vacuum line went on my Blazer. coming out of that little ball under the hood.

I still don't know what that does

>>
Panda5 2013-10-29 23:09:26 No.9116042
>Jack breaks doing a pad change.

Tl:dr almost lost leg.

>>
Some Asshole With A Train Horn 2013-10-29 23:14:04 No.9116059
I am surprised at how many "jack broke/collapsed/fell over" posts there are in here.

Jack stands are cheap, goddammit.

Buy a set.

How can you be an auto enthusiast without a set of jackstands?

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 23:17:07 No.9116069
added antifreeze through the engine because the car was running hot

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 23:25:39 No.9116104
>>9116059

'cuz nigga i'm a po auto enthusiast

i can't even afford to add the or

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 23:53:06 No.9116222

[Missing image file: 8484694648.jpg]
>change brake pads, take car around the block to test
>godawful scraping noise
>pad on backwards

>PS line on '96 Protege rusts out (the line from the box to the rack, a 5 inch portion)
>car was totally rotten/rusted, no interest in fixing anything, just needed it to get to work
>replace high pressure PS line with a piece of rubber fuel injection hose and clamps
>dontturntoohardfaggot.txt
>drove it like that for 3 months

doesn't compare to the stuff here but oh well

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-29 23:55:13 No.9116230

[Missing image file: 1375060077361.gif]
>>9116222
>pad on backwards

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 00:09:39 No.9116270
>>9116059
>I am surprised at how many "jack broke/collapsed/fell over" posts there are in here.

I'm not, my crazy fuck neighbour was changing the brakes on his daughters hatchback and had the car up on blocks of wood along with the emergency jack you get with the car... like lots and lots of 2x4 blocks he'd actually spent some time nailing a few together and stacking them up to the height he wanted.
>Want to borrow my jack stands man?
>Nope, its all good
So this masterpiece of dumbshit carpentry meets mechanical fuckery eventually goes pear shaped as I hear this dull thud, sounds of broken glass and screaming.
Without thinking, I grab my trolley jack, cursing the fact the cunt of a thing probably weighs more than I do running down 4 flights of stairs trying not to trip arse over head and make this retarded escapade even stupider for the ambulance crews.
Sure enough, he's pinned below the knee and its all bendy in places legs aren't normally that shaped and get the car off him.
He ended up keeping the leg at least

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 00:26:55 No.9116348
>>9115453
Wow, i'm showing this at my next meeting

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 01:24:19 No.9116658
>>9110873
its a car. you can just say car. they're the same thing.

>>
Some Asshole With A Train Horn 2013-10-30 01:32:53 No.9116722
>>9116270
>crazy fuck neighbor destroyed his leg by not using jackstands.
Goddammit people. Fucking stupid. I posted the dumbest thing I've ever done working on a car in this thread and there was no chance of anyone getting injured as a result of it. Use your heads and be cautious.
The
>hurr durr nothing bad is going to happen
attitude is incredibly common among people who fuck themselves up, when will people learn that and wise up?

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 03:03:09 No.9117281
>>9116722

This is why I am borrowing my friends jack stands for my tire rotation this weekend.

>>
Britfag Americano 2013-10-30 03:05:58 No.9117292
guys, i seriously.
a pair of 3 ton jackstands, i paid like, $40 at walmart.

seriously.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 03:09:40 No.9117316
>>9114633
he was asian as fuck

i was 90% sure the humor would be lost on him

i didn't know i'd have to spend an extra 2 hours in the hospital

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 03:50:40 No.9117508
Didn't happen to me, but I stood there and watched it.

>Senior in Highschool, auto shop student aid
>Some kid has a 6.2L NA Chevy Diesel that he wants to, "roll coal" with
>Gets the help of football playing hick with stacks on his gas truck to help
>Neither knows shit about shit
>Football hick turns the injection pump up to wide open
>soclever.jpg
>Starts it up
>6k rpms of non boosted, runaway diesel madness
>I yell to shut it off, but the kid sits in the cab with his hands in the air and a panicked look on his face
>I dash to grab the nearest object to cover the intake, found a small, 1" thick piece of plywood
>At this point, the entire shop is filled with smoke and soot, the only thing I could really see was the exhaust manifolds glowing red
>After about 7 seconds of trying to smother it to no avail, it was getting too hot to be leaning over that engine bay any longer
>Everyone in the shop, including the instructor flees to the corners of the shop
>Radiator hose bursts, shooting coolant as high as the ceiling
>Let the thing ran until it died, which took about three more minutes
>The crank actually dropped into the oil pan, knocking it off before the whole thing seized up
>Boy did that thing roll some coal

He ended up leaving at the school. Its been about 3 years and it's still parked in the gravel behind the shop to this day.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 03:51:24 No.9117513
>friend buys a mk3 turbo supra
>car was neglected, probably never serviced
>decides to change the oil
>oil filter refuses to come off
>break our oil filter wrench trying to get it off
>get a piece of steel rebar
>grind the end into as sharp a point as we can
>drive it through the filter with a sledge hammer
>filter comes off easily

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 03:53:33 No.9117520
>>9114861
no worries, after this incident i went out and bought proper jack stands lol, never again will i risk that

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 04:04:52 No.9117583
>>9115453
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChOHnSL7ZCg

I haven't seen that in a while. Always makes me laugh.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 04:26:26 No.9117717
>today
>trying to sell car
>detail interior, lysol wipes a plenty
>disassemble centre console for ease of cleaning
>all goes well
>refit shift knob on rod (automatic)
>small staple size pin, but 1000x stiffer used to hold knob to rod
>bust out the pliers which double as wire cutters
>snip the corner of my finger while refitting knob
>smear blood all over freshly cleaned interior
>reach for surprisingly acidic lysol wipe to stop bleeding
>felt like the time i decided to try wasabi....by the spoon
shit still stings, 7 hrs later

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 04:29:44 No.9117735

[Missing image file: 1381292062141.jpg]
>>9117508
you had me biting my nails in suspense as i read. its like a fucking horror story

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 04:33:16 No.9117759

[Missing image file: 1361299576279.gif]
>>9117513
>Not just hammering a long handled screwdriver into it.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 04:35:56 No.9117778
>>9110521
>>Have a 98 Astro that's overheating a lot because of a radiator leak.

LOL. 4.3 Poortec Dexcool eaten headgasket.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 04:41:53 No.9117798
>>9117735
It was actually a pretty hectic scene.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 04:44:19 No.9117809

[Missing image file: 1382190081316.gif]
>>9117759

>>
Project jimmy 2013-10-30 04:47:47 No.9117821
>>9115453
Oh gof what the fuck did I just watch?

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 05:28:12 No.9118024

[Missing image file: Walter_20131029_3348.jpg]
>Wait on the UPS guy to drop parts off to finish brake job
>Figure I'd put on the rebuilt caliper and go about bleeding it.
>Rig up a piece of wood to prevent piston from sliding out
>Go about bleeding it.
>feels kind of weird, don't think about it.
>System is now bled
>Wait why is there fluid under the driver side
>Forgot drive side caliper was not installed.
>Popped out all of the way
>Brake fuild
>Brake fluid everywhere
>Spend time putting the other piston back in
>Make sure both brakes have wood chucks this time.

Pic very related ; my dumbassery

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 05:30:39 No.9118035
>>9115453
Man if I had a penny for everytime that happened.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 05:35:54 No.9118052

[Missing image file: 1370922500231.gif]
>>9115453

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 05:55:07 No.9118122
>>9115453
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChOHnSL7ZCg
Based anon

that was fantastic

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 06:00:49 No.9118141
If there was a law to stop stupid people working on cars... actually, I guess we'd all be banned.

In regards to all this 'jack slipped car nearly killed me' business
1 - Jack stands
>but I'm on the side of the road/poor/can't find
2 - when the wheels are unbolted, slide them under the car, preferably under chassis rail/sill panel so if the car slips it'll land on that instead
>hurr durr dun wanna scratch my wheels
(YES, I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT BEFORE)
Then don't let the car fall off a jack. Use stands.

This is where the wheels should be put anyway. They're a tripping hazard otherwise.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 06:15:27 No.9118201

[Missing image file: 1295360391036.jpg]
>Pretty recently I had to get all new calipers on my car, simply because all the fucking bleeder screws were rust-welded to them and I'd gotten air in the lines somehow.
>I took it to a shop (I have barely more tools than a set of wrenches where I live now), thought I was going to have to junk it because of how much it would cost.
>Decided, fuck it, I'll buy a jack and some ratchets and do it.
>Fast forward, calipers are on, rear two are bled.
>put the wrench around the next bleeder
>turn
>STRIPPED, motherfucker
>profanity
>somehow covered under warranty, get another caliper the next day.
>installed, bled
>last one, hit the breaks, flexible line starts pissing everywhere.
>Guess that's why there's air in the line.
$15 dollar part fails, $400 repair.

>next day brakes are starting to make grinding noises while driving
>delivery man, can't take off work since I'm broke from fixing the fucker
>drive around all night, sound is just getting worse
>whip the wheel around, thinking it sounds like something is caught in there
>make it home alive

>go to take a look the next day, take off the wheel covers
>TWO of the five lug nuts fall out with half of their respective lugs still attached to them.
>the two that broke were directly next to each other
>driving around for 5 hours with a very real possibility of the wheel just falling off the car.
>look closer, one of the caliper bolts is missing, it's dangling by just one of them.
>go spend my last pennies on a new caliper bolt

I bought that car over 2 years ago for $60; it's still going.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 06:19:59 No.9118220
>>9110777
>tfw im changing my fuel filter tomorrow
>tfw my dad has safety goggles form his work

>>
Brass Car Fan 2013-10-30 06:41:57 No.9118293

[Missing image file: 0818130005.jpg]
Dropped bolts into the oil pan on my T 3 times in one day.
>tfw would have had to remove the engine and transmission if I hadn't been able to fish them out

>>
Brass Car Fan 2013-10-30 06:44:06 No.9118304
>>9110777
>owning a car that needs its fuel filtered

>>
/k/o/mrade camry 2013-10-30 06:49:53 No.9118323

[Missing image file: 1334209486602.jpg]
> be replacing cv axle on camry at friend's metal workshop in the middle of the night
> be tired as fuck somewhat drunk, late at night
> old axle is siezed into a bracket that supports part of the axle
> have to cut axle into pieces with shitty 4" harbor freight cutting wheel in order to remove it from vehicle
> millions of tiny, burning pieces of steel find a new home in my skin
> get pieces of axle out of the trans and hub, have to remove bracket with chunk of axle still seized in
> axle chunk won't come out of bracket, even when wailing on with a hammer
> have to pick up 12lb sledgehammer, it still takes a few determined hits to break free
> chunks of axle and hammer chipping off everywhere.
> start installing new axle
> tapping new axle into place
> tight fit, have to hit the axle fairly hard to get it in all the way.
> suddenly realize i'm using the steel hammer instead of my rubber mallet
> axle nut thread is fucked up
> have to take axle out of hub and use a grinding wheel to grind away to the good part of the thread
> still some fucked up thread, takes a long time to power nut on with impact wrench
> finally get everything back in place
> tie rod stud breaks free when reassembling, castle nut only goes on about 1/3 way before the stud rotates freely
> nig a washer out of 1/4in scrap steel pieces laying around
> snug the nut up pretty good against the washer with impact gun
> drive on it for a week until part comes in from rock auto because it was $7 cheaper than at autozone


turns out the axle i put on was defective and a joint boot tore open and flung grease all over my wheel well before eating away at itself. at least i got the axle replaced on warranty even though I fucked up the threads and i got the new one in time to replace it at the same time as the tie rod end.

>mfw the magnet i put by the drain during the post car work shower looks like sonic the fucking hedgehog from all the iron filings i scrubbed out.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 06:58:17 No.9118345
>pouring tap water into a radiator
>not even waiting until it cools down

i had to do that when the head cracked on my car, never again

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 07:07:04 No.9118368
>>9111132
>>fuck its crossthreaded
>>keep going, figure fuck it

you fucking nigger, if you did that on my car i'd have your job

its a good thing im smart enough to unscrew some fucking spark plugs and dont have to rely on idiots like you to do menial shit

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 07:24:35 No.9118416

[Missing image file: howhighdoyouhavetobetoeve(...).jpg]
>>9115453
>Dude working on the engine
>Holds his stumps up
>Noticeable pause
>Squirt

Houston, my sides have a problem.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 07:34:39 No.9118436

[Missing image file: 1294084971570.jpg]

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 07:37:42 No.9118447
>>9118436
>Will never cry about stepping on lego again

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 07:37:43 No.9118448
>>9118436
fucking ow

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 07:58:31 No.9118486
>>9118436
THE PIC

WHY

WHY DID I OPEN THE PIC

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUKFUCKFUCKFUFHUFUKFCUFKFUFUKCUFKCUFKCUKFUCCUF

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 08:04:27 No.9118508

[Missing image file: 1383032406373.jpg]
>>9118436

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 08:30:21 No.9118579
>>9114950
you're wrong.
plain an simple.

It takes approximately 700 psi to break a cinder block. Unless you have a fucking pig fat car, you'll be fine.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 08:50:05 No.9118633

[Missing image file: 1.jpg]
>>9110521
working in engiebay
Turn car on
Turn car of right away
Touch headers
Http://www.Whydididodat.com

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 09:22:46 No.9118701

[Missing image file: 1382690757078.jpg]
>>9114652
dat filename lol

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 09:25:14 No.9118705

[Missing image file: 1381635_241869992634173_7(...).jpg]
>>9114743
shoulda seen that coming,

>front tire
>probably ran into a curb
>exchanged for beer from the 30 pack he had been drinking

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 09:35:27 No.9118718

[Missing image file: dablazabitchnigga.jpg]
>>9115991
its called a vaccum reservoir ball...i used to wonder what it was like on my little blazer

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 09:36:33 No.9118720

[Missing image file: MVC-682F.jpg]
>>9115991

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 09:41:09 No.9118722

[Missing image file: ugly-arab.jpg]
>>9117508
>wanting to roal coal in a shitty 6.2 N/A
>stacks on gas truck
>6k rpm
>Boy did that thing roll some coal

LOL

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 10:19:46 No.9118771
>>9114893

dude, ramps are fucking weaker than cinder blocks. Theyre plastic, man.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 10:22:09 No.9118775
>>9118771

>ramps
>plastic

what kind of shitty chinese ramps have you been buying

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 10:35:35 No.9118788
>>9117508

why didnt he just turn the key off?

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 10:38:43 No.9118799
Oh man I'm a walking disaster sometimes...

>doing front ball joints in Canadian winter on my driveway
>did the passenger side earlier in the week, no problems
>drivers side won't come out
>4 hours of fucking around, stripped the bolts clean
>cut the fucking bolts, dropped the old one with a big sledgehammer
>new one will not go in at all
>start looking at the car after 2 hours of fucking around
>mfw the jack stands were sinking into my driveway and made the drivers side sit at almost normal ride height

>checking out my '78 2 stroke I got for free, won't start
>cleaning carb and replacing reeds, placed paper towel in intake so shit wouldn't get in
>replace carb and reeds, forgot about the paper towel
>sucked in paper towel, got it stuck between the head and the piston
>a 20 minute job just became almost a goddamn rebuild, thank fuck I didn't fuck the piston rings up, and thank fuck for air cooled 2 strokes

>setting timing on "new" zetec
>using a file instead of the specific tool
>it breaks, set timing using a set of 7/32's drillbits.
>6000 km's later I think the timings right...

>>
Cruisin 2013-10-30 10:50:54 No.9118814
>>9118788
since diesels don't need spark to run and can run on their own engine oil, a jammed fuel rail or oil leak can cause them to continue speeding up (running away) as the engine will pump the fuel or oil faster and faster, creating a feedback loop

the only way to stop a runaway diesel is to block the air intake so there's nothing to burn, turning off the key does nothing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NRaqgab0_w

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 10:59:50 No.9118824
>>9118814

holy crap that sounds mean as fuck at high rpm

i wonder what it got to

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 11:08:30 No.9118834
not me but this is a great story of the ultimate fuckup:

http://www.audiforums.com/forum/off-topic-5/hey-guys-please-help-my-mods-gone-wrong-80267/

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 11:09:51 No.9118836
>>9118814
can you stall the engine if you have access to clutch pedal and gears?

>>
Cruisin 2013-10-30 11:15:26 No.9118841
>>9118836
in theory, with that much torque you might just burn the clutch out instead though

often tractor pulling trucks design their motors to run away but have a butterfly valve on the intake to shut them down when they finish their run

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 11:59:04 No.9118940
>>9118788
Because based diesels run on compressed diarrhea and can't be stopped when they get stuck in a loop

>>9118814
This is pretty much what is was like, except revving went on for a solid 5-6 minutes

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 12:32:43 No.9119030
>>9118436
i like how you took the time to write that down and take pictures of it

still, thats one hella fuckup. why do you have razors laying on the ground?

>>
Raoul Duke 2013-10-30 15:29:37 No.9119434
>>9118824
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M1o2rpO_JY
>that sound
>that guys face when he runs away from it
in all honesty, i don't blame him.

>>
Anonymous 2013-10-30 15:55:03 No.9119499
>>9118436
what's the story behind this?







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