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/trv/ Travel

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Anonymous 2016-08-28 05:44:21 No.1155507

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I relocated to Singapore a year ago. I am Asian-American. I just broke up with my bf who moved here with me and I prefer dating people from a similar Western background due to the lack of cultural differences. And I am douchebag for having this preference?

Also, how difficult is it to find a dating partner of a similar cultural background in Singapore? I know that only a minority of people in Singapore is culturally Western but birds of a feather flock together.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 06:33:04 No.1155515
How did you relocate to Singapore? Skilled migrant visa? Having a preference isn't douchey but it's not a big deal to just go out on some dates to get to know new cultures. But dating is already complicated enough even with similar backgrounds and cultures, so don't blame you if you are picky,

Anonymous 2016-08-28 07:17:44 No.1155522
Well, you didn't answer the question of how easy or difficult it would be to meet someone of the same cultural background.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 07:30:11 No.1155523
Sorry, I couldn't really say. There are a lot of ex-pats but really didn't meet/see many from the US. The most I saw were at Clarke Quay. What age range and gender are you looking for?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 07:43:59 No.1155524
I am in my late 20s. Someone close to my age woupd be great.
I am looking for men. I am not bisexual haha.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 07:50:14 No.1155525
I really have no idea sorry

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:03:50 No.1155533
Wait, you're a woman? The douchebag part threw me off, I thought only guys were douchbags.
You're probably going to be alright, have you tried some dating sites/apps? Just mention you're looking for Western men, although I'm pretty sure you'll have some hate thrown your way by some Singaporeans with low self esteem. No expert but looking for guys the old fashioned way could be pretty difficult with your requirements.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:05:57 No.1155535
Tits or gtfo

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:14:09 No.1155536
Haha I didn't want to use the word "bitch"
Yeah I am thinking about using dating sites. I've heard that some are pretty crappy though

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:25:32 No.1155537
I'm a guy and 20 so my experience isn't really like yours but I found it was a bit hard to meet "western" people but as soon as you became friends with one and meet their friends, that was it
For me I met a girl that when to an international college here and then met all of her friends
If I were you I would try Inter nations and go to some of their newcomers events

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:26:03 No.1155538
I think that's probably all dating sites worldwide. Just have to deal with it. Could try paktor.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:26:51 No.1155539
>I found it was a bit hard to meet "western" people
Why though? As in there are very few western people in Singapore?
Also, which country are you from?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:27:52 No.1155540
Well you advised me to use dating sites though, saying that meeting guys the old fashioned way is difficult

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:36:46 No.1155544
Yeah, I'm still suggesting that, just saying that most if not all dating websites are crap. You just need to wade through all that.
Meeting the kind of guy you're looking for will be more difficult the old fashioned way.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:37:45 No.1155545
Should I just try to meet someone by networking? Similar to what >>1155537 said? I mean, I can try to find a date and friends at the meantime lol.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:39:32 No.1155546
Im from the US
It's hard to meet western people because they pretty much only hang out with other expats, and almost never hang out with locals
For me it was really hard because I came over knowing nobody and everyone from my work is a local except for one women who is 35+, the closest in terms of age is like a 25+ y/o Indian guy who doesn't go out to clubs or bars or anything, just watches movies every weekend
I ended meeting a girl that was from here but "westernized" through tinder and met all her friends but they literally all went off to college last weekend so now Im back to hanging with locals

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:42:04 No.1155548
Have you tried meetup.com? It seems that it's easy to meet other expats because not that many locals use that lol.
It's funny how many of the Singaporeans I've met on English websites are either international school kids, expats from the west, or Eurasian lol.
>a girl that was from here but "westernized"
Haha is that girl from an international school? Do you prefer dating westernized people as well?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:43:24 No.1155549
If you can find that network, that's probably even better. But I don't imagine that will be a huge network, so I don't know how much selection it takes to find a match.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:46:13 No.1155550
>I don't imagine that will be a huge network
As in there are very few westernized people here or that I'll probably only meet a small group of people?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:50:52 No.1155552
Yeah, because I'm only 20 finding expats is literally impossible since it's not common to be working in a different country at such a young age so all the "western" girls I meet are just international school girls that are from here or some surrounding countries but I'm okay with that because at least they don't speak retarded Singlish
And yeah I prefer westerners because the culture difference with locals is too much imo

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:51:35 No.1155553
More the second, each network will likely be smaller. Unless you hit the mother of all networks. But there's a good size ex-pat community, I think most of them I saw around were Euros.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 08:53:58 No.1155554
How did you end up in Singapore?
Have you tried dating a local? Were there a lot of issues due to cultural differences?
Well technically international school kids are not westerners lol but I guess they are as westernized as the average Asian-American

Anonymous 2016-08-28 09:05:40 No.1155558
I have an internship with a company that my dad works for from mid July to mid Dec so I've only been here like 1.5months but I've gone on dates (just meeting for drinks or clubbing) with locals, girls from international schools, and one russian
The local girls my age are fairly westernized but at the same time these are girls that are clubbing and drinking and on tinder (how I meet them usually), the big difference was that they are still very conservative with guys (I was a girls first kiss, she was 19) and they are expected to be home with their parents every night
The international school girls aren't actually western (it's why I've been saying western with " ") but I couldn't tell the difference desu, meeting up with them was just like meeting up with girls from back home

Anonymous 2016-08-28 09:09:16 No.1155560
So are you more like looking for flings?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 09:10:17 No.1155561
I mean, it seems like you're in Singapore for a short period of time.
I am not looking for flings myself and I'm looking for something more long-term.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 09:17:00 No.1155563
Not really looking for anything but Ive only met one girl here that I would date

>I am not looking for flings myself and I'm looking for something more long-term.
You should go on Internations then for real, I went to an event and everyone there was like 26-32 and 40+ and most people are either from Europe or Philippines, Thailand
I didn't like it because everyone is a bit out of my age range but it seems like you would
If you need someone to go to out to clubs/bars with I'm down though or just exploring the touristy stuff because I havent done that either

Anonymous 2016-08-28 09:29:46 No.1155566
Haha do you think I will be able to find anything long-term here? It seems like there aren't that many westerners here

Anonymous 2016-08-28 09:42:18 No.1155568
It just depends on how social you are but you're in kinda a bad situation
Western guys who want western girls won't approach you since you (probably) look like a local and western guys that want local girls will be disappointed that you aren't a local
just meet as many people as you can, but it'll help if the group of girls/friends you go out with are western/white looking

Anonymous 2016-08-28 09:45:56 No.1155570
I think it has more to do with how there aren't that many westernizers here. Do you think this small dating pool will be an issue for me?
>Western guys who want western girls won't approach you
Do you mean guys who are not attracted to Asians at all?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 09:53:03 No.1155571
Not OP but I am interested in this thread. I went to an international school in Hong Kong and want someone western as well (I find many Hongkongers rather conservative and not that many guys want to party as much as me). Any tips on how to find a date? I saw that you mentioned Tinder but isn't Tinder only good for one night stands?
What's your take on what other westerners will think of me? Am I "western" or a local to them?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 10:12:37 No.1155575
It's not really a small dating pool, there are a good amount of expats but it's just harder to find them and almost impossible if you just hang out with locals because expats tend to only hangout with other expats
And no, I meant a guy who wants a girl with western culture, but since you look Asian (I assume) he will probably assume you're a local and not an Asian-american.. the easiest way to avoid this is to go out with girls who don't look like locals

Idk how guys are on tinder but a lot of girls here in SG will specifically say they aren't looking for just a one night thing
Honestly, here most of the international school girls seem to only party with western guys so I'm kinda surprised you would have trouble finding westerners.. I know locals, international school and western girls but that's because I go out 2-3 nights a week and I'm very sociable so I meet new people every night
I would consider you western but you have to realize that when some guys say they want a "western" girl they really are talking about looks and not culture so you would be local to them if you looked Asian
Another reason I consider international school girls "western" here is because they speak fluent English, either with an American or British accent while the locals have bad accents and speak Singlish which just sounds retarded to me and all of my western friends

Anonymous 2016-08-28 10:21:45 No.1155577
There is a US Navy outpost there. I imagine you could find someone there, but Singaporeans are pretty westernized. I mean, they are cucked to the point 80 percent speak English. They are also materialistic/capitalist as hell

Anonymous 2016-08-28 10:24:11 No.1155579
Yeah I have noticed how expats with their own social circles in Singapore. Is meetup a good way to enter this social circle? Inter nation seems a bit too broad.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 10:30:36 No.1155587
>Yeah I have noticed how expats with their own social circles in Singapore
It's like that in every country (at least asian) desu

Anyway, how do you go about getting a job in Singapore? I went there last year and found it a pleasant place and wouldn't mind giving it a shot if the opportunity came up

Anonymous 2016-08-28 10:33:06 No.1155590
>a lot of girls here in SG will specifically say they aren't looking for just a one night thing
Yeah I guess I can do that too. Thanks for the suggestion!
>here most of the international school girls seem to only party with western guys
But I have trouble meeting western people at my uni. Everyone in my class is from a local school. All of my friends in high school pretty much ended up studying abroad and leaving Hong Kong. As a girl, I don't want to party by myself so often.
>you have to realize that when some guys say they want a "western" girl they really are talking about looks and not culture
Well you answered OP saying that these guys want a girl with western culture?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 10:35:22 No.1155592
I got a job teaching at an international school. What is your career?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 10:38:11 No.1155594
>It's like that in every country (at least asian) desu
Not that person you are replying to, but do Asians who grew up in the west tend to mingle with expats or locals when they move back to Asia?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 10:50:48 No.1155598
Idk I havent heard of meetup unless you mean like meeting one expat in person and then getting invited to do more stuff with their group? because that's how I do it
I've only been to one Inter nations thing but my boss from Sweden pretty much swears by it, she ONLY hangs out with other Swedes and she said she met people through Inter naitons, the one time I went I met a girl form Poland, a girl from Hungary, an Asian who had lived in Europe, and a girl from the Philippines.. they are all 26+ so I don't really talk to them but if I were older it would have been perfect

Oh yeah idk about after high school, all the girls I met from international school either graduated and study abroad now or haven't finished yet but are going to leave SG when they do

>Well you answered OP saying that these guys want a girl with western culture?
It depends on the guy when a guy says he wants a "western" girl, some want girls that have the same western culture as them (partying, drinking, not conservative around guys, facebook, instagram, ect) but some guys mean western looking i.e. European, white, blonde/brunette type girl

to the first guy you would be western because you have the same culture as him but to the second guy (if you look Asian) you will be a local because he is really only talking about looks

When I say western I always mean culture-wise and i'll usually say so if I'm talking about looks

Anonymous 2016-08-28 10:58:56 No.1155600
Did accounting although I haven't got any experience yet
I've spent time in Taiwan, and one of the things I noticed is that there was a big difference in attitudes from those who'd spent time in the west to those who hadn't. That being said having a foreign friend there is cool there. And I just realised I misread your question; I can't remember meeting many western raised asians in Asia, but of my experience with them in general they'd feel much more comfortable with a group of westerners

Anonymous 2016-08-28 11:00:26 No.1155601
>idk about after high school
Yeah as the only international kid in my class I feel lonely at times. I try to fit in and sometimes the people who went to local schools joke about how I never listen to Cantopop and don't get some Cantonese slang words.
Should I try mingling with older expats like those 26+ expats you mentioned? I am 20. Is it possible to form a long-term relationship with someone that much older?

As OP asked, do you think I will have trouble finding anything serious here? I understand that some westerners are not attracted to Asians at all. You said that it's not really a small dating pool in Singapore though and I assume it's similar to Hong Kong - I've met quite a number of expats here.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 11:04:45 No.1155603
>big difference in attitudes from those who'd spent time in the west to those who hadn't
What did you mean by that? Are Asians who were born and raised in the west more friendly towards other people from the west?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 11:18:03 No.1155606
I more meant those who had studied or worked overseas. Asians born and raised in the west are for all intents and purposes western in their attitudes (although they do prefer to hang around other western raised asians)

Anonymous 2016-08-28 11:19:32 No.1155607
Is there an international university by you? I would try to make friends there. If you really don't think you fit in with your classmates then why don't you hit up some people from your old school? The ones who didn't leave or didn't graduate yet? You could go out with the people finishing their last year of high school and try to meet other people who are staying
The youngest expats that you are gonna find will be 25+ because you have to finish school, work at a company for a few years, and then get transferred to a different location
As a 20 y/o guy trying to hit on girls who are 26+ is pretty much impossible so I don't even try, but if you don't mind it then I'm sure there will be some older guys who would date a 20 year old
Because guys don't mature until alter and girls mature much earlier, I find that dating a girl 25+ wouldn't work for me as we're at two different stages in life, but a 20 y/o girl and an older guy might work it's just up to you if you think you should or not.. I would advise to meet as many people as you can, expat and local, because then you maximize your options- not just dating but also for friends, people who will party with you, things like that

Anonymous 2016-08-28 11:22:20 No.1155608
Sorry for all these long replies, I'm sitting in my apartment incredibly bored because I broke my phone 2 weeks ago so I haven't gone out in two weeks
Between work and just sitting inside both weekends, replying to these threads is like the least boring thing I've done all week

Anonymous 2016-08-28 11:23:20 No.1155609
>Is there an international university by you?
We don't have anything like that in Hong Kong!
>don't think you fit in with your classmates
I do get along with them but I wish there were more people from the same background as me. Now it's only me in my class!
>why don't you hit up some people from your old school?
I graduated two years ago. I don't know people from the younger grades.

Yeah I understand that most expats here will not be in my age range. There are some exchange and international students at my uni. Like OP I prefer dating someone western as well.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 11:24:48 No.1155610
>my boss from Sweden pretty much swears by it, she ONLY hangs out with other Swedes
Haha really? I assume there won't be that many Swedes in Singapore!

Anonymous 2016-08-28 11:32:31 No.1155612
How are these Asians who have lived abroad different from someone who has lived in Asia all his life? What about international school kids?

Anonymous 2016-08-28 11:40:18 No.1155613
I don't know anything about international schools.
While it's hardly the case 100% of the time, those who've lived abroad tend to adopt a more western worldview and attitudes. It's difficult for me to describe, but they have a different air about them, like how you can often quickly tell whether an asian is local or not without hearing their accent

Anonymous 2016-08-28 12:27:51 No.1155628
>Asian dating thread on /trv/
>nobody crying for deletion

Oh yeah. It's made by a girl.
gg you cucks

Anonymous 2016-08-28 13:11:47 No.1155641
t. butthurt white guy who made a thread about how to meet asians in asia

Anonymous 2016-08-28 13:14:48 No.1155643
Haha, disregard that, I suck cocks

Anonymous 2016-08-28 13:21:11 No.1155644
>I prefer dating people from a similar Western background due to the lack of cultural differences. And I am douchebag for having this preference?
Not at all. How else will you have your little shared childhood memories of Ren & Stimpy, or the day the Space Shuttle crashed, etc. The edict that opposites attract is bullshit. Another culture in your spouse-to-be is simply someone that doesn't realize you aren't a 10. When a 40-something loser goes to Asia, where someone just wants to escape their hellhole, then they aren't truly interested in you, are they? To overgeneralize, that is.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 13:33:39 No.1155647
I would just go out with the friends you have now and try to meet western guys and girls at clubs (girls because then you can go out with them and meet even more people)
The first week or so that I came here I went out to a club and this girl that wanted to hook up was making teasing me for getting a bunch of dudes' numbers asking if I was gay and stuff like that but guess what? I party with those guys every weekend and they have even gotten me into VIP at the best clubs here for free.. that same girl? Stopped talking to her a few days later
I always find that people of the same gender are the best to meet because there's no sexual tension on either side

Same but apparently my boss knows all of them.. Her neighbors are Swedish, she only hangs out with swedes and she will go clubbing fairly regularly with swedes only

Anonymous 2016-08-28 13:37:08 No.1155648
I am thinking of attending meetup groups. My uni doesn't have some interest groups for my hobbies so I might as well try meetup.com.
I don't know if it is a good idea to meet people when drunk haha.
It seems that now I am now getting a lot of hate in this thread.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 13:43:11 No.1155649
Im a very big extrovert so Im a bit biased but I would say go for it, literally meet as many people as you can because if you meet 50 people next week and don't like any of them then you're in the same place as if you didn't go out at all.. but if you meet 50 people and even befriend just 1 or 2 of them, you are in a much better situation

Anonymous 2016-08-28 13:49:24 No.1155651
Yeah I want to make friends related to my hobbies too. Some of these hobbies are not very common in Hong Kong.

Anonymous 2016-08-28 13:58:43 No.1155653
What school did you go to btw? I have a friend that went to HK International school, she probably graduated like 2 years ago, not really sure, she would be a sophomore in college for the US I think

Anonymous 2016-08-28 14:07:00 No.1155655
I don't want to share my school here. I didn't go to that international school

Anonymous 2016-08-28 14:45:44 No.1155668
Understandable, just thought it was weird that I know someone from form and HK high school and then end up going to that region myself

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