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Which of you faggots did this?
It's happening! The real apocalypse is starting — right on time, Mayans.
According to the Long Island Crime Examiner, a 26-year-old man named Jared Gurman has been charged with second-degree attempted murder for shooting his girlfriend in the back with a .22 caliber assault rifle early Monday morning, after their heated fight over the AMC TV show The Walking Dead.
What exactly were they fighting about? "He felt very adamant," Detective Lt. Raymond Cote told reporters Tuesday (via NBC News), "there could be a military mishap [on the show] that would result in some sort of virus being released that could cause a terrible thing to happen." Apparently the girlfriend, not named, did not agree. "She felt it was ridiculous," said Cote. "He's passionate about it. And it escalated to the point it did."
She decided she didn't want to spend the night with him, so she dropped him off at his home, but their argument continued via text messaging. The girlfriend decided to go back to his house to try to calm him down, since apparently he was sounding angry and bitter. When she got there, police said, he was standing outside with his rifle and eventually shot a single round into her back, leaving her with a pierced lung, shattered rib, pierced diaphragm and severe bleeding. According to Examiner, she was in serious but stable condition.
Weirdly enough, alcohol and drugs were not involved, and he has no history of mental illness. His attorney told area reporters the rifle "went off accidentally." The couple had been dating for a little less than four years.