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/tg/ Traditional Games

Warning: All the content of this page originally come from 4chan.org. This is only a partial archive made to avoid destruction. Some posts and images may be missing. All the messages below have been posted by anonymous users and we do not guarantee any truth of what they said.
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Anonymous 2013-06-05 09:48:16 No.25257262

[Missing image file: skeleton.jpg]

How would /tg/s typical lich-controlled army cross a wide river/lake/sea?
Ghostly ships? Walking over the bottom of the body of water? Teleportation? Catapulting bones before animating them?
More creative ideas?

Anonymous 2013-06-05 09:50:51 No.25257284
Through years and years of manipulation.
I would have two cities on the other side of the river fight each other to the death and then reanimate their corpses.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 09:51:54 No.25257300
I don't understand the question.

why would my ever growing army of the undead ever need to go anyplace?

Anonymous 2013-06-05 09:54:39 No.25257315
Flood the river with corpses.
Cast epic-level animate dead.
Massive, powerful, undead river that pumps out zombies and skeletons.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 09:56:05 No.25257324

[Missing image file: 1363984321557.jpg]
I have a flying fortress, built from magically animated stone and the bones of colossal undead monsters, built into a gigantic, unliving abomination, which in itself is a gateway to a demiplane of my own creation, which is a yet larger castle within the one I've built in the material plane. Problem is the giant castle dimension managed to become sentient, trapped me in the central tower, and is using my own power to keep itself functioning and in control of my own army, while the layout of the castle itself has turned into something one might expect a madman far less sane than I ever was to construct.

Dear gods I wish some adventurers would blow this shit up and kill me.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 09:56:22 No.25257327
Depends how far they have to cross, really. If there is an existing shipping lane, I would package all my skeletons up into crates like battle droids and just fedex them to the enemy. Just pay the right amount of coin to get my army smuggled in, and it can assemble itself under the enemy's nose.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 09:56:23 No.25257328
Walking on bottom, ghostly ships that can submerge and re-emerge. Maybe even flying/hovering ghost ships.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 09:58:20 No.25257341
In the belly of some zombie whales.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:01:53 No.25257363

[Missing image file: Sabriel.jpg]
Fucking acolyte Necromancers.

The dead CAN'T cross water, much less walk through it!

notfaggot 2013-06-05 10:03:47 No.25257376
Does the sentient castle run on skeleton logic circuits?

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:04:46 No.25257385
Fuck I don't even know anymore. I wasn't expecting the whole "my castle is alive" thing.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:07:50 No.25257413
Have you tried talking to him/it?

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:10:17 No.25257425

[Missing image file: skele.jpg]
How quickly we forget the skelecopter.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:10:29 No.25257427
It doesn't like that. There's a lot of incoherent screaming and the occasional use of racial slurs.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:13:08 No.25257445

They can't cross fast moving water. They can cross slow moving water.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:13:08 No.25257446
Have you tried a "Placate emotions" (not sure of the name) spell?

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:15:14 No.25257460
They CAN but they WON'T.

They're deeply afraid of water, and unless you have direct control of them you can't tell them to cross it.

Or are you about to tell me you're a powerful necromancer that can completely control an army of undead with no issue?

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:16:56 No.25257473
Pretty sure unread are immune to that.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:19:20 No.25257488
If you make the skeletons move at the same relative speed as the water, then would it still be fast moving?

What's the relative frame of motion of the water?

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:19:45 No.25257491

Look kid, it's easy to command a few undead to cross still water. And it's possible to get a large horde across with liberal application of gravedirt. Don't make it out like there's no way to cross bloody water

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:20:36 No.25257499
>bloody water

That's a completely different thing.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:21:37 No.25257504
See, here's a necromancer that actually tries to solve the problem, rather then just giving up because it's "too difficult".

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:22:20 No.25257511

Oh yea, bloody water is wayyyyy easier

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:38:37 No.25257615
Come on, you cannot experience life in your tower's basement. Go out. Make friends. Conquer cities with your undead army.

Do you expect kings to come to your tower and say "Oh, mighty lich, your army is so great please have my country"? They won't. You need toa ctually go out and make things happen.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:47:59 No.25257674
Little of all the above for me. Actually had a lich who would mass teloport undead commandos into places so they could do a stealth operation. Another fun trick is to cast a flesh protecting enchantment on some high lieutenants and leave them underwater for like 2-3 years with you leaking they are dead with illusions making it look so. Then as soon as a naval attack happens call them forth from where you buried them and freak people out

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:53:13 No.25257702
Personally when I necromancer I just use what's around me. Being able to detect any and all bones within 500 meters helps as well.
Nothing says indie necromancy like a swarm of undead rats boiling up from the sewers, followed by an amalgamam made of hobo bones and cow heads from the local slaughter house; followed by a long, long forgotten Red dragon skeleton, that was killed in the early days of the city being there smashing its way up through the pavement.


Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:54:04 No.25257708
Man that Skeleton is just hanging out, all like "Excuse me wtf r u doin?" as these stupid commoners pretending to be adventurers bust in and bother him for no reason.

I'd much rather hang out with the sassy skeleton than that cowardly and superstitious lot.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:55:23 No.25257718

[Missing image file: amphibious_necro_army_concept.jpg]
>Find a Giant Sea Turtle
>Kill it and reanimate it.
>Hollow out the inside.
>Fill it with horrible abominations.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:58:53 No.25257742
Stand the skeletons on top of each others shoulders to the height (depth?) of the lake bed and have the bottom level walk across the bottom, so that as they approach, at first it looks like they're eerily floating across the surface of the water, and you have all the bards and scholars huddled up trying to think if they can remember any kind of skeleton that floats or flies, but then as they start to climb the bank at the other side they suddenly realise it's far far worse than that

Anonymous 2013-06-05 10:59:57 No.25257751
>Bloated corpes for buoyancy
>Skelecopters as propellers
>Skeletons leg on the underside for moving on land


Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:01:33 No.25257763
What happens if someone turns the ones at the bottom.

Its just going to look ridiculous as they all tumble down.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:01:43 No.25257764
Have you tried to create yet another interdimensional portam? You might be able to escape from the inside.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:03:21 No.25257775
Look I have a lot of left over bonemeal lying around, and while the ground rules have a lot to say about moving water I don't think their anywhere near as clear on the subject of half set jello.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:03:38 No.25257777
No, no, no. The army only exists to protect me and my phyclatery.

Why the fuck would I want to explore a single shitty world when I'm powerful enough to go Planeswalking?

And why the fuck does my army need to go anyplace? We don't march. We spread undeath like a disease. If there's anything living nearby, they kill it and then I raise it.

I don't need to march. Time is quite literally on my side. It delivers unto me thralls of the strongest warlord eventually.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:07:02 No.25257784
Well granted that's true but this lake is pretty murky and I'm really only invading the neighboring kingdom to stave off my ever growing ennui and I think that would probably look pretty fucking funny, so worth it around.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:09:53 No.25257800
I thought it was just vampires who can't cross running water, where ever did you find the same about other undead?

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:15:08 No.25257835
Well ordinarily in DnD it is, your folklore may vary, but this guy up here >>25257363 specifically brought up a series of books where it is true of all undead, and l find the concept of a zombie horde shambling across a lake of Jello hilarious so I ran with it.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:19:58 No.25257879
>re-animated lindworm
>innards replaced by a corpse skin baloon filled with helium
>bloated cadavers filled with petroleum carrying torches as firebombs

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:21:02 No.25257884

Skelecopters, of course.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:25:54 No.25257928

[Missing image file: Xykon.gif]
That's the problem with newbie liches. Always thinking like the living.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:32:43 No.25257980

[Missing image file: lich with pet cats.png]
Please, not all of us have a pathetic breakdown just because we lose our natural senses (You know its relatively simple to replicate such processes through magic, don't you?)

Honestly I'm quite fond of those still trudging along the mortal coil.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:38:26 No.25258030
Look maybe I don't have the right temperament for immortality but after I'd spent a century catching up on all that reading I missed out on whilst researching lichdom, and a century naming all of my skeletons and then a third century finding a way to make undead that are capable of singing contralto so I can stage full versions of troll operas with all the realistic deaths dealt with in the stage directions with out having to train a new cast after each performance I started to get bored.

I thought I'd spice things up by spending a century being a cruel vicious despot, conquering the neighboring kingdom and ruling it with an iron fist; then maybe after that I'll spend the next century making shoes for orphans out of the skin of their dead parents...

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:44:27 No.25258098

[Missing image file: Skellingtons inbound.jpg]
I guess if the current's slow enough, you could just get your skellingtons to walk across the bottom.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:53:22 No.25258206
See, this is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.

Why not just paint a fucking target on your phylactery and be done with it?

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:54:27 No.25258217
Strictly speaking, those are cursed humans rather than true undead.

Voodoo has it's own limitations, though.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 11:56:53 No.25258241

[Missing image file: 11954370781732675438johnn(...).png]
>I don't have the right temperament for immortality
It is an ironic fact of death that those who have the wrong temperament for immortality are almost invariably the same kind of people who are driven to seek it out.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 12:01:06 No.25258282
Because I'm not bored of unlife I just felt like getting out of the doom fortress for a couple of centuries for a bit of a holiday; if some Johnny Adventurer decides to come and try and put me down I think that could be a jolly good laugh, and if he succeeds in temporarily killing me, well good on him I'll bugger off for a couple of generations and let him enjoy the spoils while I go and see what the Plane of Improbably Flying Dire Weasels is like

Anonymous 2013-06-05 12:03:45 No.25258303

Anonymous 2013-06-05 12:22:22 No.25258433
Meh, it's ok. I prefer the plane of Custard Flavoured Geltinous Cubes, myself.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 13:08:18 No.25258846

[Missing image file: Carnivale.jpg]
Travelling carnival, rides, adventures and games to tire out the people of the city and town, before removing our masks and adding to our troupe.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 13:20:51 No.25258945
I can't ever seem to find a good link filled with Carnivale pictures.

I need them for my Carnivale campaign setting that is pretty much what you just described.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 13:29:13 No.25259004
Google it or draw it yourself, I find drawing characters is far superior to just describing them.

If only I could draw half decently.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 13:30:35 No.25259013
I think somebody on /co/ would always spam Carnivale when some shitty webcomic artist was posted. I'm not sure if that happens anymore or not.

Anyway, my Lich would tunnel. Basically, all the dead would be brought to a giant crypt for the kingdom for their final resting place. They would then be reanimated and sent to dig.

That's a nice city you have there. It would be a shame if something happened to it in several years.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 13:34:42 No.25259049
Have the skeletons deconstruct themselves into a bridge of bones (in lieu of bones, use zombie flesh). Have the remaining army cross and deconstruct from the other end to complete the crossing.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 13:36:23 No.25259057

[Missing image file: cegorach.jpg]
Man, I have many of them yet no use for them at all.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 14:13:38 No.25259379
"Google it".

You do fucking realize that there is a popular show named Carnivale? That's all that I can seem to get no matter what I put in.

Buzzclaw 2013-06-05 14:39:32 No.25259582
Wouldn't Skeletons and Zombies float? They'd need weights or something then.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 14:44:40 No.25259622

[Missing image file: venice_bird.jpg]
Have a whole blog of carnevale masks then


Anonymous 2013-06-05 17:00:30 No.25260974
Poke holes in all your zombies so the corpse gas can escape.

Also no, skullingtons do not float.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 17:25:50 No.25261282
I like how the late Zhaitan did it.

Smash a pirate nation and then resurrect all their sailors to crew their submeragable undead ships.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 17:46:01 No.25261515
Currently got my massive and growing number of undead working the mines under a city, digging out metal and the ingredients for black powder.
Where we're going with this we won't need to cross oceans.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 20:46:31 No.25263927

is that one of those Betazed birdcage wigs Old Lady Troi talked about?

Anonymous 2013-06-05 20:54:28 No.25264054
me too.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 21:00:15 No.25264144
>Walking over the bottom of the body of water?
Bad idea. Water pressure at the bottom of any reasonably large lake would be enough to do notable damage to anything with flesh, and I'm not sure about skeletons, either - unless we're in Morrowind (in which reanimated skeletons are specifically stated to be held together by supple leather straps) it appears that skeletons are generally held together purely by magic, and that magic is not usually strong enough to keep them in a coherent skeleton shape for more than a few knocks, so it's likely that pressure would disintegrate the skeleton into its component bones.

At the bottom of the sea, or even worse, the ocean, the pressure's going to be enough to compress pretty much any corpse without very, very high damage reduction, fleshed or otherwise, to a roughly hemispherical blob of viscera.

I'll just steal some boats. If need be I will have my undead army BUILD some motherfucking boats. I can delegate the task to the intelligent but utterly loyal undead I reanimated to be my centurions and viziers.

Anonymous 2013-06-05 21:01:36 No.25264164
As if Zhaitan's dead. Until I see the corpse, I won't believe it.

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